my wife is bipolar and she wants her space?

Question

my wife has asked for legal separation and we just found out she is bipolar should i just give up and let her goor should i fight for the woman i love i love her and iam in it for the long hall please someone tell me iam going out of mind worring about her

Answer 1

Being a woman, and bipolar, I would recommend doing a combo of the both. If she just found out then she is going through a very hard time. It is hard to find out that there really is something wrong with you mentally. Not to mention the fact that you will have to be on pills the rest of your life. Most of which have bad side effects.
Once diagnosed you are not automatically given the combo of wonder drugs to make life wonderful. It is a long process that involves trial and error with the many many drugs that are out there. I was diganosed seven months ago and I am still having to go through that searching process.
I think the best thing for you to do would be to give her the space she needs while at the same time letting her know that you are there for support. If she wants the separation ask her if you can do an informal separation first. If she says no just say ok. Make sure you tell her that you are agreeing to what she wants because you love her, and that you are going to help her in any way she needs you to. Try not to be pushy or overbearing, that will push her further away. Her mental state is probably not great right now so please keep that in mind. I don't think you should bow down to her either though. Most women don't like guys that are like that, regardless of their mental state. I think it may help if you do some research on the disease. There are many sites that offer help in dealing with a bipolar spouse. My husband found them and it gave him a much better understanding of what is going on in my head.
I hope this helps. It is hard having this disease but I think it is just as hard on the people that love the bipolar person! There is a website called crazymeds.org that is informal compared to most informational sites. A humurous light is put on the different mental disorders and there is a wealth of information from others that have the disease as well as their loved ones.
Good luck with everything.

Answer 2

It sounds like you are very committed and understanding--and that's so nice to hear, instead of "My wife is bipolar, I'm angry!" I would give you the biggest hug right now if I could!!!

I can tell you only want the best for her, and this is really a difficult decision. I would tell her how you feel (I love you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, etc.) and then see how she responds. Maybe she is just afraid that you won't understand. Let her know you are willing to work through the good times and the bad. Perhaps then she will change her mind.

Otherwise? I couldn't imagine keeping a loved one in my life against his/her will. It would be devastating if your wife left you--but would it be worse if she was unhappy the rest of her--and your--life? It's a very hard decision, and I wish the best of luck to you. Again, I am so glad you are such an understanding and loving person.

Best wishes,
Annie

Answer 3

that's a tough situation; i've been in similar situations.
people who suffer from bipolar need medication to even out their chemical imbalance.
try to help her see a doctor and get some meds.
don't be too pushy. bipolar often times have overly sensitive feelings.
If you love her and want to stay married, tell her that and tell her you'll do everything possible to help her get better and help your marriage. Suggest marriage counseling. Apologize for what you've done to hurt her; ask forgiveness; forgive her.
Enlist the help of her friends; tell 3 of her closest friends that she is not doing well and needs her friends to call/email/visit her at least once a week. Also, try to find some friends that will do things w/ her, so she'll have some 'away time' from you. Start doing things with your friends, so she has the house to herself sometimes, if she needs space. Take her out on 'dates' like you did when you started your relationship.
If she says/does things that hurt you, but you think it's only b/c of the bipolar/chemical imbalance, try to leave the room so she has time to cool down. Don't try to argue or defend yourself. Let her calm down; maybe start writing in a journal so you can get your thoughts/feelings out, but it won't be inflaming her emotions.
If she is sick enough that you are worried about her hurting herself, then stay with her and try to help. Seek professional & medical help. Love her and do what is best for her. Patience. Good luck.

Answer 4

Is being bipolar the reason she wants a separation?

Does she have another lover?

Do you know the reason she wants a separation?

You need to find out why she wants this, and address that issue. Leave the bipolar thing out of it, unless it has a direct impact. There may be issues that cannot be resolved, no matter what you do.

Since you didn't elaborate much, I don't have much to go on, but if this/these issues can be worked out by the two of you, I say stick with it. Obviously you know the feelings you have for her, but you need to find out how she feels about you. If she asked for this, there has to be a reason, find out what it is, and talk it through.

Good luck.

Stevo.

Answer 5

Try to convince her to take whatever medicine the doctor gave her. Then tell her that you will agree to give her space if she takes the medicine for 2 months and after that if she still wants a legal separation, you will agree. Chances are once the medicine starts work, she will realize that a separation is not what she really wants. Give her some space around the house but remind her often that you love her and want to help her and want only what's best for her. Also, she should see a therapist who works with bi-polar patients--she was probably advised by her doctor to do so anyway. Talking to someone who is not a part of the situation helps.

Answer 6

Did you find out she was bi-polar after the fact or before? Is she taking any medication? If I was you I would try to work things out with her. My husband is bi-polar and he goes through mood swings but it is more or less under control with medication. If it is possible, go see a psychiatrist along with her to support her and it that way you will understand the disease better and be able to cope with it and help her in the process also. Ofcourse if she needs space for a while, there may be nothing you can do about it. You can only talk to agree or disagree at this point.

Answer 7

Sometimes doing the best thing for the group isn't the most popular decision with the individual. Bipolar isn't something you can talk her out of. If she needs her space, you may have to give it to her whether you want it or not.

Answer 8

There will be mood swings until the medication starts kicking in and with some the meds cause the mood swing.

At some moments she'll need you around and others she doesn't.

More importantly she needs to know that you will be there for her through it all.

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Answer 9

If you can, try to get her to get professional help for the bipolar affective disorder. Give her a little time to get herself together and then see if you can get back together. She's fighting a difficult battle, but if she can see that you are there to help her, you may be able to whip it together.

Answer 10

There is reason for everything. Let things play out. Don't push anything. She has a lot to deal with.