The U.S. Government decided to take an experiment to see what people say right before they get into an auto accident.
89% of the people in 49 states said: ''Oh, ****!''
In Texas 94% said: ''Hold my beer. Watch this.''
2006-07-31 05:54:47 · 12 answers · asked by Stephanie 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
come back with the best texas joke and get 10 points
2006-07-31 05:55:18 · update #1
Well I see it this way.. If your willing to make a fuss for 2 points then you must of liked it in some form to waste your time over it.
2006-07-31 06:06:27 · update #2
these are great!
Dumb Texas Laws
When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.
A city ordinance states that a person cannot go barefoot without first obtaining a special five-dollar permit.
It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
You can be legally married by publically introducing a person as your husband or wife 3 times.
It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers. You don't need a windshield, but you must have the wipers.
It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.
It is illegal to milk another person's cow.
A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
It is unlawful for a person to consume an alcoholic beverage while operating a motor vehicle upon a public roadway, if the person is observed doing so by a peace officer.
The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.
2006-07-31 06:14:07 · answer #1 · answered by Karen 3 · 6⤊ 3⤋
Say Partner
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling. "Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!?!?" he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered. "Alright, I'm gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don't like to have to do what I dun in Texas!"
Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse has been returned to the post. He saddled up and started to ride out of town.
The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say partner, before you go... what happened in Texas?"
The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home."
2006-07-31 18:34:10 · answer #2 · answered by Rich 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha Ha Ha. As a Texan, not only do I find that funny, unfortunately I also find it to be very true. EVERYONE here carries an ice chest in the back of their truck, and low and behold, it contains beer. As you know, it gets mighty hot down here and we must have something to cool ourselves off with. Though it is not adviseable to drink and drive, most texans seem to handle themselves fairly well behind the wheel. Thats what the mudgrips and grill guards are for. We dont drive wimpy vehicles.
2006-07-31 13:06:24 · answer #3 · answered by trebobnagrom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eh.. I'm from Texas and I really don't find it all that amusing, I mean, yea, I can take jokes about us. But seriously, not like any other states don't say the same thing, this joke should be about the more hick-ish states anyways.
2006-07-31 12:58:55 · answer #4 · answered by usagimoon2007 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL! Unfortunately I don't know any Texas jokes. Maybe I'll learn some while I'm in Dallas next week. :D
2006-07-31 12:56:59 · answer #5 · answered by ATWolf 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why Is Oklahoma so windy? Cause Kansas Blows and Texas Sucks....
2006-07-31 17:09:21 · answer #6 · answered by Eva A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does your avatar appear to look so worried - is that also a Texas joke?
2006-07-31 13:02:14 · answer #7 · answered by dot&carryone. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, i don't have ne texas jokes, but u know ur in texas when a: there's a HUGE star covering the front of a house and there's GIT-R-DONE on the back of a pickup truck!! :-)
2006-07-31 13:00:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
99% of all statistic percentages are made up 85% of the time on the spot with no proof or source.
2006-07-31 12:59:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You told it wrong...someone else posted this one not too long ago...maybe if you told it right, more people wouldn't be wasting their time.....
2006-07-31 13:45:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋