Are you sick of rudeness in public places? What can we do about it?

Question

I love living in a big city but with the crowds everywhere, I find myself being frustrated at the lack of gentleness in public places. People bump into each other, honk at each other, talk loudly, don't say thanks or hello, etc. You go shooping in certain places and it's a stampede, it's almost dangerous to get trampled. Don't you think it should be considered a serious social issue since it truly affects our lives on a daily basis?

I try to be nice to others but I'm not perfect either. I just wish we could get along a bit better for everyone's benefit.

Ok, you people seem more thick-skinned and realistic than me and I appreciate that. But do you think that crowds have to equate with rudeness?

I know of organizations that have managed to succesfully advocate for less noise pollution for instance. Isn't there anything at all we can do to make people care about eachother a tiny bit more?

P.S. I also find it rather ironic/revealing that simply asking a question about rudeness brings about rude answers.

Answer 1

There is nothing we can do.We have to live with it.

Answer 2

It's not happening only in big cities. The city I live in is rather small and the same things happen. I honestly think manners should be a course in school from grade Primary until graduation. Some of what they learn may just rub off on the parents and that would be a very good thing. I try to remember that there are others in this world besides me. Hopefully when I do things like say "excuse me" when passing people in an aisle, etc., the people around me might notice it and start doing these things.

Answer 3

Big cities are rampant with rudeness because there are alot of people crammed into a small area of real estate. Overcrowding creates irritability. No, it doesn't have to be that way but human nature being what it is, that's how it goes. Some parts of the country are worse than others. Southern cities still retain some gentility. Two of my favorite southern cities are Memphis and Atlanta.
People are ruder than they used to be. It's true. I think we are seeing a generation of Daycare children who are now out in the world as adults. Their parents did not teach them manners or morals and left their upbringing to the staff at the daycare center. When mothers stayed home with their children, issues of manners were addressed daily. At a daycare center, as long as the kids are kept safe and aren't killing each other, they are left alone. There is no way that a daycare center with a 10-1 worker/child ratio can give the same amount of attention to issues of manners, politeness and respect as a mother with an average 2-1 ratio. The rudeness in the world today is part of the subtle consequences of the daycare generation.

Answer 4

I appreciate you being concerned. If more people were in the world it would solve a lot. I think one of the real problems is apathy (lack of emotion or interest). And it's NOT just in big cities. It's everywhere. I think it can start with people teaching their kids manners and how to get along. But, unfortunately, this is something that is not being addressed enough ( or at all).
I could go on and on.... I agree it's a horrible problem. I would have to say maybe the best solution would be more character education in schools/youth programs.

Answer 5

I agree. People are ruder than they used to be. The antidote ? I for example HATE it when people cross a red light on foot, especially when a child is standing there, waiting. I always make certain to point out very loudly that the person crossing must be either ignorant, blind or stupid. Startles people quite a bit. Some stop and come back to argue, most just blush. Luckily I'm a rather big guy.

In stores and elevators, people rush in without letting people out first. A loud THANK YOU directed at the rudest person ...


People don't say thank you enough. So whenever a person forgets, a very loud "You're welcome" helps.

Answer 6

You can only control your own behavior, not that of anyone else. Don't give in, keep doing what's right. Don't stoop to their level and be rude back. Then you're no better than they are.
Where I work, there's a woman in the cafeteria who, when I'd buy my cup of coffee, never said anything. Every day, I'd say good morning. Every day, I'd thank her when she rang me up. Every day, nothing from her. One day I bought a bag of trail mix with my coffee and she laughed about how I'd changed my usual thing. Then she said the coffee was on her that day. Now she says hello to me every day. But, if she'd never changed, I still would have continued being nice to her because it was the right thing to do.
Chamely--I just saw your answer. That's exactly right--kill 'em with kindness! That's just what I did with this cafeteria person, and it worked!

Answer 7

I don't know. When I lived in a very big city I found this to be very hard to take. I would try to be nice to people, hand doors instead of slamming them in people's faces, saying thank you, that type of thing. I figured that maybe if I did it it would spread. Beyond that, when I was transfered I moved to a town on the outskirts of the city I work in so that when I go home I and relax and be treated civilly.

Answer 8

People in big cities live under stress. The city is so fast and hard. People need to develop strength to handle that stress every day. Unfortunately, I don't think this will change. My husband always says. "I know out there some one would try to hit me and kill me, that's why I have to ride fast and sharp" You know what? He is right. People drive just thinking in their own issues, they don't care about anything else. People just want to get to their jobs, or get home after it. They are always in hurry... they are always cranky, rude and aggressive.

I call that "The Syndrome of the Big City"
I don't think this will change.

Answer 9

I know what you mean! I just went to a city I've never visited, and I was in the drive through. The guy asked what I wanted, and I made it a point to use Please and Thank You. I think he was surprised, because there was a pause between giving him my order, getting my total, etc. and when I drove to the window, he was super polite back, not like the routine "thanks, come back soon." So I guess my answer is-- Kill 'em with kindness. It's never a bad thing to get compliments on your good manners!

Answer 10

yes, I am tired of it also..
When our parents were young, they did not have these issues..
What happened to the kinder, gentler world we lived in back in the old days.. I think after 1980 hit, people became too materialistic and generally only out for themselves...
it just keeps getting worse..
I was born in 1977, but I love to hear the stories about the past..makes me wish I could of been there..

Answer 11

So I'm walking through the grocery store and there's some ****** wearing a shirt, with HUGE letters: F*** YOU. If I hadn't had the kids with me, I think I would would've asked him? F*** Me? It's a problem. People are so rude, they think the world owes them a living. Everyone wants it now, for free, or else...