When I get onto my 23 month old daughter she get really mad.?

Question

When she gets into trouble she gets really mad and startes to either bit herself, pull her own hair, pinch herself for hit herself. What should I do about this.

Answer 1

she is probably expressing her frustration with the situation. at almost 2 she is probably not talking a whole lot, which results in communication frustrations.

if she does something and you "get onto" her about it, she may want to explain herself, just not know how to....then, b/c she is frustrated she pulls at her hair or bites. often, kids will bite or hit their parents, but your daughter is doing it to herself.

what i recommend, try calmly communicating with her and trying to see things from her viewpoint a little bit more. even though, her point of view may not be right, it may make sense to a 2 year old. then, instead of "getting onto" her about it, just explain what she should have done.
if you stay calm, then hopefully, she will learn to stay calm. if you try to see her side then it will help in communicating together.

also, discuss this at your next pediatrician visit. if you don't have one coming up, then make an appointment. there could be other factors at work too, like an anger disorder. i doubt it, but i don't know you or your child, so you can never rule anything out!

take care.

Answer 2

If you cater to her wants by responding to her screams and fits, then she will learn that she gets what she wants by pitching a fit. At 23 months, what is there to really argue about? The kid pitches a fit and you remove her from whatever situation or item caused the fit.

You say, when she gets into trouble, she gets really mad. Honestly, does anyone like to be chastised, yelled at, or told they're wrong? NO! Think about HOW you're scolding. Are you raising your voice, are you using accusatory words? Instead of "No, don't throw toys!" Say soothingly, "Now honey, we don't throw toys, right?" If they don't stop what they are doing, just remove them, put her somewhere safe like a crib with lots of pillows.

Don't use a mean tone of voice or raise your voice around a 2 year old. Just state it matter of factly. If she pitches a fit, you're stronger than she is. Restrain her, take her hands, and hold them in yours, make eye-contact, say something positive, like, "can you be a good girl for mommy?" Don't yell at her for what she's doing. Say, "Mommy doesn't like to see you hurting yourself, you're making boo-boos." Obviously it's frustrating for you, but it's frustrating for her, she doesn't have the language skills to explain to you what exactly is bothering her, and why. She has no reasoning skills! Offer up solutions, "what do you need?" "How can mommy help you?" List things that might make her fell better. "Do you want a hug?" "Do you want some water?" "Do you need to go potty?" Even if she can't say these things, she can let you know which one she needs. Don't fall into the bribery routine though, if the baby learns that fits get her treats, like juice, cookies, a favorite or new toy, that's really bad. The best cure for baby fits are mommy & daddy hugs and kisses. If she's really really hurting herself, then you need to see a pediatrician. They can help you rule out any illnesses that could cause discomfort and bring on irritablity and fits.

Answer 3

Ignore. She is trying to get to you and see what pushes your buttons. She is also trying to assert her independance. Toddlers hate to be told "no", but need you to set the boundaries. By ignoring the behaviors, you show her that the activity is not getting a rise out of you. If you continue to walk away as she throws a fit, she will see that throwing a fit will not get her anywhere. Calmly and firmly tell her that you will not listen to her while she is screaming, and walk away. Ignore all hitting, biting, etc. Children without an audience tend to stop fits because there is no one to get a reaction from.

Answer 4

My daughter used to slap herself on the head and in the face. She did it once and got her nose. Brought tears to her eyes and made her nose red for about an hour. She grew out of it shortly after that. It's a phase. Took her to her doctor about it, and he said that it is just frustration. Call your doc's office, ask to speak to the nurse, she'll give you the best advice.

Answer 5

My quickly to be 20 month previous daughter suggested approximately a hundred and ten words final time we counted and my chum's 19 month previous in basic terms says Mommy and Daddy. the two are completely conventional and healthful. each and each baby develops otherwise.

Answer 6

Some humans have quick tempers. Children often try to get thier way by throwing fits. I would just hug her, and try to ignore the show. Sometimes though, a child might be reacting to the
forceful sound of OUR voice. Take it easy.

Answer 7

When she starts this behavior try to devert her attention to something else. Its hard to give a punishment to a child that reacts this way. At 2 years they still don't understand what is happening to them and they react differently. I worked in a child abuse treatment center, and a lot of the children this age acted this way when they were corrected. You just have to get their minds on something else, then give them their punishment.

Answer 8

iVillage.com has a lot of information on dealing with temper tantrums in toddlers. Check out http://parenting.ivillage.com/tp/tpbehavior/topics/0,,4rv0,00.html for tons of advice from parenting experts and other parents on what to do when your daughter is having behavioral issues.

Good luck!

Answer 9

Put her in her room and shut the door. It will really make her mad when you do this, but you won't have to see her doing it and eventually she will stop. She is doing it for attention and probably senses you get upset when she does it.

Answer 10

let her. And ignore her pretty soon she will figure out biting and pinching and hair pulling hurts and will stop.