My friend has a little girl she is 2. She is cursing, screaming, hitting and when her mother tells her to do something she wont listen she has tried spankings putting her in the corner making her go to bed and the child does not have add or adhd. she is a terror child. what can she do. she will listen to everyone but her MOM.
2006-07-31 04:52:16 · 13 answers · asked by inluv 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I think the problem is her mom. She has probably tried those methods of discipline, but she probably did them at all the wrong times. The child does not listen to her mother, because she doesn't make her. You have seen it...a child is doing something the mother doesn't want ther to do. She says stop maybe 4 times and then decides to spank her. That lets the kid know, that she is in control. The mother should tell her to stop ONE TIME, and then whoop her butt. And that's everytime. My friend's daughter is the same way, she is a holy terror. My friend just let's her get away with different stuff, and then wonders why she is such a brat.
2006-07-31 04:58:04 · answer #1 · answered by Good Gushy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The child is learning by example. I'm sorry, but in my opinion, the child LEARNS this behavior somewhere, and it's most likely from her mother. If her mom is constantly screaming and cursing and hitting, that's what the child LEARNS. THAT is why she acts that way. Children learn what they live. That poor little girl needs some love and attention, GOOD attention, NOT just screaming, cursing and being hit. Her mother's expectations sound very unrealistic to me. What 2 year old listens the first time? NONE! It's a parent's job to TEACH their child to listen, and you can't expect a toddler to even completely comprehend that concept. A child that young doesn't understand that mommy means "Listen every single solitary time she speaks". Their comprehension for "vague" expamples like that are no where NEAR developed yet. If this mother wants to change her child's behavior, she needs to start with her own. It's only common sense to know that a child is going to model what they see. A child is a blank slate and their influenced the most by with whom they live and spend the most time with. What I did with my daughter at that age was get down to her level (eye level that is) and talk to her in SIMPLE terms. I'd tell her "no, we aren't doing that", or "please pick up those toys". If she didn't listen, I'd start picking up the toys and show her. If she still didn't listen, I'd put her in "big trouble" which is what we called "time out". I'd make her sit in a chair near the wall for 2 minutes. The very first times I did this, my daughter wouldn't sit there. I held her around the waist on the chair until she stopped crying. Once she did, I explained that she was in big trouble for (whatever). She did stay there, and I think it's b/c I held out and "forced" her to sit in the chair the first time. Since then, she's never tried to get off the chair. She still cries if she gets in big trouble, but she never moves off the chair.
Believe me, I know that a screaming 2 year old gets on a mother's very last nerve, and I know it's not easy. But we are the adults. WE need to have the patience. I'm not trying to berate your friend, I'm sure she's not intentionally doing these things to hurt her daughter, but she is doing it and needs to learn to stop. Maybe she should even seek counseling. Maybe she just needs a break once in a while if she doesn't get "alone time" often enough. I urge you to speak with her about this. It's nothing against her, and she certainly shouldn't feel guilty about it. A lot of moms go through this. I think she'll be pleasantly surprised to see how well behaved her little girl can be if she gets the right role-modeling from mom. I wish your friend luck.
2006-07-31 12:57:54 · answer #2 · answered by Marie K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is causing this behavior? Did it recently start or has it been going on for some time? Was there some kind of stressful incident that the child witnessed that started it?
Spanking isn't the answer. I think I'd consult a pediatrician or child care expert. What are other people doing so that the little girl listens to them and not the mom?
2006-07-31 04:59:12 · answer #3 · answered by 60s Chick 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is called "The Teribble Two" stage, and I hate to say it, but this stage lasts a long long time.....I have a 6 year old daughter, and a 17 month old son, and my daughter just got out of that stage anout a year ago. Tell your frined to stand her ground, and don't EVER give her daughter the satisfaction of winning a fight. It just makes things worse. Believe me! As far as the cursing goes, put a drop of liquid soap on your finger and wipe it in her mouth. This will eventually minimize the curseing....It may take some time. She won't like it at all, but it will work. When she hits, make sure your friend puts in some kind of "time-out". Try the cornor, or maybe putting her in her room for a bit and let her cry, kick and scream in there till she is calm. But ALWAYS comfort her after a punishment, and talk to her and make sure she understands why she is being punished, and that it is not right to act like that. I tell you, my daughter had me in tears every day for a few years, but I had to be tough on her. I know that it hurts to be tough on a LIL one but it has to be done..... It's the only way... Try takeing things away from her as well. The T.V., toys, dolls, favorite activities, outside time, ect..... Tell your friend good luck and be STRONG.....Very very Strong. Hope this helps somewhat.
2006-07-31 05:10:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no offense on your friend but first of all, look back to her actions, if her action of asking her 2 year old daughter is quite.. too many or in a "bad" way. then try to ask her nicely. if this doesn't work, try to have more relationship with the girl. Ask her very sweetly ( a cookie or candy if needed for a reward) but don't ask very much. 1 - 3 times are too many for her already. patience is the key.
First buy her presents, go out with her, or take her to an amusement park for example. Don't do this alot because then she'll ask for more. Do this a few times, then try to tell her that you are sorry, for example: " honey, i am sorry for asking you too much.. it's part of my fault, bad parenting i know. but i just want to be with you and you are such a pretty girl. But what can i do to make you happy then?" maybe the girl will answer, but just wait until your relationship with the girl is much more better, then ask her not to swear, in a sweet way. again, patience is the key. take it slowwwllyyy.
Part of child's actions are based on their parents'. Cursing is an example. When you had already have the girl with you, much closer than before, again, ask her not to swear because say that it is horrible! If needed, say scary things about it ( since she's only 2) that'll make her scared and never will to swear again.
hope it's useful for your friend
2006-07-31 05:11:24 · answer #5 · answered by Shiny, Shiny! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like mom needs to be MORE STERN. cursing screaming and hitting are all impressionate actions, she has had to see them to know them. mom needs to figure out were she is picking these habits up and SERIOUSLY enforce an acceptable action to stop it. take everything out of her ROOM but her bed and night light. when she is good and listens to her MOTHER, give a little back. . have quiet time with mom, she might just want attention. you cant really put a two yeat old in the corner, their memory isnt that long, when you lay down a punishment like that make sure to aske every two mins or so if they know why they are being punished. same as sending them to their room, make sure they know or remember why. or else it does no good.
2006-08-01 21:51:40 · answer #6 · answered by juicy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has she had the little girl tested for autism? The behaviour you're describing is exactly what I went through with my son (except for the cursing) and it took until he was 3 to find out he was autistic. Have her talk to her daughter's pediatrician.
Otherwise, I have to ask, does your friend conduct herself in much the same way? A child learns more from what they live than what they are told.
2006-07-31 07:08:17 · answer #7 · answered by Ken'sBabe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree that something has to be going on with the mom if that's the only person she acts up for. I also agree she should call supernanny or at least watch the show. Or maybe talk with the childs doctor to see if they can recommend anything or try family counseling.
2006-07-31 05:28:25 · answer #8 · answered by belle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seems this child had to learn this behavior somewhere. maybe mom is not being firm enough use the voice tones low for no and high tone for approve. and removal of toys and tv and such may help and reward for good things done... and the naughty spot or chair can help...maybe mom needs tips from those who the child does listen too?
2006-07-31 18:16:19 · answer #9 · answered by montanamom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
put here in her room for 15 minutes when she starts screaming and such and say ok when u can calm down u can come out be sure to keep time on this one my 15 month old gets into moods like that and i do that and he most of the time falls asleep and then he is fine later she might just have a wee bit of energy in her and doesnt know how to deal with it
2006-07-31 05:08:06 · answer #10 · answered by celtichearty2k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋