My husband is leaving for Iraq!!!?

Question

My husband is leaving for Iraq, he leaves for training this Friday! Don't know how long he will be at training, it depends on how many others are there with him! We find that out tomorrow! But he will be going to Iraq afterwards for 18 months! I don't know what to do!!! It's so scary, and everything and I'm trying to be strong for him, I just want to break down though!!!!! Anyone have advice on what I should do, how do I get by knowing he is there in that damn place!

Thanks all of you, with the responses! Yeah I'm moving Sept. 1st into the same building my mom and sisters live in! I just got it on Friday when I found out all of this too! So I'll have family! I also work 40 hours a week, and was thinking about joining the gym soon! Just stuff to keep me busy! I might even take a few night classes and stuff! I want to stay busy, and that may be the best thing! I've visted some of those sites too, they def. will help me!

Answer 1

First, let me tell you I feel for you. As a military wife myself, I understand the fear. Second, let me put it into perspective for you. If you consider that there have been about 2500 firearm related casualties in Iraq, out of an average of the 160,000 that are there from month to month, that gives an average of about 60 firearm related deaths 100000 soldiers per month. Washington DC, on the other hand, has 80.6 firearm related deaths per 100000 per month.
So it would actually be more dangerous for him in our nation's capital that it would be in Iraq.
As for support, are you involved with your FRG? If not, GET THAT WAY! Stay informed about what's going on, even though sometimes it's going to just about kill you. Have a job? If not, get one, especially if you don't have kids. That'll keep you busy, and give you less time to worry.
Most of all, remember that lots of people are praying for men like your husband, that he'll come home safe.
One of the best ways to focus is to count how many days have passed, not how many you have left. Another thing that always helps me when my husband is gone for extended amounts of time is saying to myself, "Okay, it's Monday. If I can make it to Wednesday without going nuts, I'll be okay." Then when I make to Wednesday, I see if I can make it to Friday. When I make it to Friday, see if I can make it to Sunday. And just keep going.
When he first leaves, it's not going to seem like he's REALLY gone. It may take a few days for it to hit you. When it does, it's okay to allow yourself to cry. But then, wipe your tears, and walk on. After awhile, you get used to him being gone...though you never really get used to the fear.
What you are facing is the same thing that many other wives have faced throughout history. You want to be strong, you want your husband to not worry about you, but going mad seems like a viable option as well.
Talk to him about it. Don't be afraid to tell him some of your fears. Tell him how badly you're going to miss him...but make sure he knows you'll be okay. Not great, but okay.
As I said before though, get involved with your FRG. There will be many other women facing the same thing you are, and you all can help each other through.
And...if you need someone to talk to, feel free to message me. If not, I'll still keep you and your husband in my thoughts and prayers.

Answer 2

You already seem to have a grat plaan and thats the attitude keep busy and time will go by fast. Yes its scary, my husband just got back and it was hard. We have two kids and he left right after i had the second one. At least you have your family, I didnt. Theres some things you cant control so either you worry crazy or not he will leave and he will be in that horrible place. I prayed, and prayed. Ask God for strenght to pull trough all of this and enjoy every minute you have with him.
Theres a lot of resources on post so get in contact with his units Family Readinness Group. That the people that know whats going on with the soldiers as far as when they are leaving or comming back, theyalso know when anything happens over there so definately keep in touckh with them. They meet everyonce in a while, they have teleconferences sometimes so youlll get to see him even fo five minutes is better than nothing. It depends from unt to unit bt they do fun stuff for the kids, they have classes and potlucks do all kinds of things . Give them a call and make sure they have your info since you kust move so they keep you informes of whast going on.Good luck to you and your family

Answer 3

My son went to Iraq once already & he's going a 2nd time this aug. He has a new wife and she lives too far from me, so the best thing I can tell you is to do alot of writing & send newspaper clippings & jokes & pictures, along with sweets for him to hand out to the children,along with care packages for the troops. Also KEEP busy, join a group in your area that are going through the same thing, and find a friend in that group that you can call day or night. Being alone is the hardest. I worked on a memory book and cut out clippings when I was alone. Don't expect alot of mail or e-mail he will be very busy even when he thinks of you 24/7. Be brave around him so he won't have to worry about you while he's gone,& be strong & brave in your letters. Have alot of faith in knowing that your husband is good at his job & keep the LORD in your heart always. When he's gone there's nothing wrong with having a good cry and letting your anger out--it does help, but don't do this too long --wipe your face, talk to a friend or family member --talking helps, and KEEP BUSY. I'll keep you and your husband in my prayers.I have said the same thing to my daughter-in-law. She is going back to school and working part time to keep busy and we do alot of texting to each other. I wish I could offer you more but nothing I say will stop you from being worried. So hang in there and reach out to others, sometimes helping others takes your mind off your own troubles. I hope I helped alittle. My name comes up as john but I'm a mom & grandma and I understand what you are feeling.

Answer 4

He'll only be in Iraq for about 11-12 months. The other six will be spent in training here in the States. Everybody freaks out about Iraq, as if getting sent there is some kind of death warrant. It's not. It sucks being over there for a year, but he will survive, and so will you. The best thing you can do is to support him in any way you can, and let him know that you're thinking about him every day. Don't fall prey to the naysayers and those who will use this as an opportunity to bash your country and hurt your feelings in the process. Stay strong, and I wish you both well!

Answer 5

Are you near a military installation? It does not matter if it's not his branch, they have programs that you will have access to help you cope. My husband is MO ANG so I know what you are going through a bit, try to join a yahoo group with other military wives from your area and plan to stay busy (I know not easy):) If you have children getting them involved at every step helps and make sure you take lots of pics and video (do it even if you don't). Try to remember that no news is not nessasarily bad, mail is really unreliable and slow. Also depending on where he is comp time maybe nil or very limited (congested with lots of others) other places he may have to pay for comp usage too. I know this is alot to digest and it's not for a happy conversation but I am being honest, it will be hard, BUT it will make you realize how strong you are as a woman and how strong your marriage can be. I will be praying for your family if that's alright with you. Most of all surround your self with friends and family that love and care for both of you.
Amanda

Answer 6

i know the feeling, it is soooo hard, harder than anything. ive been on both sides, ive been in the military and now im a military spouse and i can say, deployments are harder on the family members because you are surrounded with emptiness, lonliness, the soldier is always busy. now im not saying its not hard on the soldiers too, but its harder being a spouse. the best thing to do is first, if you need to cry, cry your heart out, it may make you feel a little better. and once he leaves, try to keep yourself busy to keep your mind off of things. if you have family in the area, spend lots of time with them, if you are far from your family, maybe go make a visit, you need support right now. and be glad, because the technology has gotten much better in iraq, communication is a lot easier now than it was before, so you wont have to go months without talking to him. he may even be able to get a cell phone so you can call him. my husband had one, it was the best thing ever cause if i ever heard something on the news, i could call him to make sure he was okay. just try to stay strong, both of you will get through this.

Answer 7

Ok don't think of all the bad things. It will just make things worse. Put that in the back of your head. Make sure when he leaves you find something to keep your mind off things. Or you will go insane. Do things you like doing. The first month will be the hardest. Keep in conntect with the other wives in his unit. They will be a lot of help to you. They also know how you feel. Just remember to stay strong and write him happy letters. Being a military wife is a very tough job. So good luck to you and to your husband.

Answer 8

First off i would like to say dont worry too much, even thought i am sure you will. I have been in the army since 2000 and i have been to war 4 times now. I first went to bosnia then afghanistan then iraq and then iraq again! You cant really do alot about it, just ask my wife. My advice is that you be strong for him. He is the one who is probably worring more than you are. He need to go over with his head in the game and not be worring about you.

He will be able to contact you as soon as he arrives. They now have phone centers set up and computers to access., so comm8unication should be no problem. If you have any further questions email me at [e-mail]

Answer 9

I'm sorry your husband made the rotten choice to join any military controlled by the idiot currently sitting in The White House. He is now stuck with that decision and so are you. The best thing to do is keep as close a contact with him as possible because he will need that and hope for the best. It is sad that Bush doesn't care about the troops because they aren't rich, but that is the way in Neo-con America.

Answer 10

((((((((HUGGZ)))))))) understand the fear u r going thru. My hubby is air force reserves and has already been told he could be leaving in Jan if not sooner maybe for 6 months. It's hard. He was in Saudia for 3 months in 92. You pray, write letters send emails. I put love notes all thru his bible, made him a photo album of us and our pets things that he would like. I kept as busy as I could. The nights were the worst I cried many tears. I also sent him care packages of his favorite things. He could call me sometimes it was 3 am my time but I didn't care just to hear his voice was awesome.
will be praying for u both if u want to talk send me an email [e-mail]

Answer 11

First, I would hope you tell him how proud of him you are. He chose a very noble proffession. He will be in a country that was a lot like Nazi Germany before WWII. He is helping a country who had a murderous leader transfer from that form of "government to a government very similar to ours. God Bless Him! He is giving people freedom, and teaching them to protect and take charge of their own country.

Second-be proud yourself! He is willing to go and serve his country, protecting us from terrorism. He chose his carreer-many others are cowards who never join the military. Others join to get what they can from the system (similar to welfare). They join, knowing that a part of the military is the possibility of going to war. They cry, try to get out of doing the job they signed up for. Those idiots.

God Bless your man! Stand strong, be supportive and admire him! And thank him for a job well done when he gets back!