I am in a debate that I need opinions on. My 8 year old tends to realize she has to go to the restroom about half-way thru a meal. Her father thinks it's rude and denys her permission. I think that's crazy and unnecessarily tortureous to the child, and as long as the request to be excused is polite, I see no problem with allowing somebody to leave the table to go to the bathroom so they can relax and enjoy the rest of the meal.
2006-07-31 04:38:53 · 80 answers · asked by Arlene06 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
She should be allowed to go, although maybe you could ask her if she needs to go just before the meal. Children should not be made to "hold it" when there is no reason for it. He sounds like he has some kind of problem being a control freak, more than she is being rude.
2006-07-31 04:42:37 · answer #1 · answered by Jennifer L 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It's a critical issue in one way because it would be cruel to force the child to wait until the meals are finished, but at the same time, running to bathroom at the middle of the meals is also awkward and considered us bad manners.
The best thing to do is to avoid this situation. If the parent confirms that the child does that chore before going for meals, it would help. There wont be a situation like that any more, as the need to go to bathroom is not an instantaneous activity. They can finish that thing before meals and end this problem :-)
Good luck. Bye
2006-07-31 04:46:36 · answer #2 · answered by rahulthesweet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry it's a natural thing, it's not rude it's nature calling. When i was about that age i used to do that too but now i don't it'll change while he grows. What is wrong is not let him go to the restroom. If he ask in a polite way there shouldn't be any problem. But maybe it's better that he stands up and goes to the restroom without saying anything and then returns because it's nasty that a boy says in the middle of the meal i want to ... you know.
2006-07-31 04:45:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anne Greco 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not rude. However, if it happens every single time, I'll be annoyed too. Maybe have the kids go to restroom prior to the meal. Or drink a full glass of water half an hour before the meal.
And how long is the meal anyway? If the meal is 3 hrs, then yeah that's the problem.
2006-07-31 04:48:05 · answer #4 · answered by Curiosilly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have already answered it. As long as the request is polite there is no need to make the child suffer through dinner if she has to go. You should sit down and talk to the father about his behavior. Find out why he has such a problem with the daughter using the restroom during dinner. If the daughters behavior is causing an argument between the two of you she may be doing it for attention. If that's the case, talk to her and maybe remind her to go before you sit down to dinner.
2006-07-31 04:45:30 · answer #5 · answered by sugermagnolia26 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While I don't think there is anything wrong with excusing yourself politely from the table to go to the bathroom, it is apparently an issue with your husband. From the tone of your question, it seems that your daughter does this quite often. Maybe you can remind her before to dinner to take care of the bathroom issue. Just make it a daily reminder: "Honey, why don't you run to the bathroom and wash up for dinner?" You might also take her aside the first couple of times and ask her to try to "go" while she's in there so that the scene at the dinner table doesn't happen.
2006-07-31 04:45:07 · answer #6 · answered by Tia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not rude...however, if it is every meal then you need to have her go before the meal. She may be spitting out food to avoid eating it...possible sign of other problems. Otherwise if she goes before the meal, your husband's happy and the child should be fine, you all can enjoy your meal and good digestion takes place. If she goes before and still needs to excuse herself to go...she may have a real physical problem...get her to a doctor. While it's true a child's bladder is smaller than an adult, if she voids before the meal, there is no reason she can't wait 30-40 minutes until after the meal unless she has a physical problem. Check it out. Good luck!
2006-08-01 04:48:15 · answer #7 · answered by jkskeet@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, I believe it is NOT rude for a child to excuse themself to go to the bathroom. This is of course trusting that the child is not dilly-dallying and trying to get away from the table for lack of interest in the meal, or for whatever the reason. (taking their veggies and flushing them down the toilet)
If a parent notices this behavior becomes common practice during a meal, (as your husband seems to have tracked) then monitoring the child's activity while away from the table may be helpful to understand their need to be excused.
To a young child, they may believe that they are in need of the restroom, and at specific times - however - this is because the child gets used to their own personal agenda (does this seem absurb - wait I'm not done) and thinks this is okay. Parents who do not understand, may suspect the worse and attempt to 'control' the child's movement. By doing so, this may cause pshycological damage and can upset the balance of a child's need to use the facilitiy. This may be whether or not the child is at home, seated at the dinner table, or even in school listening to a class lecture. Any kind of notion that the child may get for a 'natural behavior' (such as restroom breaks) as being unnacceptable may cause the child to 'hold it' until an accident happens or more permanent damage may occur. Your husband wants to be careful he does not send your child down this path.
To alleviate your husband's concerns, may I suggest that you speak to your child prior to meals and suggest they use the restroom first. Explain to the child that you 'enjoy their company at the table' and that by them using the restroom first will help them to remain at the table during the meal.
I hope this helps.
2006-07-31 05:05:41 · answer #8 · answered by bga 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Our children know that they are supposed to go to the bathroom before they sit down to eat. If they choose not to then they have to wait until they are finished eating. It may not be such a big thing at home, but we are trying to teach our children how to behave in polite society and at other persons home and excusing yourself in the middle of a meal to go to the bathroom is rude. If you were at a dinner party and didn't know your hosts/hostess very well would you excuse yourself to the restroom in the middle of dinner?
2006-07-31 15:17:05 · answer #9 · answered by Mollywobbles 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm with you. If my child has to go to the bathroom in the middle of the meal, they are more than welcome to go. If I have to go to the bathroom in the middle of a meal, I don't wait till I'm done eating so why should they. However, I do have a 7 yr old daughter who consistently had to use the bathroom at every single meal. I started making her go before she sat down to eat and the problem has become much smaller.
2006-08-01 05:50:36 · answer #10 · answered by J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋