Guilt, sex and religion????

Question

Hey, i dont know if ani other girlz get this but everytime i have sex with my boyfriend i feel incredibly guilty after words and worry. My boyfriend lives in a different country and comes over every few months, ive only had sex with him 2ce. 2nd time was last night in his hotel room. I am meant to be a strikt catholic so i lie to my parents when i see him. My father is suspicious and i feel i gotta tell him but i know he will throw me out the house like my brother,. I never used contraception too because as i said im meant to b catholic. Please help, he want to see me tonite.

Answer 1

You will get pregnant from not using birth control.
use a condom to protect yourself.
you feel guilty because you are lying to your parents.
that is normal.
you know what you are doing is wrong.
you should stop seeing the boyfriend but if you can't be sure to take condoms with you or you will have a bigger problem with your dad when you get pregnant.

Answer 2

OOops. If you have sex with your boyfriend, at least use a condom. I mean, if you get pregnant, you father may still run you out of the house, and that will be doubly hard, on your and your child.

How old are you? If you are of age... perhaps it would be easier if you tell your parents (i.e., stop lying, at least), and then try to make it on your own. If not... :( tough.

I mean, the deed is done. You can hope for forgiveness and absolution, and you can get neither by concealment.

Do you and your boyfriend intend to marry? If so... tell your parents afterwards. I don't know; I don't understand the whole abstenation thing for young people who are mature enough to know what they are doing. But I think safe sex (WITH a condom, that is) _is_ the sign that you know what you are doing... which you haven't demonstrated... Not to criticise you, you have done what you have done, and it cannot be undone. Do try to behave more responsibly next time?

In the end, the love of true faith can forgive anything, and it should be able to forgive a deed done in love and with love best of all.

Answer 3

Does he know that ur catholic? you should really use protection know ur catholic but what does the pope know about having sex?? you don't know what hes got and you dont want to end up with an std, hiv or pregnant!!!!!then ur parents would really know what u've been doing. You feel like you have to tell ur dad because he makes u feel guilty and makes u think that sex is bad, trust me he wont throw u out of the house, he prob just says that so u wont have sex. You worry because u dont want ur parents to find out, your obv not a strict catholic as you wouldnt have slept with him twice, just try talking to your bf about this, he may be able to help, living in different countries can help the situation either as every time u see him your going to think about sex and how wrong it is, just talk to someone u can trust about this.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Are you crazy? do you want to get pregnant? or would you prefer STIs? Sorry. We'll if you parents are going to throw you out that will be no good for anyone but I would still suggest you tell them its not worth it lying to them. They have invested so much in you and do not deserve what is being done to them. They are you parents and as you are female they may be more reluctant to chuck you out.

As for you sleeping with your boyfriend, you say you are meant to be a strict catholic but you obviously aren't. I say figure out what you believe in first before you continue doing this. If your are not using contraception you run a high risk of getting STIs and not only that getting pregnant.

Think, is it fair to bring a child into this world at the stage and state you are in? You can't pick and choose what you believe like that, if your going to commit the bigger sin of having sex might as well use contraceptives, than have to face the greater one of abortion. Though you probably trust you boyfriend, but as he lives in a different country and you only see him every few month you have more to be unsure about than most.

Though it is your choice about whether you have sex or not it has consequences which could affect others live e.g. if/when you get pregnant. I advise you think thoroughly about this.

Answer 5

If you went ahead and did it and are know lying about it, I dont really think you're sorry for what you did. I think you're just trying to find a way to keep on having sex with out this guilt. And use protection the next time if there is a next time and dont use the exuse "i was meant to be a strict catholic" cause if you were really living out your faith you would be waiting to get married. And plus, you would be in a far worse place with your folks if you just out of nowhere showed up with an STD or pregnant (assuming you wouldn't abort it cause of you being catholic) to their doorstep. They would be even more heart-broken/shocked then just the sex alone. Hope I helped...

Answer 6

It's a tough one.I think, though, if you're going to break the rules and have sex, you need to break the rules and use a condom. This will protect you from disease as well as pregnancy. If you feel you can't use birth control because of your religion, then I think you need to stop having sex for the same reason.

Telling your father is a bit iffy. I'm not sure why you would want to do that, especially if you're so sure he'll kick you out.

Answer 7

STOP.
Don't continue doing what you're doing because it's wrong and you know it's wrong otherwise it wouldn't be in the back of your head and you wouldn't feel so guilty.
God put that guilt in your head to let you know what he thinks about what your doing.
If God didn't care, he'd let you have a free ride and go on doing what ur doing without a single thought.
He does care and he's telling you to stop.
And it's not gonna be easy, but hopefully you do the right thing and listen to what I'm saying and believe that what I'm saying is not only true, but right.......

Answer 8

You have to make a decision. Do you want to be a strict Catholic or do you want to have sex. I am a former Catholic and it never stopped me from utilizing birth control or having fun with the female partner at the time. In fact I wouldn't date a girl if it was a sexless relationship, that is like negotiating for a house you are not allowed to look at or inspect, but they still want you to buy the house.

Answer 9

talk to your boyfriend about your religious beliefs and how you feel about sex. if you do want to continue having sex with him then use protection and you both need to go and get checked out to make sure that you haven't already picked anything up and aren't pregnant, the number of times isn't an issue, the fact is you had unprotected sex and have to deal with the potential consequences. if you don't want to continue having sex then tell him, if he drops you over it, then is he really worth staying with? you will find someone who respects your beliefs and values you for them.
if you feel guilty about lying to your parents then maybe start introducing the truth gradually, start off by telling them that you have a boyfriend and see their reaction, from that you'll be able to tell how much else you want to share with them.
good luck

Answer 10

Wow it looks like you have your hands full. I know how you feel becuase i too come from a catholic family. i wouldn't say they are strict to the point wherer they will throw me out...but they def. believe in waiting for marriage to do the deed. I think you have to just tell your boyfriend to cool it for awhile. ask him to give u some time to get ur thoughts together and then explain to your mom or dad whichever you trust the most about how you've been feeling. You have to tell them eventually i mean you can't keep it a secret forever because then you have to live with that guilt...and that isn't healthy. explain to them that you are keeping it safe (if you are) and let them know that you trust this boy and if you can see yourself with him in the future as a husband or what not let them know that. Trust me if they are as strict catholics as you say they are then they will know that forgiveness is the key. go to reconciliation. maybe that can help clear your head. but you have to tell somebody ....you can't just keep it bottled up inside! trust me it's healthy to let it out. you can email me anytime if you wanna talk somemore.....click on my avatar and then click the contact me button....i check my mail very often...so please don't hesitate to talk to me or get ur feelings off your chest!
--Best of Luck and I hope this helps! =)

Answer 11

super question. it is not organic for individuals to have guilt and shame if that they had consensual intercourse that became fairly pleasant for the two human beings in contact and ought to no longer harm every person else (ie they are not married, relationship, etc.) i do no longer think of that all and sundry likes speaking brazenly approximately intercourse yet that may not like feeling to blame or ashamed. This shamefulness isn't completely based upon faith yet additionally upon upbringing, lifestyle, etc. there are various Christians who're extra open approximately sexuality than atheists so it relies upon. yet there are some people who're ashamed via it with the aid of fact of their faith and that should get replaced. Many Christians push themselves to experience shame and guilt so as that they'd refrain from having intercourse before marriage. in the event that they think of of intercourse as pleasant and exquisite yet in basic terms for marriage then it is fairly troublesome to attend so they think of of it as disgusting and evil with a view to have the skill to watch for marriage and it could mess with their minds.