How come it seems as if people dont have manners any more?

Question

I mean, simple things like holding the door for someone or helping the elderly cross streets.Or Heavens forbid,letting someone in front of you on a line.

Answer 1

Consider the evolution of our society in the past 100 years. There was a time when people felt an intrinsic value in “belonging” to a collective. That could mean a small town, a neighborhood, among your co-workers etc. Since the information age, people have progressively been introduced to the idea that you really never need to interact with anyone personally if you do not desire to do so. You can simply write an email, text message or leave a voice mail. In addition, you can entertain yourself by playing among others on-line, but under the guise of a character or several other anonymous avenues. I think it is an evolution of interpersonal communication that the majority of people now communicate with others, on those rare occasions they do, in ways that they would have never done in the past. It’s ok to be less than polite because, what do you care; you will never see them again anyway. I don’t need to say hello to my neighbor because I do not need to ever rely upon them for anything and, frankly, I have my own make-believe world of friends on-line that I associate with. I don’t need to be helpful and provide real service where I work because, in large part, people will accept my horrible customer service without complaint because they too are on their way home to immerse themselves in an electronic interaction of some kind.

Society in the Unites States has, unfortunately, become incredibly self-centered. People, for the most part, are all about number one---themselves. Not only is it tolerated to be rude, one nearly feels compelled to project the same thing back as it has become the norm. How many times do we hear “You don’t know me, don’t you judge me” or another similar statement which somehow says that simply doing what-ever you want, without regard to others around you, is not only acceptable but should be looked at as a positive attribute! Wow………….it’s really sad. I’m afraid the only place this can be changed is in the home. I am equally afraid that there are less and less parents with the patience, understanding and motivation to raise their children in a way that fosters and promotes manners and decorum when it’s just plain easier to let them conform to the rest of the crowd.

Answer 2

There are some great answers for this!
It all starts in how you are raised. Children learn by the parents. When parents aren't around to teach such etiquette, the children aren't going to learn it.
All I can tell you is to keep up your end and people do see and learn - there are still quite a few that display kindness. I, like the others, make a conscious effort to teach my boys that ladies go first, wait your turn, please, thank you, may I, etc. They (at 3 and 5 years old) are catching on. It is a constant learning thing. Their dad is a gentleman - that's one of the things that attracted me to him.
Believe it or not, the south still has an abundance of chivalry!

Answer 3

Isn't it amazing. Here's my theory, and I'll probably get ripped, but it may have started with the Feminists movement. I used to think I was one. But I am not. I am a radical thinker. Women used to be cherished, and while we are taught now to "bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, etc." we never expected it to back fire, now, no one is home to teach little Johnny how to treat a woman. Because after all we are equal now. We can open our own doors, thank you. And, we are expected to do all sorts of things for ourselves. It has changed us into a "Hurray for me, screw you" society. I live in a small town. I have four children all of whom were taught to say (I know it's crazy) "Please and Thank you" they were the only ones in their school to say these two simple words to the ladies in the lunch line. Not only that, they chew w/their mouths closed, know whch fork to use if more than one is presented, and they hold doors open for people. Even, and especially, old people who deserve respect simply because they have lived longer. You can't change the world, for some people were raised to be selfish, but you can change the way you do things, how you treat people, and teach your children to treat people with respect, then you can be proud when the luch lady says,"Oh, your kids are the nicest children, it makes us smile when they come through the line."

Answer 4

Somewhere around the time we were able to access 1000 channels of TV and walk and talk on the phone constantly, manners started to take a steep drop! I try to use manners whenever possible and my son knows to hold the door, pull out the chair, use please and thank you (and mean it!), give up a seat for an elderly person, etc.; and it's nothing that I wouldn't ask of myself....what goes around comes around...

Answer 5

It really matters not if "people" don't display manners; what matters is that YOU do.

The greatest influence on my own (admitted imperfect) sense of politeness and chivalry has been witnessing it in others. Set a good example and you'll have far greater impact than just whining about it (which, in effect, is bad manners).

Answer 6

A lot of people are in too big a hurry to have a moment's thought about a fellow human being.

Answer 7

well, I qbelieve that the new generation was not raised the way the parents or grand partens where. We are just not tought to be so strickt mannered as those days... respect get's unknown... :(

Answer 8

I totally agree. People have become so rude (I live in NYC, so i guess I should just accept it) but everytime I encounter such people I just remind myself that I will bring up my children to be better people.

Answer 9

No one is considerate anymore. It's all about "me first" in this society.
Manners are a rarity these days.

Answer 10

Yeah, and while we are at it, what is up with these people making sweeping generalizations about the world?