Here is my story: I am in love with a guy, James, that I lived with in Fort Luaderdale for a year...I moved to Tennessee to go to get my masters degree and he stayed becasue he is taking over the family business in Florida. Well, originally we decided that we were should take some time away from each other and now we both miss each other. In the mean time, I thought we wouldn't ever get back together and now I live with a close friend of mine that is a guy, Rex, and he recently said that he is in love with me. I told him I was ATTRACTED to him--which I am in a way, but I have 10 months on a lease with him and now I don't know what to do. I like him and want to keep him as a friend, but I also don't want it to be an awkward 10 months. And to make things worse, James wants tme to fly down in a few days to see him. The thing is Rex is a successful man and extremely thoughful and considerate...he really is a good catch, but my heart is still with James. What would you do? Thanks!!
2006-07-31 03:29:34 · 10 answers · asked by jrhod263 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think the choice is clear, you have to go where your heart is. You can get a masters degree in flordia, or still in Tennessee, break your lease. Are you involved with rex right now? I would distance yourself from REX as soon as is humanly possible for a couple of reasons.
1. you cannot be friends with him if he wants more, it is almost impossible particularly if you are having feelings for him, it will only cause more confusion and pain later down the road, good catch or not.
2. Isn't james a good catch? taking over the family business is not dishonorable, it isn't less of an achievement than anything else, in fact one might argue that it is harder to take over a business because you have to run it successfully, and you have an obligation to those who came before you to do better than they did.
3. it is going to be awkward, at best, and at worst it will be heartbreaking for all involved.
4. It isn't fair to Rex, if he is looking to settle down and start somthing permanent with sombody, and your heart belongs to sombody else then GET OUT, it isn't fair to him.
5. It isn't fair to you, you deserve a man who is going to treat you with dignity and respect, and sombody who holds your heart. Rex sounds like he has 2 of these but it sounds like james has all 3.
6. It isn't fair to James, he deserves to be the only man in your life, if he loves you and treats you well, and you love him and treat him well.
It sounds like your main reason for wanting to be with Rex, is that he is succcessful, in a way that perhaps you don't percieve james as being? What I mean is, you think (in my opinion) that Rex is intrisically worth more than James, because Rex has accomplished more on his own than James?
I think that it is wrong headed to consider those things as the most important. Let's be real if you get a master's degree you COULD make a living for both you and james even if he wasn't a businessman. Are you wrapped up in the image? Rex is a self-made man while James was born into his vocation? If that is the case that is a pretty poor reason, and listening to that line of thought will not only NOT profit you, but it will put you into a relationship with a man whom you do not love.
These are only my impressions of what you wrote, I am not accusing you of anything, but it seems to me that James is clearly the superior choice because as you said, your heart still is with him. You deserve to be happy with a man who you love. James deserves to be happy with a woman who loves him, and so does Rex, and atleast for Rex, that isn't you. Do the right thing for all your sakes.
Good luck sweetie, and I hope this helps.
Do me a favor, drop me a line and let me know how this works out, if you want to talk about this more I would be happy to listen or if you want to cuss me out for giving you advice you don't like, that is fine too.
2006-07-31 03:48:24 · answer #1 · answered by Teclis98 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love someone, you should be with that person. Love is something people take for granted. Be with James, but at the same time respect Rex's feelings. Let him know that you don't love him but you do enjoy his company. Don't make a mistake by throwing away a perfectly good love because you are only ATTRACTED to someone else. It's not worth it.
2006-07-31 03:37:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to follow your heart. I think it is clear your heart is with James. Do not try to start anything with Rex just because of your living situation. You need to be honest with him because if you lie and act like he is "the one" you will not be able to keep this act up for 10 months. He will find out and then things will be REALLY AWKWARD in the house. Before things get too deep tell him how you feel about James. You need to be honest with yourself and with yourself and everyone else.
2006-07-31 03:50:14 · answer #3 · answered by strawberries 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm rather no longer amazed your feeling this fashion, it's completely traditional to suppose this fashion. The factor is You were not disappointed approximately the get a divorce four months in the past when you consider that you notion he used to be as beautiful as you have been. Now he is in general received his eye on any one else (sorry simply regularly why men hassle hitting the health club both that or they have to shed kilos), and now he appears higher than ever (to your eyes). The reality is you in general have been taken by way of shock by way of how well he appears now, and your no longer thoroughly over him that is all. Hope this is helping
2016-08-28 15:12:06 · answer #4 · answered by stufflebeam 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell rex you do not like him as more than a friend and go see James
2006-07-31 03:46:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if ur heart's still with James then leave Rex alone. My heart's with My James, still. we're all in this together.
2006-07-31 03:33:54 · answer #6 · answered by v.ballerr <3 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u realy sound very confused but i wonder why. i will tell u a few home truths.how can u be in lov wit a guy and stil tink of cheating him?how can u say u luv a guy and stil go ahead 2 live wut another guy no matter how close ur friendship? if he is successful and considerate,sSO WHAT?are u saying ur guy is not.wat do u expect?dat he'l be a failure and thotless?
my dear i'l advice u 2 get out of that house fast and get ur own house b4 ur bf comse and sees u there.dat is anyway if u really luv him as u claim.dis other guy is goin 2 use u and dump u,mark my words
2006-07-31 03:48:19 · answer #7 · answered by babygal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you did mess up with saying you where atracted to rex. but with him what you are saying is that you want to be with rex for his money. what i mean by that is you sayed he is sucssesful and you didn't say anything like that about james. what you should do is follow your heart and not the money.
2006-07-31 03:38:56 · answer #8 · answered by heavenwithchrist 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey will you give up your family for a man you just met, because he is giving you accomondation. Remember family stick together. Don't forget about James in florida.
2006-07-31 03:37:01 · answer #9 · answered by problemsolver86 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
James, James, James...u love him??? Than what you're waiting for???
'
2006-07-31 03:35:55 · answer #10 · answered by Taste the rainbow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋