Currently my brother is living with me and my family going on two months now. This past weekend I babysat for him and his wife both on Friday and Saturday night, overnight. Because of the time they get off work and get home, my sister-in-law stayed Friday night as well. Saturday I had her babysit for me as I had to work (only for 4 hours). After returning home I went into my bedroom and noticed my closet door was closed which I found odd. After they left for work I noticed my deodorant was missing and found it in the 2nd bathroom. It also appeared as though my sister-in-law used my shower. I was pissed and asked my brother about it. She denies using my shower but says she used the deodorant because she didn't have any of her things with her. Well, this morning as I'm getting ready for work, upon opening my jewlery box I notice my thick gold necklace is missing. My gut instinct tells me that my sister-in-law took it. I'm enraged. I already have a plan but suggestions would be nice.
2006-07-31 03:27:42 · 16 answers · asked by purpleama456 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Yes, only my brother is staying with me. My sister-in-law was only there Friday and Saturday night with her kids. I plan on telling my brother about it because I know he didn't take it and I know I can trust him to keep an eye out for her to be wearing it as I know she won't wear it in front of me, at least not for a while. I know if I ask her, she'll blame my brother right off the bat whereas his reaction will be to tell me that he didn't take it and he doesn't want me to think he did. The way I see it, the guilty person will blame the other
2006-07-31 03:53:56 · update #1
Remain calm...
If you're angry she'll just deny, it's a normal reaction.
Just go right to her and play dumb, "ah, I noticed my necklace was missing, do you know if one of the kids was in my jewelery box or what happened to it?"
Outright blaming, not so good, makes for bad blood amung familly,
2006-07-31 03:33:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Ask if anyone borrowed it. If she denies it, search the house for it. Let everyone in the household know that it is missing and you have searched the house. Tell them if anyone borrowed it but doesn't want to fess up you will give a 24 hour grace period and if it rematerializes you won't take further action but if it does not materialize you will notify the police and evict your brother.
Remember that if you angrily confront someone they're going to lie to you. Give the suspect every chance to admit the theft.
You could also get a different piece of alluring jewelry (fake) with a homing device planted on it. Then when it eventually diappears take out the homing tracer and it will point right to the thief.
2006-07-31 10:33:16 · answer #2 · answered by Joker 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down with sister-in-law alone, no brother involved, and talk to her about what is missing. She will probably deny it. Tell her in no uncertain terms that if you don't have it back in 48 hours (through the brother) you will report it stolen and give the police names of suspects. That way she will have to cough it up to your brother (which will make him realize that she steals) and you keep it in the family. You're giving her an opportunity to undo a wrong here. For you, put away your things so no one can take them. Don't be surprised if she doesn't have it. It was probably hocked....who knows? People do strange things to family members when they are on drugs or if they have a mental problem.
2006-07-31 10:41:49 · answer #3 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is time for them to go. You were nice by opening up your home to allow them to stay there but now you are being taken advantage of. If it were me, even with something as simple as the deodorant, I would have said, "Hey SIL, I didn't have my deodorant with me so I borrowed yours this morning." Instead of saying nothing at all. Who knows what else is missing that you are not aware of or what could take a walk in the future if you don't shut this down now. Good luck!
2006-07-31 10:35:44 · answer #4 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your brother's whole family staying with you? or just him? (PLEASE!! tell me it's just him...)
"Hey, Sis-in-law, have you seen my necklace?" give her one last chance to come clean.
One of 3 things will happen.
a) she'll get all pissy/defensive. "You think I stole it!!...(name-calling, etc)" She probably did take it. Whether it was a borrow-w/o-permission or steal, the only difference is whether she intended to return it or not. Tell her that if she did borrow (benfit of doubt), she needs to return it and ask next time (and hope she never asks!!).
b) she'll cover-up. "Oh, that's right. I borrowed it the other day- I'm sooo sorry- I forgot to get it back to you." Again, she may be covering up an intended perma-borrow (steal, see if you notice, hope you don't). Ask her to return it, ask next time (and hope she never asks!!).
c) out-right lie. "I have no idea what you're talking about..." Chalk it up to experience, and don't have her in your home without you there.
I see B and C as most likely. But no matter what her response was, I still wouldn't want her in my house.... keep her supervised when she's in your home!
2006-07-31 10:45:36 · answer #5 · answered by Yoda's Duck 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To avoid a huge drama scene, I would ask her nicely before loosing my temper. Also make it very clear that you don't like her using your personal things. If she can't respect that, then I would tell them both that the arrangement isn't working out and that they need to make plans on staying elsewhere. Hopefully you will find a solution without an ugly situation. Good luck!
2006-07-31 10:35:33 · answer #6 · answered by onewikkedwoman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just have a family meeting and confront her. Tell them you opened your home, but with things going missing, your worried. It is likely they will respond in anger and denial. And that you won't trust them again. The only upside in this is that they will probably be angry enough to move. I would also install a lock on my bedroom door A.S.A.P.
2006-07-31 10:33:03 · answer #7 · answered by Hippie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One day say to her that you are going out for some time and keep your necklace or perfume in open and do not go out side hide in your house with a camera. take a photograph immediately when she is caught red handed, then show to your brother and her parents too. It is advisble to use Camera mobile.
2006-07-31 10:36:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Discuss this with your brother and ask him to return you as his wife may have done it and sold it or may deny from doing it as she have used ur deodrant and agreed when u asked her only .she did not herself told you that she have used it . so clear the things very fast and beware of your sister-in-law as you may face lot of problem like this in future if she have the habit of using others things without permission .If possible lock your room and before going for work when they are in house.All the Best.
2006-07-31 10:37:12 · answer #9 · answered by naina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them if you don't get the necklace back and a complete admission and apology, they must move out immediately or you'll call the police.
2006-07-31 10:31:53 · answer #10 · answered by love2travel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋