im sorry to hear that....you should ask them whats going on and if they have a problem with you or your kids they should tell you!
2006-07-31 03:25:20
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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Hard as it may be, I'm sure you're aware that you are going to need to leave your inlaws home at some point and start over again. It was very good of them to give you a place to stay during a very tragic point in your life, but you may want to start making some plans for your future. They may not have meant their invitation to be a permanent solution to your living arrangements.
The issue may be that they do not see you as leaving (or planning to) any time soon. Having you and your kids in their home, even if you're welcome there, must put some type of strain on their relationship in some way. If it is at all possible for you to go, you may want to consider doing that before you put them in the uncomfortable and very awkward position of having to ask you what your plans are. If you are not able (financially or emotionally) to go yet, maybe you could start figuring out how you will accomplish this and ask them for some advice. If they at least know you are trying to make some near future plans, they probably will relax a bit.
I'm sorry about your loss. Take care
2006-07-31 10:36:15
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answer #2
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answered by Avid 5
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I am not trying to be rude, but I noticed that you haven't put how long ago your husband died (I am very sorry) or how old/how many children you have. This means you did not tell how long you have been living with them, how many people you brought into their house, or how big their house is. Are you taking it all up?
I would assume that if it is getting weird, then you have outstayed your welcome. I am sure they wanted to help in the beginning, but they figured it wouldn't be too long. They probably don't want to mention it because they are too nice and caring to want to hurt your feelings. They don't know what it is like to lose a spouse, but they lost a brother too. They want to do right by their brother, but not at the expense of losing their sanity and family life.
You really need to move out. Find a place to go and start picking up the pieces of your life.
Good Luck.
2006-07-31 11:13:35
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answer #3
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answered by chemrose 3
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Regardless if family or not, house guest are like fish and they begin to stink after a couple of days. More than likely, your BIL and his wife just want their lives back to normal. You didn't say if your kids are wild and crazy or if you help out with the chores or simply view yourself as a permanent guest and seldom lift a finger to help.
There are to many variable to even guess what is causing your BIL and wife to be dissatisfied with the living arrangements. You could call for a family meeting and ask, but you will probably just disagree and get angry. They probably want to help you, but at the same time, they know that you need to stand on your own feet. The bottom line is that you are apparently unwelcome so find a place to live.
2006-07-31 10:31:38
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answer #4
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answered by Free Bird 4
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You should be glad for the help you have received. You obviously are a problem and dont see it.You can tell alot by what people say first in an issue , and what they leave out . Thats what it means when you are living under somebody elses roof and their looking for you another place to live.
2006-07-31 10:30:01
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answer #5
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answered by Thomas H 4
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Sounds rough. I would suggest confronting them with your feelings in a non-confrontational manner. Express to them your feelings of disconnect and see what there response is. If they want you and your children out of their home and are willing to find you a comperable place to live, then I say go for it! It's hard enough being a widow and having children to raise on your own. You do not need the added stress of being unwanted in someone else's home. If push comes to shove, for your own peace of mind, why not look for your own place to live? At least you will have the security of knowing that you are welcome when you walk through the door.
Good luck!
2006-07-31 10:39:19
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answer #6
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answered by Mellow_E 2
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You probably need to go ahead and look for your own place. It is really hard for two families to live together, even under the best circumstances. And it's only b/c people are different and then when you factor in kids, it makes for an even more difficult transition.
Just keep in mind that they were trying to help you and it's probably hard for them to ask you to find a place to live. You need a place for YOUR family only. To raise your kids and know that is their home. But you need to do it before things explode and then you have animosity. Good Luck!
2006-07-31 10:37:00
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answer #7
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answered by surelycoolgirl 5
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It's really hard to imagine the situation you would be going through right now. Any sympathy would only agrevate the situation. If you can support yourself by getting yourself into a job, that would be wonderful. At this stage in your life, when the ones who are supposed to be the dear and the near ones don't support, it would be the best in your interest to support yourself and prove a point to them. Independence and self reliance would be the most rewarding and satisfying stuff for you.
2006-07-31 10:28:00
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answer #8
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answered by Anonymous
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I would find somewhere else to live. So your not looking on the outside looking in. I think this is just an excuse to get you and your kids out. Make sure you have some place to go if this happens. Good Luck and I'm sure it will all work out.
2006-07-31 10:39:36
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answer #9
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answered by aimstir31 5
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There comes a time when all guests out stay their welcome. My guess would be that you and your children have reached that point with your brother inlaw.
I'm sorry for your loss, but you need to move on; not only for yourself, but for your children. It's time that you took charge of your family and let your brother inlaw and his family get back to their normal lives. I know that it's hard to pick up the pieces after losing a loved one, but it's really for the best. You need your own space and so do your children.
2006-07-31 10:30:29
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answer #10
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answered by Tia 3
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Well, most people know when they are not wanted. Perhaps you have outstayed your welcome. Perhaps you don't help around the house like they would like you to do. Maybe they cannot deal with the grief. At any rate, it's time to move on. Make plans to find another home and tell them; they will be relieved and it will save your family relationships.
2006-07-31 10:51:33
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answer #11
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answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7
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