Hi. I met a guy a couple months ago at a BBQ party. There was lots of eye contact and good chat. It felt very comfortable and he asked me out.
Couple dates later after live jazz and a club we share some passionate snogging. After another date a couple weeks later I attempted to kiss him. But he said he wanted to be friends, although finds me attractive. I decided - lust permitting – to try being friends with this guy for a while. We’ve met and talked a couple times since then in an increasingly enjoyable, flirty, comfortable and fun way.
I’m 34 black, him 36 & Italian been in UK 2+ yrs. We’ve talked - him more than me - about wanting family, kids etc before 40. We own our homes, have good jobs and share a sense of faith. We’ve both lived with other people and realise it takes something special to do that again. I would like to know how to manoeuvre these delicate steps.
I like him and think we’d be good together. So why is he politely distant? Is he just not into me?
2006-07-31 03:19:49 · 8 answers · asked by Mich B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thanks all for your advice. No am definitely not sleeping with him. But am not just hanging around waiting for him either. Just keeping level headed and accepting it for what it is right now.
I don't think he's had a serious relationship in the last year, he's mentioned a couple physical flings. It was some time since he left a girlfriend in Italy, but I accept that it could still hurt and lead to his reticence.
Y'all pretty much echoing my thoughts, will stay as friends and just take it slow.
2006-07-31 04:35:41 · update #1
hate to be so blunt- but he is not into you- guys go after what they want, and if they make any excuses or hesitation, then they do not want it- sorry!
2006-07-31 03:23:38 · answer #1 · answered by blahblahblah 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well this is really hard since I don't want to discourage you, but I'm half Italian and all I can tell you Italians are are a hard breed to figure out . they are very personable and that can sometimes lead a girl or a guy into thinking this is more than friendliness they are showing..sounds like you have done a lot to let him know you are attracted to him so leave it at that, be friendly but don't come on to him too strong, they like to wear the pants in the relationship...if you haven't slept with him yet, keep it that way till you are more sure about his intentions...the best thing to do is to let him lead the situation , as long as he is hanging out with you he has an interest , what that is only time will tell..be patient with him, as you know you can not rush a good thing...also it doesn't hurt to show a little distance yourself, not to play games but to see if he initiates...good luck to you.
2006-07-31 10:35:02 · answer #2 · answered by Roxy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tricky one...... mind reading is never easy is it?!
I really don't think this guy just isn't into you. If he didn't like you, he wouldn't want to be friends with you. He'd come out with the old "lets just be friends" line but he wouldn't make the effort to see you again. Because you are still in contact and meeting up and having fun together, its clear he enjoys your time together and wants to continue seeing you. Discussing such in depth things like marriage, kids and past partners shows he obviously trusts you and can talk to you comfortably. He's opened his heart to you. So to say he's not that into you, I think, is wrong.
I think whats probably happened is this guy felt things were maybe going a bit quicker than he felt comfortable with. Maybe he's been hurt in the past or maybe he just likes to take things slowly - some men do believe it or not! I think he likes you, but he just wants to get to know you first.
Why don't you talk it over with him and see what he says?
2006-07-31 10:30:13 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the comfortable flirty chat is what he is happy with, and nothing much more. Maybe he is getting over a recent split? Be patient with him, see how it goes.
2006-07-31 10:25:21 · answer #4 · answered by Gavin T 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men dont want a commitment and could be with someone else and you dont know it! If this guy says he wants to be friends he means it! So get the hint a move on if you want to have tht family ect........
2006-07-31 10:25:51 · answer #5 · answered by jessy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he just want to be friends with you and see how it goes from there don't rush it if you and him where meant to be you and him would be together
2006-07-31 10:25:07 · answer #6 · answered by ♥*♥Bahamian Gal♥*♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what a breathtaking saga.
2006-08-04 07:14:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i don't know......
2006-07-31 10:26:41 · answer #8 · answered by tezuka 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋