2 days ago my 16 yrold ran into a man at Starbucks on her break. He asked for money,she declined,asked for a hug, she said no.The mgr. had someone walk her back to work cuz she was scared.The next day 4 hours before her shift he was at the store asking for her by name and wanting to know when she came in.He waited outside for FOUR HOURS! Mngr. told him to leave. He came back 20 min. later after changing his clothes ran into the store screaming her name and CHASED her through the store.He left before the police got there.He has since been seen ouside the store 6 times.We don't know his name so we can't go any further yet with the police. She is afraid to go to work, and even leave the house without me. (don't worry I won't let her until we know who this is) My ?? How can I help her feel safe yet continue on with her daily life?
2006-07-31 02:56:47 · 11 answers · asked by pampers 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Let me clarify something-the police are involved,they have been called out to the store everytime this man has appeared.We have 5 incident reports filed, I can't file a TOR until I have his name.
2006-07-31 03:10:32 · update #1
I'd warn against arming her with mace, etc - she's young and probably pretty petite in comparison to this guy - it would most likely end up being used against her.
You should go down to the courthouse and find out how to file a restraining order - you can get a temporary restraining order almost immediately, and then later could make it permanent. That way when they call the cops, they have something to enforce rather than saying they can't do anything about it.
Also, can she stop working for awhile? Chances are, he only knows her through her work and would stop coming by if she hadn't been there for sometime.
Edit:
Just read your add'l comments - does he show up in a car? Ask the store to write down his plate numbers. Or, someone could try and follow him next time he runs off if the police haven't arrived.
2006-07-31 03:13:59 · answer #1 · answered by Chris K 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The guy sounds completely mental. Why weren't the police called while he sat there for 4 hours? The people at Starbucks or your daughter need to call the police and then NOT tell the guy they have called the police. If he still runs, she needs to give the police a description of him with as much detail she can.
Also, they need to check with other stores in that area. This guy has probably done this to other people--they usually do. I bet someone else has had a problem with him.
Other than that, just use caution and keep after the police. He'll get caught soon.
2006-07-31 10:04:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter had the same problem and we came up with a wonderful solution. She probably has some large friends at school that would be more than happy to play the same game on his butt that's hes doing to her. The Mgr can't do anything unless it's on store property but your friends can stake his butt out and follow him home and then call the police or show him the light another way. Life is dangerous and unpredictable and if you wait for the police to take care of it there's so much that has to happen before they will even get involved. Do you honestly think a court order (basically a piece of paper) will help? Find a friend of your daughter named Bubba and let him play the same game on him. It will stop.
2006-07-31 10:20:58 · answer #3 · answered by purplehays 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ugh... I would arm my daughter with a can of mace and a cell phone. You can involve the police at this point by filing an incident report. You can tell them what is happening! It's up to them to do the detective work to find out this creeps name...not you. Please call them ASAP. You might have to go down in person or they will come to your home. I have had to do this before with a crazy neighbor. It's important to document these things!
2006-07-31 10:03:53 · answer #4 · answered by Cheri 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to push the police more. If he is doing that to your daughter, he may be doing it to others.
*He does NOT need to be in the store for the manager or ANYONE to call the police.
*He does not need to talk or even approach your daughter for someone to call the police.
*YOU need to follow up and pursue this.
I would not brush this off and encourage her to "...feel safe yet continue on..."
she is not safe, and she needs to make some changes immediately.
When you catch him (and you will, because he will come back), you need to press charges.
I have kids, I have been in situations like this, and it is not over till you end it. Don't brush it off, and don't underestimate the persistance of a nutcase.
2006-07-31 10:06:55 · answer #5 · answered by tsbr1963 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was 15and 16 I had about three stalkers. My home number wasn't listed and none of my friends gave it away and they still got it,my full name, address,ETC. The only thing you can do is find out the persons name and put a restraining order on him.
2006-07-31 10:06:21 · answer #6 · answered by gin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For heaven's sake - who cares about his name? Get to the police NOW. They will find out his name. Geez - why are you playing around with this. No wonder your daughter is fearful - she has a right to be. What is wrong with you?
2006-07-31 10:01:36 · answer #7 · answered by theophilus 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stalkiing is a criminal offense in most states. Call the police when he shows up and let them find out his name when they arrest him.
2006-07-31 10:23:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she works at starbucks the have security cam`s so get the creeps pic I bet this isn`t the first time he`s done this cops probly just need to see his pic and buy her a gun
2006-07-31 10:08:54 · answer #9 · answered by steamroller98439 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has her work place got CCTV? Get on to that... They must be able to see outside of the property?
2006-07-31 10:49:38 · answer #10 · answered by Dazzler 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋