My wife and I have tried grounding from TV and Internet, having them pick up their messes. But it continues after the grounding has ended. I am wondering if it has something to do with my son's bi-polar condition and my daughters ADD. Any suggestions?
2006-07-31 02:35:24 · 17 answers · asked by red95cougar 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Rather than setting the goal of getting them to do this, set a goal of being someone they want to spend time with. You can turn clean up into a game, like throwing things into bins for points, doing a race to see if the two of you can clean everything up in 5 minutes. Put music on. Use the time cleaning up as time to tell stories or have conversations.
2006-07-31 02:39:49 · answer #1 · answered by Angela 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
An ADD child NEEDS routine, I am sure you know this by now. It might help to make it a family rule that everyone cleans up before bedtime. This can become part of the bedtime routine. Pick-up toys, books or whatever, then PJ's, tooth bushing, story and cuddles from mom or dad, then bedtime. Start your routine thirty minutes before you want them in bed!
Sometimes parents being consistent is the biggest help. I get lazy some days and don't "remind" my kids about cleaning up before bed, if I forget for more than a few days, the habit is shot.
2006-07-31 02:57:38 · answer #2 · answered by mar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep doing what your doing take there favorite things away. Having children with the medical conditions make it challenging but consistancy is what will pay off. Rememeber dont yell and threaten, give choices like you can choose to clean your room or have your comuter taken away, its your choice. My son was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress so I did alot of no discipline things that really made it hard when i needed him to straighten up. Kids dont come with a manual so just dont bow down and dont use there conditions as an excuse as to why they wont do what there supposed to. Lastly with the conditions they have TV and Computers are the enemy anyway its not good for them.
2006-07-31 02:45:47 · answer #3 · answered by arreis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If what they are not picking up is clothes, start collecting the clothes, washing them and then putting them somewhere where they cannot find them. Tell them that their clothes have been thrown away and they will not be replaced. Eventually they will get the point. Just because someone has Bi-polar and ADD does not mean they cannot pick up after themselves. It is giving them the chance to make excuses. I started picking up my girls toys and telling them they needed to help me pick up the toys or the toys would disappear. When their favorites did disappear, they started helping to pick up. The youngest picks up and dumps out all at the same time, but we sing a song while we pick up and that helps. (But mine are younger than yours).
2006-07-31 02:42:04 · answer #4 · answered by mom of girls 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, been here. ADD and Bi polar...... Get a box and what they don't pick up the lose in the box and have to do something to get the items back. Boy will that hit home when they have no clothes or their favorite item.
2006-07-31 02:40:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't let them eat a meal until they have picked up all their messes. That should change their behavior in no time.
When I was little, a method my mom used was making us pay her for every object we left out. I think she made us pay her a quarter for each item. That was a lot of money to us since our allowance was only about 2 dollars a week. It didn't cure us of being messies, but it did make a dent.
2006-07-31 02:42:13 · answer #6 · answered by Puff 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son has ADHD and it is very possible that you will have to continue to repeat yourself over and over again. They do not retain the alertness needed for them to 'remember' to anything they do not 'like' to do. This is no excuse for them tto not have to do it. By all means continue to be consistant with them both about their reponsibilities. Try a reward system; in which they get more time to do the activities they love if/when they clean up after themselves.
2006-07-31 02:45:57 · answer #7 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This worked for my children from the time they where small to even now in their teenage yrs.If i ask them to pick something up and they dont do it i usaully ask them again later.If they still dont then out comes the trash bag.I tell them if its been in the floor evidently they dont need it.Throw everthing in the floor in the garbage bag.Then without them knowing put the things in your closet.This will teach them if they want it pick it up.Slowly but surely i return their items one by one (without them knowing)to their bedrooms.If my teens see me going thru the house with a trash bag they scatter picking up things faster than i can get to them.Its kinda funny,but it works.Good luck God bless:O)
2006-07-31 03:08:36 · answer #8 · answered by melissa_froggies 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can always pick up the stuff they have left on floor and take it away from them. Then they have to earn back the confiscated stuff by doing chores around the house, or just making sure they pick up after themselves.
If you pay them an allowance, take that away from them as well....or make them use their allowance to pay you money for picking up their things.
2006-07-31 02:39:34 · answer #9 · answered by Angyles Cerddoriaeth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have a frank talk with them without getting pissed off and tell them that in a family everyone has their share of responsibilities and that since u dont really ask their help for doing ur own stuff, its only reasonable that they do their own atleast. kids arent so stuck up as parents usually assume. treat them as adults and not as children (by grounding them) and im sure they will respond positively
2006-07-31 02:43:41 · answer #10 · answered by rum_fun 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋