Yeah, I know this is cheesy but it's monday, I'm bored, cream-crackered and need a laugh. so funniest gags please (winner gets a mars bar, pack of skittles and half a curley wurley!). Here's my (poor) attempt:
two fish in a tank one says to t'other, "can you drive this thing?!"
2006-07-31 02:31:07 · 23 answers · asked by Timmy 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
It won't be long until it's POETS day (Friday Piss Off Early Tomorrows Saturday)
2006-07-31 02:35:36 · answer #1 · answered by bookwormaddict 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well its friday now so you can laugh your head off now its the weekend no work for a couple of days
go on the LAUGH
not funny then
well book 2 weeks holiday then have a really good laugh
ok still not funny enough
come to my place have a look at me
that will make you laugh
what a sight to see
ok still not happy and laughing
I WISH IT WAS MONDAY FOR YOU EVERY DAY THEN
if thats how you feel
its only fridays when you feel like laughing
2006-08-03 20:28:46 · answer #2 · answered by itsa o 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A sign in a factory: Girls wearing long skirts-beware of machines. Girls wearing short skirts-beware of machinists.
"Your future depends on your dreams" So go to sleep!
There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning!
"Alcohol kills slowly" So what? Who's in a hurry?
Alcohol can ruin a marriage - stay single!
"Hard work never killed anybody" But why take the risk!
"Work fascinates me" I can look at it for hours!
God made relatives Thank God we can choose our friends.
My girlfriend ran away with my best friend and I really miss him!
God is Alive! Speak to Him! (It's cheaper after six!)
When two's company, three's the result!
Confucius say...Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants.
Confucius says...If you want pretty nurse, you've got to be patient.
2006-07-31 02:37:13 · answer #3 · answered by Dumbledore 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow... just reading these I can tell Mondays hit some people pretty hard. I feel sorry for everyone who has to live through Monday.
2006-07-31 03:43:32 · answer #4 · answered by shelsi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Roll on Friday
2006-07-31 02:44:50 · answer #5 · answered by cymry3jones 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two scottish terrier dog walking down the street.
One say's to the other " I'm awa noo"
So the other one pee'd on him.
2006-07-31 05:40:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my funniest one liner for a monday. Glad i only work part time on mondays!!!
2006-07-31 02:47:16 · answer #7 · answered by ROBIN C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says 'Make me one with everything.'
2006-07-31 04:18:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two eggs in a saucepan one says
"Cor its hot in here"
second egg replies
"Blimey a talking egg"
2006-07-31 02:53:36 · answer #9 · answered by tourist 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guy used spot remover on his dog and his dog disappeared
2006-07-31 02:38:06 · answer #10 · answered by susan999 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋