HELP!!!...Broken Family...who do I Invite???

Question

OK....So I am engaged to this wonderful man who is really close to his family (which is wonderful). My problem is that my parents got divorced when I was 7 years old (I am now 23) and I have seen my father off and on since then but we are not close and his family has hated me since the divorce. I only keep in touch with my father and his father through occassional emails, I have tried to rebuild our relationship with no luck. I sent them both emails letting them know that i was engaged and hoping they would wish me all the best. I have recieved no response from either of them (since March 06) I am not getting married for another couple of years , but should I send invites to anyone on my fathers side of the family or not???

Answer 1

Its YOUR DAY, You do what you feel is best. I am in a similar situation. Except Its with my mom disowning me and my sisters and brother. Its for something I did 8 YEARS AGO and they can't let go (it had nothing to do with them), I've become a better person because of it I've change my life around 180 degrees. I've just learned to move on with my life and LOVE the ones who LOVE ME for me!! Our wedding is 9-2-06 and I didn't invite anyone on my side except for my dad and step mom, and my Auntie and cousins. I don't feel bad at all. I also think maybe you should talk to a counselor. I do see one and let me tell you it DOES HELP!!

Answer 2

I would invite them. I figure if you are still trying to keep in contact with them, then you are a person who doesn't want regrets. I would invite them, if they don't come, then you are not out anything, besides knowing once and for all how they feel. If you don't, and you want to keep a relationship with them (which you have up to this point), then it may ruin it. I would say though I would probably not have your dad walk you down the isle. I would either use your maternal grandfather (if alive), your mom, brother, or do what alot of people do and go alone or have your new spouse meet you half way and walk the rest of the way with him.
But I do agree with alot of other people. It is your wedding. You have to do what makes you the most comfortable.
Good Luck

Answer 3

You shouldn't be working on a guest list this far out, if the wedding is so far away. You're really putting the cart before the horse, here.

Contact the family members by regular mail if you can, just to get to know them better, not regarding your engagement. Send holiday cards and perhaps enclose some photos. Then you'll be in better touch when it's time to start up your guest list (like 8 months before the wedding).

Answer 4

you have a number of techniques: a million. start up decling the invites 2. in case you circulate, pay for funds, and don't spend greater advantageous than you may arise with the money for. under no circumstances EVER use credit enjoying cards until you that's an emergency. Time to diminish up the credit enjoying cards. 3. For bridal bathe presents do no longer spend greater advantageous than $15, and below $25 on infant presents. 3. in case you get invited to a number of those issues, discover out how make issues, or purchase products while they are on sale.

Answer 5

Two books you might want to check out at your library.

Wedding Sanity Savers by Dr. Dale Atkins & Annie Gilbar.

There is soooo much good info between these covers it's unbelievable. It's written in question/answer style.

Also, Wedding- A family Affair by Magorie Engle PH.D.

This book deals strictly with weddings with divorced parents; along with step parents, hurt & bad feelings. I thought it read like a dr had written it, but the information was REAL good.

Good luck & Congratulations!

Answer 6

Definitely invite your Father and his Parents and Siblings as bare minimum. Then stop there. Then think, who else in his extended family you know and would like to invite. If none of them, then dont bother because it's not worth it. (Unless you have unlimited budget and can invite the whole village/city/neighbourhood). In any event pls dont let anyone ruin your big day =)

Answer 7

First of all, I'm really sorry abou the whole situation! In my opinion, you should invite all the persons you would like to attend your engagement but as I can see, you should expect much. Don't waste your time on BEING IN BAD MOOD with you father's behavior and his relatives. IT'S YOUR HAPPINESS AND ENJOY IT!!!! Don't let anyone to spoil it!!! Do the right thing thing - I mean to invite them - and let them decide what they want to do.

Answer 8

If it were me, I would absolutely send an invite to your father. He may choose not to attend but at least you have done the right thing by including him. As for his family, the only other consideration I would make are the grandparents.

Answer 9

i am in the same situation pretty much and when i get married i dont know who to invite.but to be honest is it worth inviting someone who doesnt really seem to care and cant be bothered to reply to even an email.no. i no its hurtful but on such a special day you only need the people that mean something to you there.the only thing you would need to work out is who will give you away.i was thinking my brother.good luck

Answer 10

I would say yes, you should if you have no objection to them being there. They have the option of not responding to the invitation or going to the wedding if that is their choice.

If you do not invite them, chances are, this will just be more reason for them not having a relationship with you.

If you DO invite them, this is another chance for them to possibly forge one with you while giving them the opportunity to save face.