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My father recently banned my fiance from their house cause we moved in together. I love and respect my father but I also love my fiance with all my heart. What do I do

2006-07-31 01:33:42 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Family

11 answers

Mmmmm.

This is my first question: WHAT IS A FIANCE FOR YOU?
This is what the dictionary has to tell about fiance: a man who is engaged to be married; a betrothed man (to promise to give in marriage)

I think that your father read the dictionary a long time ago and his definition of fiance is the same as the one of the dictionary, and btw, it is the same thing that I think a fiance is.

For you, your "fiance" is just a guy with which you can do whatever you want to before getting married (sex, living together, share stuff together [like bank accounts, debts, etc], things proper of a married couple).

You have just showed up your immaturity, and your friend also, and that is the reason why your father reacted in the same way. And let met tell you, I don't think that you truly respect your father, because you are doing exactly the opposite thing that he has offered to you for several years; you are just throwing all the wisdom that he has shared with you over his face.

And my final comment: I don't think that a guy that asks a girl to move with him before getting married is prepared/ready to start a long termed/well based relationship. In Spanish we have a say that states: "Se le vio la costura", which means that he has shown up what his inner desires/plans are. I hope that both of you change up your minds and start up with a new way of thinking and living. I wish you LUCK.

2006-07-31 01:54:15 · answer #1 · answered by dioshy 4 · 0 0

You do nothing. Your father's home is his home, he has the right, although it seems harsh, to ban someone from his home. Your father is hurt, by the fact that the 2 of you did not wait to live together until after marriage.

My suggestion: Talk to your father. Let him know that you respect his wishes, and that you can sense he is hurt by your decision to live with your fiance before marriage, but that in the end he will not be judged by your actions but by his. Let him know that by him banning your fiance, the man you will spend the rest of your life with, it might put a barrier between you and your father. Let your father know you love him, but that you love you fiance and will not choose. Let him know your decision is made, and will respect his wishes.

Now... for your fiance. Reassure him of your love, listen to him and hear what he has to say about how this effects him. Let him know you are on his side, however that the two of you must respect your fathers wishes - it is, after all, your fathers house. Sad thing is - your father will lose in the end. He will lose contact with his daughter. Good Luck.

2006-07-31 01:40:13 · answer #2 · answered by 'Barn 6 · 0 0

Bide your time. Keep up the normal relationship with your Father,but make it clear, although you understand his feelings,he also must understand yours.You must be allowed to live/build your life how YOU think,you may be wrong in some of your decisions but its for you to find out.Things will be difficult for a time,but arguing will not achieve anything. Some Fathers find it hard to let go,and no man is good enough for their Daughter,your Fiance may need to work to prove he IS right for you. I really hope you get things sorted out,your Father will come round eventually. Good luck to you and your Fiance in your new home together.

2006-07-31 01:45:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Hurry up and get married. Then he won't bann her anymore. The reason he did is because you are living together out of wedlock engaged or not. Take her to an island somewhere and give her an amazing wedding quick. Otherwise you are just going to have to deal with it. One more thing, make sure that you stay on your fiances side of things. Don't leave her out and make plans with your family or anything.

2006-07-31 02:01:08 · answer #4 · answered by michiganwife 4 · 0 0

People are still doing that? I thought that mindset stopped in the 80s.

I think in time he might some around, unless he is a fundamentalist of one religion or another. My son has never been married, and has lived with three women for an average of about two years each. I don't know how I feel about that either, better than divorce I guess

2006-07-31 01:40:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

It is perfectly acceptable for you to love your fiance and your father at the same time. You do, however, have to respect your parent's wishes for their own home. It would be disrespectful to argue with your parents over whom they should allow to pass through their door. It is you who has chosen to live with this person, not them, so it would be wise to create some distance there. It does seem odd, though, that your parents banned your fiance, and not you. You decided to live with your fiance, so you are just as guilty as he/she is of whatever offense your parents are accusing him/her of. Interesting.

2006-07-31 01:38:41 · answer #6 · answered by lazor_braids 2 · 0 0

Give your father some time. It is a big shock and he needs time to let it sink in. Don't push the issue and talk to the b/f and wait it out. Good luck.

2006-07-31 01:35:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

No he can no longer in basic terms sign the certificates. that would open up a brilliant legal can of worms ought to her organic and organic father decide for to reappear at any element. you apart from would ought to tell your granddaughter the fact approximately her parentage. they're going to ought to pass via with a termaination (the two voluntary or courtroom sanctioned) of dads parental rights and the fiancee will ought to formally undertake her. no longer notifying the dad might overturn issues besides. Dad can decide for to reenter the image down the line and say that he became never notified that she became his etc. this is terrific for all in contact to terminate the rights and erase that possibilty.

2016-11-03 09:03:02 · answer #8 · answered by winstanley 4 · 0 0

What can you do? Your parents need to cut the cords. You are going to be getting married and they need to respect that fact. If they can't accept your fiancee just because you moved in with him, what are they going to do when you marry? have kids? They need to get a grip.

2006-07-31 01:37:44 · answer #9 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0 0

listen ur father is ur father.u should really talk to him and see what's wrong with him.and fiance should understand the situation.

2006-07-31 01:38:15 · answer #10 · answered by Musty 4 · 0 0

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