How do you get over someone you love being murdered?

Question

My antie was murdered last year but i cant get over it, im not eating very well and im so hurt and upset,

Answer 1

I was involved in similar situation, but it wasn't a family member, rather a very close friend of mine.

Kissy, there are no words that anyone will say to you that will make you feel better. It's up to you to come to terms with what has happened. There are alot of sources that you can turn to for help, such as other family members, support groups, family doctors that can recommend counseling, and your local churches. If you keep all your emotions bottled up, it will only make you more withdrawn and your health could start to deteriorate.

It took me nearly a year to start to accept what had happened to me. It has been about 9 years now and my family and friends are still there supporting me. I have not forgotton my dear friend, but because of the support and the grief counseling I have been receiving, I have made it this far. One more thing, you never get over a loved one, you just cherish every moment that you had together.

Hope this helps some and sorry for your loss.

Answer 2

Hi Kissy, I think the reason you can't come to terms with your auntie dying is the way that it happened. You will probably never get over it and I know it is an old cliche to say 'that time is a great healer' but it is true and eventually you will get over it . In the meantime I think a bereavment counsellor could help you come to terms with the way it happened, because I think you have got yourself very depressed and you need help to come out of it. Some doctors surgeries (in England anyway) have counsellors attached to them, so it might be worth a visit to the doctor too. I really feel for you and hope that you get the help you desperately need. God bless.

Answer 3

I am so sorry to hear your sad news.

The pain you are feeling will ease up but it won't go away. It's natural for your heart to feel so crushed but your aunt would be so sad to see you in this state and would be much happier if you tried to eat something and did your normal things.

Try to feel better for her, don't go down hill. The thought that the person that murdered her is getting to someone she loves would be too much for her to take. So try to get on with your life.

I wish you all the best and I send you a very big hug.

Answer 4

last year i opened a newspaper and read that my dads cousin and his wife had been murdered in spain,where they lived,even my dad didn't know,i had to phone him and tell him i read it in a newspaper,my dad worshipped him and it hit the family really hard,you can't get over something like that,you just learn to deal with the pain abit better day by day,some days will be worse then others but you have to think about your loved one and ask yourself would they want you moping about sad or living life to the full,it's so hard when you lose someone unexpectedly,but take a little time now and then and sit alone ,think of them,have a little cry and then move on.
i'm not sure if seeing a counsellor would help but it's helped me in the past,you need to take care of yourself and live your life so that your aunt would be proud of you.

Answer 5

Its something you most likely will never get over.. You may learn to cope with it, but never actually get over it.. I am really sorry to hear about your loss.. But how yuor feeling over it is normal, you should really try and eat and live life hun.. If you dont your going to get sick and you know what that can lead too.. Would you want to put people threw what your going threw over the loss? You have to continue to be strong for the rest of the ones who care about you, I know and understand that it is reall hard to do so.. Maybe you can get some couceling or some kind of help that can get you threw it? My b/f lost his daughter and has been going threw couceling, it seems to be doing him some good. So really it wouldnt hurt you.. again I am really sorry for your loss and I hope you seek help and get threw this.. Good Luck

Answer 6

You have to think of the rest of your family.Most of us have had death in our family,but through every day life,not murdered.All I can say to you is,she would be looking down upon you and would not want you engulfed in grief.She would want you to live your life and be happy.Dont let whoever did that to your auntie ruin your life as well.She would NOT want you to be like this,I promise you.You could do with bereavement counselling,talk about it and dont bottle everything up.When remembering her,look at old photos and remember all the good times with her.Its alright to laugh about happy times like when you were growing up.You have to eat properly,this can make you depressed and tired.Then you wont be thinking straight or rationally.For your auntie,in respect of her memory be the best possible person you can possibly be.take care

Answer 7

You don't get over it.

As time goes on you start to accept it and the pain will dull but won't go away.

You start to live with a new reality.

Things are obviously very bad for you - maybe on the point of clinical depression. Go and see your Doctor, (s)he can get you help in dealing with your emotions.

Answer 8

there are loads of counsellors out there first try your family doctor who may well refer you to one they do help. I am so sorry about your loss and I know its a cliche but time does definitely heal wounds. You could hold a ritual for your auntie light a candle and have a picture of her and just meditate on the good things about her wishing her peace and love

Answer 9

Time, time, time, time.
I understand what you have been through. My ex boy friend's only brother was murder right in front of his house with a gun shot right through the temper. He
was like a walking zombie for 3 years. Today, he is one of the most successful businessman with his company on public listing.

Answer 10

counseling would help or maybe you can see your doctor for an anti-depressant...if you are a religious person you can concentrate on daily devotions...it is really hard sometimes to know exactly why things happen to wonderful people...but unfortunately it is a part of life....i am a strong believer that we are never put through anything we can't get though...be strong!...time really does heal...