attachment parenting?

Question

does anyone have any experience of attachment parenting,it has worked well for us so far and i congratulated myself on having a content baby who slept well and never cried, he is 14 months now and i am worried he is running rings round me, i dont want to withdraw my attention but i cant get anything done! anyone experienced this?

Answer 1

You said you can't get anything done. Have you tried wearing him in a sling or a back-carrier?

Have you tried involving him in whatever you are doing? Letting him "help" you? Give him washrags to "fold" while you are folding laundry. Have a cupboard in the kitchen that is safe for him to play in while you put away dishes. Let him "cook" with playdough at the kitchen table while you make dinner. Let him "help" in the store but giving him a small notebook and crayon to mark things off his own "list" while you shop. Let him help you dust with a soft, dry cloth.

Clean the bathroom while he is in the bathtub. Or have dad bathe him in the evening and you use that time to vaccuum if he doesn't like the noise. Use his naptime to get things done that are too difficult to do with a "helper" underfoot.

Since he's still very young, I'd suggest you still go with the "15 minute rule." Don't start any projects that will take more than 15 minutes unless you have help.

You say he is "running rings" around you. I'm not sure what you mean? Are you having discipline problems?

Answer 2

I agree with the other poster above about including him in things you do. My kids loved to put the silverware away (forks and spoons) at that age while I put everything else away (including the knives).

When I cooked they were usually in the highchair with a bowl of something (usually cereal or left over "mac and cheese" or sometimes applesauce ot the like) or a banana and a popscile stick to cut the banana with. It can be a little messy, usually was usually contained to the highchair and they thought it was great fun, could see me and weren't under my feet as I was cooking real food.

Also this is a good time to sit him down with a baby einstien tape or some other 15-30 minute show so that you can make important phone calls, check email, cook a quick dinner, ect. You could also start encouraging him to play by himself for a few minutes with cars or blocks or even crayons and paper while you do something else nearby.

You also need to remember what is age approperate for him at this point.

Answer 3

I do not agree with the first replier. I used attachment parenting and my child was and still is very loving and affectionate (she's 5 1/2). It helped her to feel safe when I did start leaving her more or with school. Because she had always known she was safe and loved, she knew she didn't have to worry when I was gone for awhile.

As for now? It's just the age, he is still a baby and still needs you, but he should start being a little independent soon, start exploring more. It'll get better. You started attachment parenting because that's what felt right to you. Trust that and go with it. You are doing great!

Answer 4

My husband and I use AP with his daughter (my stepkiddo). She is 6 1/2 and we still do it. She has slept in her own bed since soon after her 6th b-day and we feed her organic foods whenever she is hungry (not on our schedule or societies) and we watch very little TV. Its working out very well for us, and I have to say that since her mother (who she spends 50% of time with) does not practice this AP stuff, there are major differences in the way my stepkiddo behaves at our respective houses. At her mom's she is a little hellion and I really feel sorry for my hubby's ex. At our house she is a perfect angel. I'm not saying any of this was easy, but it worked.

My advice to you is just to follow your instincts, that is really what AP is all about. You know what is best for your baby, no one else does.

Answer 5

I was going to do this, but my friends had so much trouble with it, especially separation anxiety for the baby, it made their children scared and nervous to be away from the mother, so the parents can't do anything without the baby. I did the opposite, I did disciplined parenting, my baby eats like a horse/sleeps like a lamb (11-12 hrs a night since 3 months) and will stay with my mother overnight without problems. She is content and knows Mommy will always be just around the corner for her, she is confident and very advanced for her age. It is hard to do disciplined parenting as most new mothers like to hug, kiss, rock their babies to sleep without realizing it will make it harder down the track when they understand more. I put my daughter to bed at night in a set routine, she always knew if she called out or cried I would be there, I didn't rock her to sleep or stay in the room till she slept, I gave her a bottle, kissed her, turned the light off and walked out. The walking out was the hard part, but it gave her a routine which I now appreciate. You won't be withdrawing your attention, slimply starting a routine will be good for her, it may take a little while of her crying, but do it now before it's too late and you end up spending hours trying to get her to sleep. Try out this board, it may help.

Answer 6

Ah, yes one of the new parenting treasures that seems to back fire.

Your baby is only 14 months old and has not found that you and s/he are seperate people yet. Start small and work your way through this.

Easy for me to say as I'm not the one who has to listen to the crying though. I would recommend that you find another mom who has gone through this and have a chat.

Answer 7

The only thing I did was have my newborn sleep with us and that made all the difference in the world as far as great sleeping.