For instance, if I was living with a bloke who stayed on his computer all day when he wasn't working and who went to the pub every single day and ignored me and our kid, what do you think I should do? Would you think the bloke loved me and cared about me and our kid, or should I find someone else?
(This isn't about me, I'm happy being single and having no kids).
(I also don't know if this is in the right category).
2006-07-30 22:55:59 · 37 answers · asked by jessiferjonespretend 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
(He does go to work, part time)
2006-07-30 23:02:41 · update #1
As this is my friends question I don't feel as though I can decide on a best answer, sorry, I'll have to put this to a vote.
2006-08-06 00:14:39 · update #2
Give the guy an ultimatum to shape up his act soon or else you'll leave and find someone else!
2006-07-30 22:58:36 · answer #1 · answered by Mo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some of the answers seem ok but I posted a similar question. Well, not about the whole pub thing but it was a relationship question, and had people saying that I should talk to him. I tried that, it didn't work. It's alright for people to suggest talking and finding out what's wrong but when the bloke refuses to talk, sometimes even because he doesn't think there is a problem, then you can't do anything about it. I think your friend should give him an ultimatum but I know that doesn'a always work either. It does sound like this bloke doesn't care about his family and whatever anyone says about having the child in the first place, no one but those close to your friend would know what the situation was like before the child arrived. I know men who have been great and then suddenly lost interest in their family after years of being happy so ignore any of those idiot remarks about being irresponsible, etc.
Whatever happens will be difficult. I would suggest counselling because even if he doesn't want a relationship anymore, he obviously has some issues. Any decent person would have left already rather than hurt their own flesh and blood so much by staying and being so ignorant anyway. So there is something which needs dealing with anyway, whether or not they stay together. Saying that, I tried to get my partner to have counselling but he wasn't interested because he didn't believe anything was wrong.
2006-08-01 05:23:11 · answer #2 · answered by bex 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess nobody is qualify to give you any answer. 'Cos this is really your child's and your life that you are talking about. You do not give birth to a kid and say you are happy being single and having no kids, you can never turn the clock back. Is the future you have to plan for yourself. Is no big deal having a kid and leave the man who is not responsible because I am very sure you will be loved by alot of sincere people out there, at least your family members first before you can find another man who is really responsible and love you just as much as he love your child.
2006-07-30 23:04:27 · answer #3 · answered by simple 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is very obvious that this guy has serious issues. Anyone who spends all their spare time on the computor or at a pub, totally igoring their partner and child doesn't deserve to have them around. My answer would be to address the guy with an ultimatum. Either...make an effort to spend some time as a 'family' or lose the 'family' all together. If he really cares he will change. Give him a time limit...say a week...and if there is no change then leave. At least you will have done your part in warning him of your concerns.
2006-08-04 12:47:24 · answer #4 · answered by DennistheMenace 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
May be the bloke is watching images of a person like you, who is happy being single having no kids. Since you yourself are not sure if you are in the right category, both of you may take a chance.
2006-07-30 23:02:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get out of there as soon as you can. He obviously don't love you if he ignoring you. if you are worried about being on your own with a kid don't be silly. It's quite common in this day and age and would be better than putting yourself through this emotional torture. Good luck with whatever you do but just remember you don't have to put up with that behaviour toots
2006-07-30 23:51:52 · answer #6 · answered by toots 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, what's a bloke? Second, I'd stay with him for the welfare of the child. The child could be scarred if this person breaks up with him. However, they could threaten to leave if he doesn't straighten up and get a job. Seriously, IM me and tell me what a bloke is. dumb180@yahoo.com
2006-07-30 23:01:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Forget about finding someone else,save some money find another place to live and when he's at the pub move,with your child.Find yourself and what makes you happy without leaning on another person for that.If the place that you live is already yours ,than when he's at the pub pack his belongings up and put them near the door.
2006-07-30 23:04:16 · answer #8 · answered by painting? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound as if he is interested in his family at all or happy. If this was me, then I would address the issue with him directly and find out what was making him so miserable, then try to fix it if it could be fixed or take the mature decision to break it off.
I could understand if a man was no longer interested in his partner, it happens, but not to be interested in his own child... well that's unforgiveable.
2006-07-30 23:01:04 · answer #9 · answered by dirtyminx82 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No this bloke does not love you, does not care for you and probably does not even like you. Get shot of him asap.
2006-08-04 09:55:16 · answer #10 · answered by lady_in_blue_109 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if the kid is involved it ceases to be about you and becomes about the kid, the solution to most relatioship problems is communication so talk to the bloke, if he does not change then tell him to pack and leave coz you do not want your child to be exposed to such a role model s/he may get realities about life all twisted and become a problem in his/her mature life
2006-07-31 00:10:58 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋