Okay, so I am fourteen, and I am gay. Recently, a guy who I told to **** off six months earlier, I decide to become friends with him again because I really liked him. The reason why I fought with him was because he got a bit too obsessive and I felt uncomfortable with this guy that sends me 100 messages (exaggerated) everytime I go on AIM or MSN.
Now, we're friends, and closer then ever, but too close. I would totally date him but his family is strict and doesn't allow these things or whatever. So we had a little "long distance" relationship thing going on for a short time. I think he thinks we're still together, but I have no feelings for him anymore. There's no physical interaction and the only thing excited about our chats online is when I start talking dirty with him. He's starting to do the same thing six months ago (being obsessive) and I'm pretty annoyed by it, hence the title. I don't want to end this relationship yet and I don't want to hurt him (again).
Hope you can help.
2006-07-30 22:25:19 · 7 answers · asked by thomas 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I ran out of characters. Anyways, the way he is annoying is how he always compliments me. It's like, he's trying to hard to make me like him.
2006-07-30 22:29:10 · update #1
To the person who answered with, "Why do you talk dirty with him?". The reason is because we have nothing else interesting to talk about besides flirting, talking dirty, or him complimenting me.
2006-07-30 22:40:40 · update #2
This is a no win situation. To get out of this relationship you need to end the friendship too because this will always have a hold over you & no matter what you do he will still be possesive over you which will damage any future relationships. You can make new friends.
2006-07-30 22:30:23 · answer #1 · answered by Dannie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To summarize: you had a relationship, and he was too clingy. You let him go. Then tried again, but his parents did not approve, so it was a secret relationship. Now you don't want him again. Yet, you are letting him think you are still together, emailing dirty messages. Correct?
If someone told you the above, what would you say to them? With emotional matters, it is good to look at them logically, just the facts. It takes away the emotional confusion, and paints a clear picture.
The advice here applies to heterosexual relationships as well. If you do not want to be with someone, be honest. Do not string them along on a pretence. It only hurts more when you finally let them go.
Be honest about what your heart feels, fellow humans deserve that gift.
Also, did you really take the time, several months, to get to know him in the beginning? If not, how were you know if he was the type of person you wanted to be with? Please take the time in the future to know who you are letting into your heart and life. You deserve the best choice.
2006-07-30 22:39:25 · answer #2 · answered by ?seeker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well since you are fourteen,
1. you are knowingly / unknowingly becoming a victim of child abuse.
2. this relationship/liking in no way illustrates that you wont like girls in the future.
3. maybe you need some peer protection or for that matter just plain attention which is bad.
all i can advise you is to get out of it because i have been through it and you might hate your self for being foolish later.
and remember always,
male or female if any one is obsessed with you STAY AWAY FROM THEM you might end up dead as many homicides are crimes of passion
2006-07-30 22:59:46 · answer #3 · answered by is_cupid_stupid 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think you should tell him that you mind him being so obsessive and if he continues that behaviour you will stop being friends with him. Now, you guys are not really having a relationship, it's more like friends with little twist and by all means, you are only fourteen, you should wait before you commit to someone seriously! So I think you should really make it clear with him that it's only friendship you have and he should relax if he wants to keep you in his life. I'm a woman, but I have many gay friends and I have to tell you, many of them are excessively obsessive about their boyfriends (or potential boyfriends) so try to learn how to deal with it, because it will help you in your future relationships. Good luck!
2006-07-30 22:35:08 · answer #4 · answered by Rowena D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From what 'i'm hearing is YOU really like this kid. I think his parents ended the relationship, because they didn't approve. Then YOU tried to keep it a secret. YOU are the one really hurting, that's why YOU want a easy way (not to hurt) his feelings to let him go. Just maybe that's because YOU realize in the future when YOUR both old enough YOU can be to gether. YOU talk dirty to him because YOU want to keep him close to YOU, like a puppy on a string.
For GOD sakes if you care tell him the truth!
2006-07-30 23:52:59 · answer #5 · answered by volleyball55morrow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not attracted to him why are you talking "dirty" to him? That is the first thing you have to stop doing, and I mean completely. How could he not get the wrong idea?
If he starts obsessing than he could become a stalker. If he gets too serious than you will just have to end it...and then don't encourage him again.
2006-07-30 22:38:15 · answer #6 · answered by Ellen J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is he a child too if so then its fine if he is a lot older than you, you are suffering child abuse and this is not right. if he is the same age and you do like him then stay friends and see how it works out when you get older. best of luck.
2006-07-31 03:36:45 · answer #7 · answered by mistycat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋