Dermatologist: Good News my dear, after looking through your test results I'm happy to report you will no longer be plagued by pimples.
Girl: Wow! That's great! Why?
Dermatologist: There's no more space.
"How was dance class today, Melinda?"
"Oh, it was great, Daddy. In fact, two boys got into a fight over dancing with me!" Melinda said
"Oh?" said her father, his interest piqued.
Melinda continued "Yes! First Richard told John, 'You dance with her,' then John told Richard, 'No, YOU dance with her!'"
A driver is pulled over by a policeman. The police man approaches the driver's door.
"Is there a problem Officer?"
The policeman says, "Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your licence please?"
The driver responds, "I'd give it to you but I don't have one."
"You don't have one?"
The man responds, "I lost it four times for drink driving."
The policeman is shocked. "I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?"
"I'm sorry, I can't do that."
The policeman says, "Why not?"
"I stole this car."
The officer says, "Stole it?"
The man says, "Yes, and I killed the owner."
At this point the officer is getting irate. "You what!?"
"She's in the boot if you want to see."
The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes, five police cars show up, surrounding the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
The senior officer says "Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please!"
The man steps out of his vehicle. "Is there a problem sir?"
"One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner."
"Murdered the owner?"
The officer responds, "Yes, could you please open the boot of your car please?"
The man opens the boot, revealing nothing but an empty boot.
The officer says, "Is this your car sir?"
The man says "Yes," and hands over the registration papers.
The officer, understandably, is quite stunned. "One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving licence."
The man digs in his pocket revealing a wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the licence. He looks quite puzzled. "Thank you sir, one of my officers told me you didn't have a licence, stole this car, and murdered the owner."
The man replies, "I bet you the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too!"
One day Mom was cleaning Junior's room and in the closet she found a bondage S&M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his Father got home and showed it to him. He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word. So she asked him, "What should we do about this?" Dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should spank him."
A blonde is on a four-engine plane crossing the Atlantic. All of a sudden there's a loud bang. The pilot announces over the intercom 'I'm sorry, one of our engines has just shut off. We'll be delayed 45 minutes.' Suddenly there's another bang. Once again, the intercom clicks on and the pilot expresses his regret that they'll be delayed two hours. Shortly thereafter, there is another bang and the pilot announces that they'll be delayed 3 hours. The blonde turns to the guy sitting beside her and says, 'Man, if the fourth engine shuts off we'll be up here all day.'
2006-07-30 21:40:26 · 14 answers · asked by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
I really laughed at "Well I don't think you should spank him."
Awesome
2006-07-30 21:58:03 · answer #1 · answered by madyx524 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
rofl. lol, where do u come up with these jokes? lol u must go to some kinda joke website. well anyways, I LOVED THEM!
joke 1) 9 /10
joke 2) 6 /10
joke 3) 8 /10 *he really knows howta get himself outta trouble! LOL
joke 4) 9 /10
joke 5) 10/10 *such a blonde lol!
2006-07-31 01:51:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Por supuesto!! Aqui he conocido personas muy especiales que han dejado huella en mi Alma. Algúnos de ellos se han convertido en Grandes Amigos para mi. Conoci aqui a Almas afines a l. a. mia, a mis dos hermanas del Alma, a mi mejor Amigo. year me ha dado muchos obsequios maravillosos como l. a. Amistad. Entre otras cosas. Saludos :)
2016-10-01 07:11:46 · answer #3 · answered by robinette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lmao! great jokes, give u a 9/10.
2006-07-30 21:47:07 · answer #4 · answered by Cool Z 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too much information
2006-07-31 12:59:10 · answer #5 · answered by JAGC 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah these jokes made me laugh where did you get them did you make the mup there good lol!!!!
2006-07-30 21:47:11 · answer #6 · answered by <*NeKaBoO*> 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol, like the pimple joke, didn't expect that there's no more space...
2006-07-30 22:21:54 · answer #7 · answered by miauwme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
rofl
2006-07-30 22:06:19 · answer #8 · answered by LiTlE mIsSy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great jokes....rofl!
2006-07-30 21:50:55 · answer #9 · answered by Courage 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
heheh... slightly corny... but enjoyable nonetheless :)
2006-07-31 04:36:12 · answer #10 · answered by iamigloo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋