I am not in good terms with my dad, nor do I intend to have a close relationship with him. He, on the other hand, wants a close relationship with me--i'm guessing because of religious purposes or for the "image", since there was a long period of time that he didn't really care whether we were close or not. I developed an annoyance towards him because he tried to force me to be close to him. Now, he has stopped, and we hardly talk to each other. He can get violent and immature when things aren't going his way. For example, he had persisted on getting a ticket to come here on the 1st, but the airline said there was no available seat until the 9th/10th. I told him that, but he told us to force the flight agent to get him a seat for the 1st. I tried to talk to him about it not being available, but he remained stubborn. So, I eventually got annoyed and started using CAPITALS and EXCLAMATIONS!!! which made him so mad he now refuses to pay for my uni fees.
2006-07-30 21:36:03 · 4 answers · asked by blue_bee 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I don't ever see us being close ever again. He scares the hell out of me and I think I've lost all the respect and love I should have for him. Although, there are some good qualities of him, part of me just wants him out of my life completely. I know this isn't a good thing, and I am open to comments/advice but please do not say anything mean. I can't take that kind of criticism right now. thanks!
2006-07-30 21:37:45 · update #1
we do live apart, but he also comes to visit for months and months....
2006-07-30 21:45:39 · update #2
my sisters, my mom, and i live here...so he always has a reason to come....
2006-07-30 22:27:23 · update #3
You poor thing, I gather that your dad is in another country or state. I think maybe you need to examine in your mind, why, you fear your father, you dont say in your letter, I think that this feeling you have of him has got alot to do with you drifting away from him, and it is all very well for us to give advice, but not knowing why you fear him, only you can decide whether you allow him to come visit you. I dont like the idea of him "being close when it suits him" and also using "religion" as a tool either, something is so not right here, let alone the violence and immaturity. Tell him your not ready for him to visit yet, as you have taken extra courses which will keep you busy and you dont have the time to spend with him. Try and deter him from coming any way you can, as it is very clear you are not emotionally ready for anymore outbursts. You need time to search your heart . Good Luck dear, my thoughts are with you.
2006-07-30 22:13:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear girl, I just read your question. Of course, at first it seemed just like other problems teenagers face everyday. But i can see something different from your words. It seems like you love your father but only can not accept his way. He is very stubborn too. Just like you can not agree with him, he also can not agree with others on anything. He is searching for love and respect from somebody who he is close. This is just normal, I think. All men love to have respect from others. only a little thing can hurt them deeply. This is true with women as you know. I am not a councellor or somebody like that but I only know that it is always better to try to solve problems before it is too close. Please keep in your mind that every daddy or father loves their child. Because thier child is from themselves. They are theirs.
Unfortunately, we are so stubborn or foolish to see how it is precious to have father. I can see your love for your father from your question. If you did not, you will not worry about having bad relationship with him. You had great times together before. But your life is now and in the future. You can solve this problem with your dad. Only two of you can make this decision. You can make the decision weither you have good relationship with your dad or not. Dear girl, it is always better to have your own opinion and decision on everything. It is good to ask from others. But it is your life, you will make decision. You have bright future. I am sure you can do your best in your life. You are not only an average person. You can be a winner!
2006-07-31 04:54:17 · answer #2 · answered by moogie52004 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should consider yourself lucky to have a father who actually gives a flying f---. If the man is paying for your education, you should be doing whatever he wants, unless you have a way to pay for it all yourself? And he also offers to pay for your plane ticket as well? Bollocks. Grow up a bit and be thankful for the things you DO have. At least your father is still alive and you still have the opportunity to make amends.
2006-07-31 04:45:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dad is the exact same way. I live with him so I have no choice to try and get along with him. You're lucky to be able to live apart from him. If you and he just can't get along, maybe it's best that you don't see each other.
2006-07-31 04:43:01 · answer #4 · answered by First Lady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋