You see my ex-boyfriend got scarred and left, i mean left state, now he claims our daughter is not his and claims that I ran him out of state. I know that he loves her because I watched him with her. You can't fake that. I don't really care if he loves me because he is way to childish for me. I want a stable man, who can deal with lifes obsticles.
But here is the question.
Should I let him be a part of her life and hurt her or should I keep him as far away from her as I can?
2006-07-30 21:14:32 · 8 answers · asked by Princess 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The only reason that I think he can hurt her is because he has hurt everyother girl in his life. His mother, me, his ex-girlfriends(that are now friends), his wife (on many occassions, look at my daughter) He has a history of hurt, i really don't want him to pass it on to her.
2006-07-30 21:23:25 · update #1
This is obviously a very new, and painful situation for you. As a protective and Loving Mom--you want to spare your child ANY pain he might cause her down the road. I think that right now tho,--you are still very hurt, and probably still in shock that he blew town--like a coward!!!
Whether he comes to his senses or not--you have to slowly begin to move forward for not only yourself--but for that Beautiful little girl too. She's going to need a strong, dependable role model in her life, (and apparently he isn't going to be one), so you will have to be.
Maybe in time he will grow up enough to be someone she can respect, but in the meantime--protect yourself, get financial support--even if you have to get an attorney, or legal aid, or even going through the welfare system to force him to at least be accountable for his child's financial well-being.
As for visitation,--only you can determine if you feel he can be trusted alone with her. Good Luck!!
2006-07-30 21:41:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 2⤋
Its her father.. if he can accept this then no dont keep her away because he wont hurt her.. do DNA test is u have to .. he is just scared of having a child maybe..but it's wrong to keep his daughter away from him.. For her own sake you should do something to prove that she is his daughter and just explain to him that u do it for her and not for you.. Tell him that you will move on with your life if that's what u want but he has to take the responsibility of being a parent.. One day ur daughter will find out and it will hurt her more if u keep her away from her father now.. Do everything for him to be convinced that he's the real father and im sure he will act as one.. he just needs time probably..as u said he loves her and that u also mentioned that he acts childish ..So probably he cant realise it yet.. Give him proves.. for the best of the lil girl..
Good luck =D
2006-07-31 04:25:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he cant handle the responsibility that comes with being a father. If he doesn't want to have anything to do with her I wouldn't force them together, but Id make sure I got a paternity test so I could get money outta him. But if he does decide he wants to be apart of her life and you keep him away from her, you will be the one that ends up hurting her.
2006-07-31 04:20:32 · answer #3 · answered by april K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What little she sees of her father she will appreciatte. It will break her little heart on the days he doesn't show but when he does she will love it. In her teenage years is when she will express the hurt from her father...but if you don't let her see him at all, when she is a teen not only will she express hurt and anger twords him, but you as well. So let her see him and as an adult she will see you did all you could to make her life good, and as I said she will appreciate the little time she did see him.
2006-07-31 04:21:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do not know if there is a correct answer to this problem?? my ex-wife left me when i was twenty years old with our six month old daughter. she has never contacted us again. my daughter is fourteen now and i still have to answer some very tough questions from her on this matter. you more than likely will have problems either way that you choose. you just have to choose the lesser of the two evils. good luck.
2006-07-31 04:21:54 · answer #5 · answered by up all night 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why will it hurt her if he is a part of her life, if he loves her the way you said you know he does? Your question isn't clear.
2006-07-31 04:18:44 · answer #6 · answered by keengrrl76 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he claims she's not his then he won't want anything to do with her. when he is in her life just keep an eye on things and deal with things as they come up.
2006-07-31 04:22:44 · answer #7 · answered by gonetotallymad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep her ... FAR ... FAR away as possible
2006-07-31 04:18:30 · answer #8 · answered by Curiosity 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋