What do you think of parents that make the oldest child always look over the younger ones?

Question

My sister has 3 kids 6,7, and 11. She makes the 11 year old watch the two younger boys all the time. Like theres never a time when my niece isn't watching her lil brothers while my sister is out chill'n, shes 28. My niece has been doin this since she was about 5. My niece asked her mom if she could come stay the night over here with me and my sister's response was who's gonna be home with the boys. I was thinking wtf her lil brothers aren't her kids and not even her responsibility. I think she needs to get it together because one day somebody may call child services on her because she is never home with them doing whatg a mother should do. Oh yeah...its 12:32 am and she's here at my house while her kids are home alone.

robert..three different daddys, ones dead, i think the other in jail, and the other is somewhere around here

Answer 1

You need to kick her in the *** and tell her to get home! That is a form of child abuse and is not right to the children.

Answer 2

In Michigan a child must be abused and proof of the abuse before protective services intervene however if you wait until you know she is coming over and call the police you have suspicians childrena re left home alone they will tend to the call, or you can at that point call protective services, they are 24/7.
It sounds like you need to shake her up since your the sister older or younger, you acknowlegde this and are obviously disturned. I am disturbed and fear for these children and dont know them. NO SIBLING ASHOULD EVER WATCH/BABYSIT smaller children unless theya re at least 14-15 but even at that age do they know what to do in case of an emergency? I doubt it. My kids are both 10 and no one under 18 watches them.

Answer 3

Why would you allow her to come to your house when you know that her kids are home alone??

There was a woman who lived down the street from me who did the same thing.. and I thought.. 'Is there anything worse than knowing and not doing anything about it?'

During the summer months the 11y old was taking care of the 7y old.. running the house while the mother was at work, or running the roads.. or at the bar.. and I did something.

I took care of them. I offered to babysit.. and why not? There was nothing else that I was doing. If I was at work, I paid my daughter to babysit at MY house. (she's 16) Most times, she didn't want to be paid.. cause she was just as concerned as me.. but we took it upon ourselves to watch those kids.. and make sure that nothing bad happened..

We had a talk with their mother, and told her that if she didn't smarten up, someone was going to call social services on her ... and then she wouldn't have to worry about her kids anymore..

It took her a while, but she eventually saw what she was doing. All you need to do is talk to her. Tell her that something is going to happen.

As her sister, you should be doing something instead of sitting there hanging out with her knowing that the kids are home alone.

Answer 4

I agree with you. It's not fair to the oldest child. I think it's nice if the older ones *want* to help and can add it in their schedules from time to time, but I don't think it should be mandatory or expected as an everyday responsibility. As you mention, the oldest did not give birth to those children. They aren't her responsibility. Can you talk to your sister about your concern for your niece? Maybe mention that she probably needs a break sometime? Good luck.

Answer 5

In the past everyone in the family looked out for one another, with out any second thought about it. In this case that is a very different story and this is a different time. This is where I would say that I think it's time for you and your parents to step-up and say something, your niece does not deserve to be forced into that much responsibility, and your sister needs to wake TFU, and be responsible for and to her children. And where is the father during all of this?

Answer 6

My mom did the same to me! They need to realize that they are the adults now & have responsibilities! You should take you niece out for dinner & decide that auntie is going to keep her over for a girls night with movies & popcorn! Mom can't ditch the boys & the GIRLS NIGHT lets her know that the boys should be at home for this one!

Works very well on weekends!

Answer 7

Being a parent is rasing your kids not the olders raising them. I would be the adult and say go home and be with your kids. One Day just go pick up your niece for the night. I would just pick all three up and keep them myself. Something bad could happen at home. You never now

Answer 8

Wow.....social services would tear her up! She's irresponsible anyway...3 different dads. She should be at home watching the children. If she can get her own self pregnant she needs to make sure those children are taken care of and not be lazy and pathetic as it seems she is.

Sorry....it just really pisses me off that people keep fcking and then having more kids and they can't take care of them! And it's not just that they can't, it's that they WONT!!!!

Answer 9

How sad for your niece. Have you tried talking to your sister about it. It is really selfish on her part. They are not your niecees children they are your sisters and she needs to be the responsible one and take care of them. Your niece is losing her childhood. I sure hope your sister is on birth control because she does not deserve to be a parent to anymore children.

Answer 10

I think it's a bad thing. Why should the older children be forced to look after the younger children? It is not their responsibility or duity. It's not like the older siblings asked the parents for a younger sibling, and even though they love their younger siblings, they shouldn't be expected or forced to look after them; it's not their responsibility, it's the mother and father's.