Help! The ducks at the pond have formed a suicide cult and they're after my sister!?

Question

No really, they did. My sister didn't know this and tried to save a little duck from certain death and now the ducks have declared war on her for encroaching on their relegious practices. They say their going to come after her in the night with chainsaws and pickaxes. What can I do?

Answer 1

You're right, this is a grave matter indeed, we've been having the same problems here, that is until we went to Peking (China) to find the Holy Peking Roast Duck Recipe. It's an anti-Duck cult scripture.
We shall fight and feast, The war is on, Be brave brother!

Answer 2

This has to be dealt with carefully. Ducks always attack at night so
Collect pollen from flowers of morning glory and put them across window sills doors and other entrance points
This has to be done while you wear a down feather in your belt buckle chanting "Wah Wah Quack Duck Duck stop buck" repeatedly while you are scattering the pollen.

Next you would need two rabbits ears

Also lot of duckfood to sate the ducks

Also sacrifice the ugly duckling that you saved o na oublic altar. Have George Bush's effigy tarred and feathered and burnt for good measure (duck cults take to that kind of thing)

If possible move to argentina but avoid quacks there.

Answer 3

it extremely is super which you probably did this. i'm no longer so constructive no count if it extremely is fairly names that we are referred to as, extra so ideas and ideas. to illustrate, monks are referred to as pedophiles, we worship Mary and the Pope, we are no longer Christians, we are cannibals, we pray to saints, cultists, satanists, and for sure, the whore of Babylon. those impolite, boastful and infantile comments gets them no the place- so I fail to be certain the component for why human beings call us those names. Even after answer after answer pointing out that we don't worship Mary, they nevertheless bypass on pointing out that we do, like they have some divine reason to have faith that. they are basically misinformed- and that's by us Catholics to set those questions on the instant. Ever word while a Protestant asks a query with regard to the Catholic church, many Catholics answer thorough and distinctive solutions, the desirable suited answer- however the Protestant nevertheless selections yet another Protestant answer by using fact the desirable answer? i think of it extremely is ordinary insecurities. all of us recognize that none of those names or claims are authentic, and that i think that searching for the desirable suited solutions from fellow Catholics right here in R&S will in basic terms make us better. Protestants are lacking lots- they are no longer in basic terms lacking the fairly physique and Blood of Christ, they are lacking lots extra, God's authentic presence. ignore with regard to the assaults, because is barely blatant lies.

Answer 4

Call Daffy and Donald. They are very skilled at negotiation, and can probably talk the extremist ducks out of the radical stance they have taken against your sister. Good luck man.

Answer 5

Ever seen a duck with a chainsaw?
I think you both need help

Answer 6

You can try throwing monkey poo at them, I hear that works. We had a problem like that, but it was maniacal squirrels and rabid rabbits that I was up against. They wanted to get me for laughing at them. This is a common problem, especially in places like BritneySpearsCheetos land. I hope you take care of those ducks!

Answer 7

...Duck soup is pretty tasty. Aim for the head though, don't wanna ruin the god meat with shotgun pellets. Wait, there is supposed to be some hidden meaning, right?

Answer 8

You must sacrifice her to save yourself - otherwise you could get all ducked up!

Answer 9

you should join the cult and join them in their hunt against your sister. besides, would you rather have your sister on your side, or a bumch of ducks?

Answer 10

Two words

Duck Soup