What do you do if your child suddenly does not want to go to church? Share your suggestions please.?

Question

Here's the scenario. Your family has always gone to church. It's more than a habit, it is what the family was founded on (the love of Jesus Christ). Suddenly your little girl/boy says to you "I don't want to go to church anymore." What is the best action to take? You relize it could just be a phase or worse, it could be the influence of friends or peers. Or even God forbid, drugs! Then there is the possibility of damaging what you have tried so hard to instill in your child, the love of Jesus Christ. You may be a parent with children who have left the nest, and you have been there done that. Share what your course of action was, and how it affected your family. Next you may be a child who went through something similiar with your parents or gardians. Share how they chose to respond, and how it helped or discouraged your faith in Jesus Christ. You don't know how many other than myself you might help.

Answer 1

Then don't make him/her go. It's his/her life and his/her beliefs.

Answer 2

I think the most important thing is to understand why this child suddenly declares no more church. This means sitting with the child and having a good chat to try and tease out some answers. Hopefully, there has always been a good relationship between you two so that should help.

If that does not work, you need to restate your point about the importance of church and Jesus and christianity and remind him/her of the choices he/she is making.

You also need to get down on your knees and pray!

Also examine yourself. Have you inadvertently made yourself a hinderance to the child?

Finally, only the Holy Spirit convicts the heart so after all this, trust God and just continue to demonstrate love and warmth to the child. It is a difficult situation, but draw strength from God and He will give you the strength and wisdom to deal with the situation

Answer 3

Well, unlike your situation, I stopped going to church when I was 45 years old...mainly because I had questions that needed to be resolved within myself as to the teachings that I had just taken for granted all my life. Since that time I've been on a "quest" for lack of a better term, to find out just what the church means to me & how I feel & how I want to worship. In the past couple of years since my "epiphany" I have read & studied more than I have in years & have about reached the point where I'm ready to go back to church, though I really have my doubts that it will be the same one I grew up in. I guess I've said all that to say this...find out why your child no longer wants to go to church...is it peer pressure, are they having issues with someone there? I think, based on my upbringing, I'd probably make them go as long as they were living under my roof, but you don't say how old the child is, so it's a little harder to say just exactly what the problem may be. If its a small child, there's probably someone bothering them at church, but with a teenager it may just be a simple case of rebellion. I think sitting down & having a heart to heart talk with them might be in order just to find out where they're coming from...but at any rate, you can tell them that as long as they live with you they'll go to church. It may not win you any brownie points, but you're doing what you feel is right for you as a parent trying to teach your child right from wrong. Once they leave your home, they can do what they want & it may not be as you would wish for them but you'll at least know you tried to set a good example for them. I don't know that I've answered your question, but this is a difficult issue. I wish you all the best with this.

Answer 4

What if your child decided to not go to school anymore? What would you do then?
What about not eating vegetables?
Brushing teeth?
Bathing?
Setting the house on fire?

You are the parent, so don't be afraid to be the parent.

If you scold your child for doing something that put's their life at risk (for example, running into traffic) and the child gets angry and cries, does that mean you don't love the child?

My biggest suggestion would be to make a decision as to why you go to church at all. Is it because of family tradition, habit, expectation, or because you want to develop your relationship with the One, the true Living God?

Answer 5

Ohkay. First, DO NOT force them to go. If you do this then you will make going to church a negative thing and they may very well turn out emotions that are against what you want them to love. My parents never made me go to church when I didn't want to, and for that I am entirely thankful. I have grown up to be very spiritual. If they are meant to appreciate the religion that you appreciate, and the love that goes with it, then they will on their own accord. Also, be prepared to accept the fact that your religion may not be for them. It may very well be true, and I don't mean to scare you. There is nothing wrong with that in ANY instance. If they believe in love, then, in your mind they believe in Jesus because Jesus is love to you. For instance, I am Buddhist (though I certainly did not grow up that way and my parents are not). You are not. However, we are both holy and sacred because we both believe in love, which to you is Jesus, which to me is the immediate world/Buddha. Use this as an eye opening experience. It is not sacreligious for your child to be curious of other things. Be supportive and confident that your child can understand what is best for him. Your child's love is worth everything, and your love of him is worth even more.

Answer 6

How old is the child?
The bottom line is you are the parent and it is your decision whether the child goes to church or not. I know it sounds hard but look at the world today. Of course children don't always want to go to church. Most adults don't want to go so they don't and that is the example for the next generation. Watch football, go to a race, sleep till noon, whatever. But don't go to church.
I was raised with zero religious training and I still remember Christmas nights, after the presents had been opened, all the family friends had gone home, it's time for bed, and I knew the one night I felt a little close to God was over. I would cry myself to sleep on Christmas night. I did that many years. No one knew except God. I wanted to know him so desperately but there was no one to tell. No one to ask. When I grew up that desire for God left me. I was an adult and needed nothing from a God who couldn't show himself to a child. I was bitter. But He knew inside that little boy still secretly wanted more.
He sent a man to tell me about the Holy Ghost one day and within a week my life had completely changed. I received the Holy Ghost just as recorded in Acts and I still serve God in every way I can even after thirty years.
Your child needs to be in church whether they think they want to go or not. God can reach them while they are still young. When they grow older their heart will be hard and cold. Mine was, I nearly turned away even though I knew it was Him that night in 1976. The only reason God was able to reach me then was a gentle and wise soul who was (and still is) full of the Holy Ghost and wisdom. She said four words just when all appeared lost. When others had given up and were ready to leave she asked, "Can we just pray?"
Your child may protest and pout and throw a fit, but God doesn't care. He loves that child and he will change their mind. But your household serves God and that includes them. They need to understand that. Rememeber what Joshua said? "But as for me and my house, we shall serve the Lord" (Joshua 24:14).
Let that be your answer.

Answer 7

I would find out why he didn't won't to go. If it was a person or something he didn't like. OR if he was just getting sick of going to church.....
I don't know. If it's a little kid then make it go but if it's a teenager let him stay at home. Pushing it on him might cause problems down the road. You have done all you can do. You took him to church the seed is there. Don't worry. Sometime I don't like going to church....I'm 33
I just make myself. Maybe he's just sick of sitting there or something. I guess if it was my child I wouldn't force them to go every week.

Answer 8

Don't make him go. If your child is old enough to be influenced by friends, then he is old enough to decide about his religion. It might be a phase, but it might not be. And, if it is just a phase, wouldn't you feel awful if you made him go to church and then he learned to resent it and rebelled away from it entirely for the rest of his life? You don't want that burden. Let him decide on his own.

Answer 9

While you may think it horrible to not go to church, this isn't something that is bad. Your child may be exploring his/her own thoughts in there own way, and they may differ from your own.

If you force the religion on a child, he/she will rebel out of the nature of rebellion. Not nessicarily because of the religion.

Don't assume its his/her friends, and also don't assume its drugs. Questioning things in your life is a healthy thing that people do. To take everything as given, would be complete suicide of our people.

Answer 10

From a Christian, that is very hard Buy them a Bible. But you can not make them go, they will only Loath God for it. Check into there friends and find out what curriculum they are teaching in school. But you can always find a Christian private school for them to go to, Find Christin there age. They may learn from them.

Answer 11

try asking them why they don't want to go. maybe they aren't as into the going to church thing. my mom was forced to go when she didn't want to as a child and so she invited us kids to go with her when we got to the age that we began to understand things more. make sure you allow your child to speak their mind. just because a kid doesn't want to go to church doesn't mean that they are doing drugs. let them form their own opinion and be their own person. maybe they don't like the idea of someone telling them how to be a good God loving person.

when churches were established they were meant as a place the community member COULD go to in order to worship. it was NEVER a requirement to go to church. a church is simply as place to go to for prayer and to speak with someone if advice was needed or if you had questions. attending church is not meant to be a required task.