How many people out there have grown up in dysfuntional families? HOw does it make you feel?

Question

I was wondering about this. I grew up in a house where my parents told me how to do everything. they told me how to think ...and i never grew up independent of them til i moved out...anyone have an experience liek this that bothered them ??

i just asked to see how many have been there...dwelling on it makes me sad...i do things to get my mind off of these things...

Answer 1

I grew up very similar. Don't make the mistake of doing things to get back at them, or just because you were never allowed. I finally woke up one morning and realized that my parents might have made me who I was, but they ain't making me who I am. Allow yourself to be that person you always wanted to be but were squelched. Don't worry about making them happy or seeking their approval; you're on your own. Live your own life now and enjoy it.

Answer 2

IMO, 'dwelling on it' doe not solve the unfinished business or relieve the unhealed pain. there are various forms of counseling, support groups, books, etc. that can show you how to finally get over it and heal the buried feelings.

yes, my brother and i were nearly basket cases when we left home as soon as we could. it never dawned on me that we had been neglected and ill trained to live independently til soon after i went into recovery and examined my self.
my brother and i were like two little toddlers out there with all the big people just floundering around and getting either help from better equipped others or sound beatings for our rude/crude behavior. i feel I've come a long way to teach myself how to live but it's still strange to be responsible and accomplished in anything.

Answer 3

Yes, I did (disabled, mostly drunken mother; violent, nearly psycho abusive father).

Well, let's see, I've been fighting a mood disorder or three for 15+ years now and not had a lot of success. The local social service system has its own agenda (shoving "workbooks" at you that were designed by HMO bureaucrats so they can take your money--while not getting you better in the slightest), and for the most part I can't seem to plan jack diddley for the future without *somebody* actively trying to screw me over....

Generally speaking, I feel like I've been screwed out of having a proper life here. Like the game is rigged against people like me ever succeeding in life--yes, I've had jobs, held them down for three years and more, and still been backstabbed out of my dreams. Like I'm being punished for being ALIVE in a world that doesn't want me around, because I don't fit in with the rich guys and "their" society, because I don't want to live my life being "their" good 'lil ditch-digger down on the plantation.

I'm alienated from most people, from my nation, from my culture and from myself. As far as I can tell the world is FUBAR and I have no place in it nor any hope for the future.

Does that cover it?

Answer 4

I grew up in a one parent household. Well it would have been one parent if my mother was actually home. She spent all her time gambling while her four kids were left ot relatives. My sister was with our father's parents. My older brother was with mom's parents. My little brother was with his own father. Well, they ran out of people for me to be left with so I got to sit outside of various gambling establishments and read books. Or otherwise entertain myself. It made me feel very unwanted. That's why now I love myself first. I make sure to take care of me and make sure that I feel good about who I am and where I'm at in life.

Answer 5

A tattoo is so everlasting. Please do not get something with the phrase suicide tattooed on you! In the historic days, we used to only take a rubber band and positioned it round our wrist and after we desired to remind ourself of some thing, or to give up taking into consideration some thing damaging, we simply pulled at the rubberband and gave ourselves a little bit snap with it. If you wish closure approximately your buddy's suicide try, suppose of what you want to mention to her in a couple of phrases, and say it at any time when you wish to have a zap - my favourite is "I forgive you and I forgive myself". I forgive the man or woman for something they did to themself or any individual else, and I forgive myself for feeling badly or terrible approximately it. It's a high-quality closure confirmation. You can google different closure affirmations. Exercise is high-quality for pressure - chiefly stretching, adopted through a scorching bathe while matters have become to be an excessive amount of. 20 mins - breathe deeply, do a couple of physical activities, do a few stretches, bounce within the bathe; that is it.

Answer 6

All of them.

As for me, I feel fine about it. Made me appreciate the things I did for myself. After moving out, it made me appreciate the things that they DID manage to do for me.

Today, my wife and I own our house and live happily with our two dogs. Not so bad for coming from a dysfunctional home. She did too, come to think of it.

Answer 7

I think everybody has had a dysfunctional childhood if they are honest and think about it. Parents can't help it. Parenting skills are passed down. I say put it to rest and don't dwell on it.

Answer 8

Lots.......and it makes me feel....crazzzzzy, but I want you to know that you just need to get over it and move on with your life now and maybe someday you will understand why they did the things they did and become more accepting of it.