An aquaintance of mine wants me to have my father use his contacts in town to put in good words for him to get him a job. Problem is - I wouldn't hire this guy to mow my lawn. He's undependable and lazy. I don't want to ask my dad to give him a good reference because he wouldn't be a good hire - but how do I tell him "no" without sounding too bitchy?
2006-07-30 18:50:44 · 30 answers · asked by chi bebe 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
be honest. Actually it is as simple as that. This person who asked you to ask your father on his behalf has already made his first big mistake. Simply tell him that if he wants your father to be his reference that he will just simply have to ask him himself... talk to your father about it and see if your father doesn't say the same thing. You mentioned that this person is an "aquaintance" not a close friend or family so don't feel too bad about him getting his feelings hurt. This world woud be blessed if more people that includes friends stood up and said the honest things "need" to hear instead of what we "want" to hear... so think of it this way. Who cares if he thinks you sound bitchy... ask your self here you honest with him... that's all that matters :) best of luck in what ever you do.
2006-07-30 18:53:29 · answer #1 · answered by kitkool 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You simply tell him that your dad has a "no reference policy." Meaning he does not provide references for anyone. If you need to you can explain that there are many liabilities involved and your father prefers not to be involved.
2006-07-31 01:56:00 · answer #2 · answered by askme 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with Jared's advice. Or krisisdous'.
Or you can just tell him that you won't refer him. If he asks why, explain in simple and polite terms. If you do this, don't worry about sounding b****y. If he isn't a good worker, then you won't do anyone a favor by referring him.
2006-07-31 01:54:43 · answer #3 · answered by ATWolf 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him your father does not give references to people who have never worked for him.
2006-07-31 01:54:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't your dad just give some sort of reference to the effect of ... "I've known so and so for 20 years ..." and leave it pretty much at that?
2006-08-03 22:43:11 · answer #5 · answered by Samba Queen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you don't feel comfortable asking your father since your father isn't personally aware of the quality of his work. If he says that you can tell your dad for him, tell him your dad would only want first-hand knowledge. If he persists, act offended that he would want you to lie for him... (since that certainly doesn't help his cause)
2006-07-31 01:56:27 · answer #6 · answered by ♪ ♥ ♪ ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him the contacts will not give references for people that they do not personally know.
2006-07-31 01:54:51 · answer #7 · answered by practical thinking 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. With more formal reference letters, you can write a truthful and very lukewarm letter to do the trick for both sides.
2006-07-31 01:55:50 · answer #8 · answered by Arrow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you can set up an interview. When he comes in inform the people not to hire him.
2006-07-31 01:54:51 · answer #9 · answered by emtyen69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say that sorry, your dad won't be able to help him out at this time. If your friend were serious, he would have contacted your dad directly.
2006-07-31 10:27:29 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋