i am depressed serious answers only please?

Question

i am to the point that i'm tired of fighting with my weight i'm a big guy pretty much allways have been my entire adult life i'm tired of being the nice guy who allways looses when it comes to women.when i look around and see other guys who treat there women like dirt and they stay and i can't seem to find anyone i'm divorced and haven't been able to really trust another woman.my ex cheated on me .i go to work and come home and i put on the happy face for everyone but its tearing me up inside sometimes i wish i would just not wake up in the morning i dont want to go see a psyciatrist because they just want to shove you full of happy pills and i dont want to wander around in a false state of happy.how has anyone else delt with problems like mine.and what did you do to get through them?

ok i said serious answers pls and no i don't want to take the happy pills either

ok to everyone but the first three who answerd thank you all i just need some time to take in everyones advice

Answer 1

First, you just keep putting one foot in front of the other. This may sound weird, but try to find somewhere to volunteer where you can help other people. Getting your focus off of your own problems can really help. It's not a "See, others have it worse than you!" thing. It's just doing something for someone else. And don't totally discount the usefulness in the short term of the happy pills. They can sometimes get you over the roughest patches until you're ready to cope.

Answer 2

It could be as simple as being overweight is causing you to be depressed therefore if you lose some weight you'll feel better. However, there could be another underlying reason why you're feeling how you are. My advice is to see a good medical doctor (not a psychiatrist). Find a doctor who will look for the root cause of your feelings -- it could be a hormonal imbalance, a vitamin deficiency, or a lack of certain amino acids. All of these problems are very common and can make you feel depressed. They also can be remedied naturally with supplements. Find a good medical doctor on this website: http://www.alternativementalhealth.com It's run by Safe Harbor and helps people solve their emotional issues naturally.

Whatever you do don't go to a psychiatrist or take any psychiatric medications. Psychiatristic drugs are very dangerous. Over 100,000 Americans have been killed by just one category of psychiatric drugs while many more have been permanently paralyzed or committed suicide from psychiatric drugs -- Prozac now carries a "black box warning" saying that it causes an increased risk of suicide.

Also don't believe anyone who tells you this is caused by a "chemical imbalance." If someone says that you should ask them, "gee, where's the test for that." Guess what? There is none. Chemical imbalance theory is nothing but quackery, and can't be proven by ANY objective medical test. I went to a psychiatrist once and while under their care I had the worst year of my life. I strongly recommend not getting mixed up with one of those quacks. Then I saw a doctor from the Safe Harbor "Alternative Mental Health" website that I linked to above and since then I've been much better.

Answer 3

Okay, happy pills are not really happy pills. They do not dull your senses or cover any of life's stresses. Many people are disappointed when a medication does not give them a euphoric feeling, so no false happiness. However, if you are depressed, it may behoove you to talk to someone about your feelings (professional). It is not weak to take an antidepressant or talk to someone, in your particular case I would say quite the opposite. As far as your weight goes, it's unhealthy to be overweight so don't give up the fight. You know the rules, eat less, move more, I hate that saying, but it is true. Your cheating ex, it's very hard to trust again after being burned, and being betrayed by someone who is suppose to love and protect you is extremely devastating, yet again, talk to someone, a good therapist can really help you get through this hard time. Do not feel obligated to put on a happy face, everyone is entitled to have crap days. Sometimes life is hard and basically sucks, however remember you will laugh again, you will fall in love again, and it would really be a shame to miss out on the best time you haven't had yet.

Answer 4

Fortunately, I found a wonderful psycologist about 6 yrs ago after many years of depression. I didn't want to take medication either; felt there was some sort of stigma that went along with it. He encouraged me to take it and it has really helped. It doesn't make you "falsely happy". Happy is up to you actually. If you are chemically depressed, medicine is what will get you on the right track. Be thankful that there is meds to help with these problems. I am over- weight too and have been for many years. The only solution there is to eat less and move more........or let me say eat better!!! More of the non-processed foods ........fresh stuff. I know that is hard but you will feel better really. I have been exercising over a year now regularly with a girlfriend; and I haven't lost that much but it sure makes me feels better physically and mentally. Please find a doctor to help you feel better about YOU!

Answer 5

Please understand that taking a mood elevator might be referred to as a happy pill and I see you want to do more to change your life than that. That is most admirable.

Taking medication for depression corrects a chemical imbalance and is quite different. Think of it as analogous to a diabetic taking insulin. The chemistry needs to be corrected. Correcting the chemical imbalance of clinical depression can help with counseling, too. Too often when one summons the courage to go to a counselor and remains in depression, it is almost impossible to process and "hear" the teaching of learning new and more positive coping mechanisms and tools.

You sound like a really caring guy who has a lot to offer.
I really hope you will give consideration to medication for depression. It will help in making decisions about weight loss, also. Many internists will treat depression, but, a psychiatrist is the specialist on getting the right medication for depression. This is much different than a false state of happy. The correction of the chemical imbalance is gradual and takes from a month to six weeks. You do not feel an immediate "buzz" (as some others have aptly described) You will realize one day that you just don't feel so bad - and the bad is less and less. You still feel a full range of feelings and can feel bad at things that would be appropriate for.

I had a terrible time when my marriage broke up and I can tell you I was in such a deep depression that had I not gotten help from medication, I probably would not be here today. (and I put on a lot of weight at that particular time)

I really hope you will re-think medication for depression and counseling. My best wishes to you in whatever you decide.

Answer 6

Rough man. I tried drinking for a while, but that just left me with a constant headache, poor reflexes, and a constant desire to hurt others. Not exactly an ideal solution, and not something I could afford in the long run.

This sadly is not the sort of thing that a quick answer will solve. You need someone to comiserate with. My experiences weren't exactly on the overweight-and-divorced scale, but you could drop me a line if you want. Frankly, I'd reccomend going out with your friends for some quality male-bonding time.

Getting some aggression out might help too. I used to really enjoy going down to the firing range to make loud explosions, and rip holes through paper. A .45, or a 20 gauge shotgun might provide a satisfying kick... if used safely. If you're having thoughts of death, keeping them in your home may not be such a good idea though.

Frankly, the happy pills might be useful for a little while. I had a roommate that tried them, and they really helped. He wasn't in a stupor, or dumb, or anything... He was still him, just without such an enormous rage against humanity.

If you're not down for that (and I'd be scared to take pills myself!) you might look into a Psychologist, who can do the head shrinking stuff, but doesn't do the pills. Or a group therapy, which seems to be pretty useful, simply because it allows you to be with people you can learn to trust. A friend of mine is really into a process called "Psychodrama," which is sort of a play-acting for adults. It's not for everyone, I'll admit that, and it takes some getting used to, but it's pretty good if you can find anyone doing it. I know a few folks in Southern California, if you're around there and interested. One of them will even do it for free, but he's retired, and not so sharp anymore. I guess you get what you pay for, more or less.

Whatever you do, finding someone to talk to can be a big help, even if you hate talking to people. Maybe there's a few people youi know that you can let slide the fact that you aren't as happy as you pretend to be.

Answer 7

I know exactly where you are coming from. I am heavy as well and have been most of my adult life. Other people see me as bubbly and outgoing but sometimes I feel like crap on the inside. About 4 years ago my depression and anxiety got the best of me and I had no choice but to go to my family doctor. The medication he put me on balances out a chemical imbalance that I had had for some time. I don't feel a buzz or sleepy from what I take and I am not in a false state of happiness. What this does for me is makes things not sooo bad and I don't overreact as much. Wellbutrin is an antidepressant that has a low risk of sexual side effects and I can cause loss of appetite. So, If you are looking to lose some weight and feel better ask your doctor about that med. Don't feel bad about asking for help. It has been one of the best decisions I have ever made. I could not stand myself and neither could anyone else. Now I feel more like myself again and you deserve to feel the same way. Good luck to you and God bless.

Answer 8

Wow, those are no where near funny answers. Physc docs do not always fill you with pills. They tailor their medical treatment around your requests, i suggest working with a doctor who understands your wants and needs towards the type of life you want. There is no point in shutting out avenue's you havn't completely tried. Hurting yourself or anyone else will not help. As for women i suggest finding a woman with interest in things that you already have interests in or taking an interest in things a woman you like has interest in. There are also many ways to go about loosing weight. But definatly seek medical help if you think you need it. Good luck and please be safe.

Cpl Rush
US Army Combat Medic

Suicide is a permenant soliution to a temporary problem dont make that mistake.

Answer 9

If your weight is your problem, why not do something about it. You can wellow in self pitty for ever but if you really want change you have to seek it. It sounds like you are making excuses to yourself which from an outsiders view point seems to be a little self distructive.

From your little note above you seem to attribute your woes to your weight so if this seems to be the root cause of your unhappiness then do somthing about it.

It's not easy and it won't happen over night but nothing in life worth having is given away for free.

You think you have problems. A good friend of mine lost his wife to depression shortly after the birth of their first child. He had two choices. Wellow in self pitty or get on with it.

This is your choice as well. You can spend the rest of your life thinking about how everyone has it better than you or you can choose to help yourself.

Your eyes are in the front of your head so you can see where you are going, not where you have been.

Decide to change and do it with a smile on your face.

Good luck with your decission.

Answer 10

First of all, you must understand that depression is a real, treatable illness and you may need real medical treatment. Your comment about psychiatrists and happy pills may be a product of lack of information, or prejudice, or even of your depression itself. If your own biochemistry is "off" then it's the depression that's "false" (abnormal), and the improvement that you'd get with correct medication that would be real. A psychiatrist is a medical doctor who will determine if depression is your problem, or if it's something else, or both.

As for how others have dealt with problems like yours, well, people who understand that they are ill go to doctors, even when they'd rather not think of themselves as ill. I've spoken with friends, even doctors, who've had depression and expressed the same reluctance that you have to depend on medication. Unfortunately, that sentiment seems to be one of the challenges of your condition.