Ive been with the same guy for over 2 years, we had a fight & I said, so do you want to be with me or what? He said yes, Ive told you before I want to be with you but if I wind up single the rest of my life, it wont kill me. He said the difference between he & I is that I need other people to rely on & he doesnt .Is he appathetic about his feelings or what the hells his problem? No mean answers, please!
2006-07-30 18:00:56 · 26 answers · asked by Ashley 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It means he can take it or leave it. Yes he desires you to be in his life but no he is not going to beg you.
He sounds independent and he seems to be painting you as dependent.
2006-07-30 18:03:53 · answer #1 · answered by Michael JENKINS 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't want this to rub you the wrong way... I have so been in your shoes, so I'm speaking from experience here... not trying to be judgemental. It sounds to me-- "so do you want to be with me or what?" --- that you are giving him ultimatums, like your saying if he wants to be with you he will (blank)... whatever it is you haven't mentioned that like us he probably doesn't even know. I once read a book on relationships (of any kind) and the first sentance of the first chapter was, "What's my favorite color?" The author then suggested we remember our answer and continue reading. He spoke aimlessly for a few pages about his childhood and his favorite cars and similar things. The next chapter began, "Did you guess fushia?" (As I'm sure a very small portion of the readers did like I did not) it hit home when he said, "I didn't think so. Your mate is no more pyschic than you are and so they can't be expected to know what you expect from them. You must tell them what you want if you want them to know." Those words ring in my ears every single time I'm upset with my husband for not doing something I think he should know to do.
You say that you tell him, "If I wind up single the rest of my life it wont kill me." How do you think that might make him feel? If it were me I would feel like nothing I did would ever make you happy to be with me... that would really hurt. I would want for my mate to appreciate every moment that they spend with me... even when things aren't great, just knowing that we will be doing them together would be nice to hear.
After reading and rereading your question I am asking you if YOU really want this relationship to work or do you think that maybe there is another person more suitable for you? That is not an answer I have, only you know the answer to that one. I truly hope for the both of you that you find it in your heart to either give your heart to him or return his to him. As I said before, I am speaking from experience, I don't mean to hurt your feelings in any way.
Best wishes
2006-07-31 01:17:06 · answer #2 · answered by colorist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you are going to know this person better than any of us, so in the end, you should trust your instinct.
I'd say though, that this is one of two things.
Either you are correct and this person has no heart to speak of, and if so, you probably should look elsewhere for someone to share eternal love with.
The other option though is that he was just angry and lashing back. It's the nature of a fight that we say things that we don't really mean as a way to get back at the other person, to hurt them. The people who are closest to us know us better than anyone else, and thus they are going to be the masters of hurt if they put any effort into it.
I hope that this helps and that you find a solution.
Buddhadan
2006-07-31 01:05:11 · answer #3 · answered by buddhadan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem is your going with him. Sound like he is very insensitive to your feelings. Some guys think they are cool by being aloof when down inside they may really care. The young ones usually act like that because they are afraid to show feelings. That goes away with age most of the time. look for someone who shows you how much they care. It sounds like that's what you need.
2006-07-31 01:09:56 · answer #4 · answered by johnnyzts 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOOK you need some one like your self a little bit more. And you also need some one whom respects your feelings. You need some one you can talk too as well.I THINK you need to pray and find some one else or your just going to be right back to square one with this guy. TRUST ME THERE is some one 4 him as well. BUT you also need some one to care about you OK? hug gs star ox xox
2006-07-31 01:05:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
coming from a guy trying to interpret his answer ...he is stating ..he really doesnt care if hes with you or not..when yall fight be probably throws this out at you...but he really does need you...i act like that all the time...when my gifrleidn and I split up for a week...I felt sickest ive ever felt...just let us puff our chest well be alright as long as you stick by our side.
2006-07-31 01:05:09 · answer #6 · answered by Jason D H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he thinks your a bit clingy and if you keep acting like this, you'll end up single cause no-one wants you.
I too need other people around me - although can get by on my own. you need to show him you are capable of living your own life and comfortable with your relationship.
If you do end up single - just remember there are plenty of men out there - some who love women who r like us!!
2006-07-31 01:04:35 · answer #7 · answered by schmushe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well he is just say that he does want to be with u but i fthat relationship ends that he wont go out looking for another person and tat u need ppl to rely on /support u so yeah !!!
2006-07-31 01:03:37 · answer #8 · answered by Kali Gavette 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe u should try keepin ur feelings &problems between u 2, the more u communicate about ur problems the closer u 2 will be. =) good luck
2006-07-31 01:03:00 · answer #9 · answered by ♥SexylOve16♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he has a serious problem and needs help to learn how to control his anger. I am thinking he might be done with you and it may be better if you move on.
2006-07-31 01:03:55 · answer #10 · answered by kf4wwe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋