What can I do with my daughter?

Question

My four year old daughter does not listen to me when hre daddy is away. What can I do to make her listen? Spanking her doesnt work. Trying to put her in the corner or anything like that doesnt either....HELP

Answer 1

Get her invovled in activites that you can do together. Find something that she enjoys. Take toys away when she is being naughty, TV, etc. Tell her that YOU are the mommy and you make the rules for the house and that she needs to be a good girl and listen.

Answer 2

Plain and simple the child is feeling the left behind feeling. If away u mean by gone a couple of days at a time or a regular 9-5 job. Then you need to address the reason she is not listening to you. Is it because its something she doesn't want to to at the moment, or is it because she would rather be with dad than picking up her toys. You have to always reassure her that daddy will be right back and until then we are gonna have some girl time. Get on her level. Participate in her funny pretend moments. Allow her to play at the park or in the yard. If she can follow simple commands she can understand a routine. Give her a sturdy routine plan for example, Wake up brush teeth, call Dad if he's not home while mommy makes breakfast, have pretend school,(it'll get her ready because she should be starting school next year), about 30 minutes of t.v. about an hour at the park, lunch time, nap time, wake up, call dad again, snack time, more mommy and daughter activities, dinner time, favorite show time, bath time, call daddy again, and then bed time. But try to keep dad in the routine so she can feel some type of wholeness. I think she is acting out because dad is away more than she would like.

Answer 3

Focus on positives. I had a rough spell when my daughter was three. I bought a notebook, stickers, stamps, etc. I divided her day up into about 6 parts. If she had a good spell, she got a sticker (or stamp) for that period of time. If by the end of the day, she had more bad than good, she got a special treat ( a sucker, a $1 toy, whatever she values). It's very hard for any child to have an entire good day, and so the divisions. Plus, they love to see something concrete like that. Oh, if she wasn't good, I simply drew a sad face in that part. It really did work.

Other than that, I hate to be the one to say it, but it sounds as if she has no respect for you. Trust me, NOW is the time to figure that one out as it will only snowball from here. Respect from children is only earned when you respect them first, love them in a way they know you love them, and finally demanding respect. That final part is pretty complicated, but others have made some good outside suggestions (Dr. Phil, etc.). By the way, the taking away of everything but the bed and dresser, classic Dr. Phil and a very good idea. Let her earn her things back by behaving, but again, only in increments, otherwise she'll only get frustrated. Wishing you the best, and yes, at this age, spanking should be pretty much out, find her currency (another Dr. Phil"ism"). In other words, find out what makes her happy and by the same token, what makes her unhappy (reward and punishment).

Answer 4

Make sure when you tell your daughter to do something she is looking right at you with no distraction, that way there is no confusion over the fact that she did not here you. My daughter is three and she went through a phase where she would not listen to neither her father nor I. So I kept her busy during the day. When it is time to vacuum I let her use the vacuum hose to "help" me clean. When it's time to cook dinner she helps me to cut the veggies. (I give her a small cutting board and a small butter knife) If you make her feel useful and keep her busy, it gives her less time to misbehave. It sounds really hard, and it is difficult, but try it for a week. Do not punish for being bad, but instead reward her for being good. Do crafts, finger paint, start a vegetable garden. Things that keep her busy, teach her responsibility, and things that you can praise her for. It is difficult but with a hell of a lot of patience and time, things will get better. And don't beat yourself up, every parent (whether they'll admit it or not) has lost patience and control and spanked their child. Don't make yourself feel horrible just try to be more patient. We've all been there. Good luck.

Answer 5

Try doing what her daddy does when she misbehaves. You definitely want to keep on the same track at this age. If her father does not discipline her then there is a problem. With my daughter at that age I would take away privileges and not get her anything that she wants if she misbehaves with me. But time out works with me and corners too. It is especially important to start when they understand that they are doing something wrong.

Answer 6

I guess you have to be patient with her, since she is only 4 years old. Spanking or beating won't help in this situation.
Try to communicate with her and make sure that you penalize her when she does not listen to you, and the penalty is not to slap or spank her, but to make her understand that she hurts your feeling when she is does not listen to you, and when she listens to you and behave properly make sure that you appreciate that and also let her know that how proud you are of your daughter.

Answer 7

BE CONSISTENT! What does she do, I think you should make a chart called Crime & Time, it should look like this...


Crime-----------------Time
Talking Back (Number of Miutes in Time Out)
Hitting (Number of Miutes in Time Out)
Spitting (Number of Miutes in Time Out)
(Things she does bad) (Number of Miutes in Time Out)

That list could go on depending on the child.

When the dad comes home have her tell him exactly what she did and why she did it, kids hate to admit there faults. Be sure that if she does something really bad make sure that her punishment fits the crime.Be strict, take more and more things away until she has only a bed and clothes and desk. Don't let her sweet talk you, if she slaps/hits/spit/lies/kicks/talkback to you, show her that you do not tolerate it and make sure she apoligizes, sometimes you have to be super strict to get her to listen, don't think your a bad parent, your only a bad parent if you do nothing.

Good-Luck and be sure she apoligizes for ALL of her faults.

Answer 8

Have been having the same problem with my almost 4 year old son. His Dad is deployed. I wish I had some advice for you, but I am at a loss as well.

Answer 9

Try and play with her. While playing tell her what ever you want her to do. For example; You want her to eat make two dish exactly same and challenge her that you will eat faster than her. And than you try to go slow while she thinks you are trying fast to finish the dish. Let her win. Same thing for going to the bed, challenge her that you will put your night gown first and you will be hit the bed first and will go sleep b4 her...she will do every thing to beat you. And you will be 1 happy mother.

Answer 10

Please do not spank your child. To help her undertand you, get down to her level, or put her on your lap, and talk to her face to face. Make it very clear in words she can understand what you want her to do and don't give her more than 2 instructions at a time (go upstairs and get your shoes). Praise her when she does listen but it is very important that you talk to her directly and give her simple instructions.