Can I have some serious answers please?

Question

My boyf's older sister (now 20) just recently became pregnant, and I'm having trouble dealing with that for some reason. Suddenly, I HATE her (even more than usual) and want to know EVERYTHING about pregnancies. Also, I'm always sad now and think about my real mother that I never see. I'm so mad that I don't have my mother to talk about this kind of stuff with! Why do you think that I feel this way and how do I stop?!

Answer 1

Jealousy. The attention isn't and won't be focused on you. Get over it.

Answer 2

If she is pregnant what is your problem,why hate her ?And where does your mother fit in the picture ? Just relax sweetheart,cool down,in fact you should be happy that you will be an Aunt soon,There will be a toddler in the house to keep everyone busy.
You have not mentioned,but, assuming you may be unable to conceive you may be feeling like this,so you are getting worked up. Take things positively.Get yourself and your B/F a medical check up. Spend sometime together alone chatting,talking of your days work at office at home involve yourself in family activities.
And yes I do understand how you feel of not haveing your mother with you,she would surely give you some good advice,for there is no one greater than a mother to understand her children and to explain and make her children understand what is right and wrong.
Also sit back and imagine when you get pregnant if your b/f's sister has this same bitter feeling for you how will you feel.Will you not wish that all be happy for your pregnancy and take care of you during those days. Talk to your b/f's sister,congratulate her, take care of her,you will feel better give it a try.
"Do unto others as you wish others do unto you"

Answer 3

Your bf's sister's pregnancy has brought up emotional issues about your own mother that you had suppressed.

The best way to deal with it is to talk to a professional about it. If you're under 18, your high school counselor should be able to help you, or at least point you in the right direction. If you're over 18, a college counselor could do the same, or a psychiatrist would be able to assist you if you're not in college.

I also suggest you don't take advice from anyone on this post about this subject, unless they are advising you to talk to a professional. Any advise given from a person who is not trained in your type of problem (any counselors or psychiatrist will have at least a college education based around dealing with similar issues) could lead to worse problems than you already have, and there is no way to verify that someone is trained unless you see them in person.

And don't feel ashamed or embarrassed to seek out help. Everyone, no matter who they are, will come across at least one issue in their lives where getting professional help is beneficial. The differences between those that seek it and those that don't is the courage to face your problems.

Answer 4

Not having a mother can be a difficult thing to deal with.

I was raised by an aunt and uncle that raised me like their own child. I ended up calling my aunt "Mom", but she got very sick when I was 14 and died when I turned 21. It was a painful loss for me, and for a long time I was jealous of how my cousins got to enjoy the benefit of being close to their mothers when I had lost mine twice.

Babies are gifts from God. Even you. I'm sorry you don't feel you were loved when you were growing up. Please understand that your boyfriend's sister deserves every bit of joy from becoming a mother.

One day, it will be your turn, and I'm sure you'll be a far better mother than your own.

Answer 5

you may "hate" her more because she is becoming a mother.
That brings up feelings about your mother. there is alot of negativity there in that particular circumstance. you may not even realize the link between the 2 because its in your sub-conscience,
if your relationship with your mother cannot be mended then maybe consider talking to a councilor, alot of people have spoken to them for one reason or another and it does not mean you are bad or crackers - it just means you have some emotional upsets that need sorting.

My sister has 2 children which my mum has custody of - i feel an anger towards her as i have had many miscarriages and just want to complete my family, and people like her, who cant appreciate children and the meaning of the word family just really anger me.

so just talk to someone who can help you with ur feelings. good luck and i hope it all work out for u.

Answer 6

I'm no expert but it sounds to me like you could be a little jealous, in fact it sounds like you could be REALLY jealous! Why are you blaming her for you not seeing your mother(don't think she has anything to do with that). There's that possibility that you could be wanting a baby and she's getting it first? Or that this new nephew for your boyfriend is getting "some" of the attention that you once had? Good Luck on resolving this issue.

Answer 7

Did you hate her before she ever became pregnant? I think you just hate her because you're jealous. You pretty much answered your own question though. It definitely has something to do with your relationship with your own Mom too. I don't know how you would stop that feeling though. If you like her, you should be happy for her because that baby's gonna be a part of your life just as well considering you're dating his/her uncle ;-)

Answer 8

well i kno how it feels not to be able to talk to your mother bout things cuz i just lost mine last year. But you can talk to ur closest friends bout it & how you feel. I think that you should talk to your boyfriend to find out what is goin on with her pregnacy or figure out your differences with her and become some what friends. You probably dont hate her you just have emotions that are so mad at her that make you think that.

Answer 9

You can't put the blame on someone else because you never see your mother (for whatever reason) You should be happy that everyone involved in the pregancy is happy and well

Answer 10

well, im sorry i cant tell u how to stop feeling this way, but its probably just because your jealeous that this kid is going to have theyre mother, and u never see yours. u shouldnt hate her though for this. just dont think about it and maybe it wll go away. im really not COMPLETELY sure if this is really anything to do with your question, but its what came to mind. sorry if it was a waste. but good luk with it, and try your best not to hate her.

Answer 11

pregnancy symbolizes family, bonding, relationships, new growth, etc. and it sounds like you are sad about some broken relationships in your life, so maybe seeing your bf's sis being pregnant makes you sensitive about what you are missing. my advice would be to try to make yourself feel whole by making sure you have worked through your anger/sadness issues about your mom. maybe talking to a counselor would help. you deserve to feel good. good luck.