She has had Alzhiemers for several years now...and is now is the in last stage of the disease... my mother whom is the youngest of 8 children promised my grandfather before he died that she wouldn't put her into a nursing home until she absolutly had to. my grandmother has lived with us now for 4-6 months and she has gradually just gotten worse .. and for us its almost like she's more of a burden than anything... and that's a terrible feeling.. well tonight she got out of her bed and stood by the door took off her "brief" and put it in the trash... then proceeded to urinate on the floor in her room... for me this is the last straw... I am 18 weeks pregnant and am in no way emotionally prepared to deal with the many aspects of her disease and my pregnancy as well... so my question is this do u think that putting her in a nursing home is wrong or like breaking the promise we made to my grandpa?
2006-07-30 17:49:58 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Other - Diseases
it's the best thing for everybody, because eventually without constant supervision your grandma could end up hurting herself... at the sound of your description, that could happen any day now. my grandma was also put in a nursing home, of course she hated it at first, but in truth not much more than she was bothered by being with us. she knew that she was a burden, she didn't feel "at home" at either place... so the nursing home was a bit like the lesser of two evils.
also, once your baby comes, it would be too much to be taking care of TWO dependents, TWO helpless individuals. It's too much for non-professionals to handle.
in another note though, please do a lot of research about where you leave her. get referrals, do interviews, talk to families of patients. the first nursing home we put her in almost killed her by mixing up her medications. after some research, we learned this happened more than the staff previously had admitted.
2006-07-30 17:57:44 · answer #1 · answered by Karen H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may put her in a Nursing Home. It is the right thing to do. They can care for her better. Do your research, make sure it is a good place, visit her often. You control your life, you are pregnant, do not feel that you are forced to do something you do not want to for your grandfather. He wants you to be happy (she will), and he wants you to be happy. You MUST do what makes you happy. He would understand. He would forgive you. He certainly did not mean for you to ruin your life to care for your grandma when you can put her in a safe, comfortable, nurturing environment where she needs to go. It is "absolutely necessary" to do so for your well-being, happiness, and sanity. You are not even breaking your promise. You did the best you could. You went above and beyond what was required and did better. That's all anyone can ask. You are the judge of yourself and your actions, not Grandpa, not God, not Grandma, not others on Yahoo Answers. Do what you think you need to do for your well-being and your child. She will be better off there anyhow. Do not keep in the house. No matter how sad it sounds, you are going to be overwhelmed soon. Grandpa would not want you to die an early death due to undue stress.
2006-07-30 17:59:06 · answer #2 · answered by surfer2966 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where is the rest of your family? Can't they help?
My grandmother is 76 and has Alzheimer's. She's done everything from throwing her clothing away to collapsing in a fit of despair because she thought my grandfather was out to get her. Really this is up to you. But if you don't have the resources to take care of her, then being in a nursing home would probably be better for her than being neglected and/or resented at home. Just be sure to visit her OFTEN if you do place her in a nursing home...even if she doesn't recognize you, she still needs your love and support. Good luck and God Bless.
2006-07-30 17:59:10 · answer #3 · answered by Crys H. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom promised your grandfather that she would not put her into a nursing home until it was absolutely necessary. It sounds like that point has very likely been reached, including for the safety of your grandmother. You can't watch her all the time - a facility with round-the-clock caregivers can and will.
No, it wouldn't be wrong. But you definitely have to consider how your mom feels about it. She might have to struggle with the decision for awhile - if so, do all you can to support her and help her to not feel guilty.
2006-07-30 17:57:28 · answer #4 · answered by Judy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is time to put your Grandmother where she can be taken care of professionally, but if youre still worried about your promise to her husband, why not hire a nurse to come help out during the day, so you can relax?
Good luck, and best wishes for a happy, healthy baby!
2006-07-30 17:55:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he knows what u are dealing with...he would do the same...this is way past what you can do for her...she is not safe either unless in a Alheimers ward...what if she walks out the door? Its a safety issue now....what if something happens to her in your care...u would feel worse you are doing whats best for her...you have to deal with it and look at it that way...it seems like its about you...but from what u describe her safety is at risk so now is the time to act....
2006-07-30 17:55:32 · answer #6 · answered by dp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that it would be a good idea to put her in a home but make sure its a good 1 as for the promise being broken i think its ok because ur mom said when ur grandma needed it and it sounds like she needs it bad
2006-07-30 17:55:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there. My heart goes out. But put her where she needs to be right now. Grandpa would certainly agree.
2006-07-30 17:55:22 · answer #8 · answered by badbear 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋