Should I take care of my daughter (with another woman) if my wife hates her and says that she isn't mine?

Question

I had a baby with another woman, during a time that I left my wife, not my wife says the baby is not mine and that i sould not pay child support. Should i pay child support and make my wife unhappy or should i forget about my daughter and move on?

Answer 1

if that is your child you have to take care of her. if you are not sure if she is yours or not, get a dna test. but dont just forget about her. your daughter is gonna hate you when she is old enough to understand what you did to her mother and her.

Answer 2

I say, try to get the 'best' of both worlds. Even though you weren't with your wife while you had sex and got another woman pregnant, she probably still sees it, regardless of explanation and reason, as infidelity. She may understand that she has no right to yell at you for it, but she is still angry about it, so shows her anger in other ways. You may be looking towards a long 'sentence' of her, maybe even subconscious punishment, and it won't be a cruise for your wife either, she may be suffering from jealousy, and that burns deep and does lasting damage to relationships, true and real lasting damage.

That being said, I feel it is not right to turn your back on your daughter. If you want to be a part of your daughter's life, then be there for her, as much as you can, without interacting with the mother.

Regardless of which you choose to do, your wife probably feels you owe her or that you have made a transgression, even if she can't claim that. To salvage happiness, I think it doesn't matter whether you choose to support the daughter or not. Maybe the little girl will win over your wife, maybe the other mother will lose custody~ you never know what happens, but no matter what, you got a mission ahead of you---

Do something, anything, everything, to show your wife your sorry for what she perceives as your transgression. It doesn't matter that you can 'legally' get away with it. You got some sorries to say, and act out. Be extra romantic. A new child with your wife may show her how committed you are. You know your wife better than I do, I think you know what you need to do, and it needs to be long term.

Answer 3

This shouldn't even be a thought in your mind. A child is the best thing in the entire world and women come and go (as you've seen) don't listen to anyone who ever "hates" anyone, especially a daughter or child. She is just jealous and your daughter represents another person who was in your life. Most people are very jealous and it can overwhelm them. I dont know why you would want to be with someone who hates anyone else that did nothing to do with them and who you love. If you view her as your daughter than this new woman should have respect for you and your past. This is something you would always regret if you let a daughter go for someone else, especially someone who this other woman sounds like. Try to talk to her and help her understand this daughter doesn't mean you love her any less. Hope that helps!

Answer 4

I think you already know what you should do, TAKE CARE OF YOUR BABY!! Don't ruin her life because you made a mistake, this is your chance to make something good come out of this situation by you being a good father! Furthermore this is 2006, get a paternity test already and put you and your wife's questions to bed about the baby's paternity. As for your wife, she needs to accept the fact there is an innocent child who didn't ask to be here. If she can't find it in her heart to forgive you (which is her right) she needs to move on. But don't let ANYONE stop you from doing what you know is right.

Answer 5

If you have doubts she is your daughter, get some DNA tests done which will confirm whether or not you are her dad. Whatever age is your daughter, she probably feels that your new wife does not love her much. That can't be good for her. Would you see yourself abandoning your flesh and blood for a woman who seems to be somewhat jealous or has some serious issues with your daughter?
That woman might leave you one day but you'll always be the Father of your little girl. We should always put our children first. Take good care of your daughter until you know what's going on for sure.

Answer 6

Whatever you do should be in the best interest of your child. If she is your child then take care of her. If your wife cannot accept that you had a baby with someone else then she needs to move on with her life or you need to leave her. Your daughter now needs to be your first priority. I am not saying that you have to get with your daughters biological mother but at least assume responsibility for your actions. Good luck.

Answer 7

After the DNA test confirms that is definitely, in every shape or form your child,it'll be best to pay child support. Tak the DNA test not just for your irritated wife, but to prove to any that doubt it,that that is your child. If your don't pay the child support, then the payments you don't make will "roll over," and you'll have bigger problems than worrying about making your wife unhappy.If you don't pay child support and that is your child, thaen she'll throw it in your face whenever she can. And you'll be known as a bad parent to that child, her mother,and YOURSELF, if you "just forget about" someone you helped create that had no input of the current situation she was born into.

Answer 8

You can get a paternity test and maybe that would shut your wife up. If this is your daughter then you need to be there for her in every way. This child did not ask to be born into all of this mess that you grown people have created here. Step up to the plate and be a real dad.

Answer 9

First things first get a paternity test to verify that your daughter is in fact yours. This will determine if you have to pay child support or not. My husband never got a parternity test now we both are paying for what he failed to do in the first place. For yours and your wife's peace of mind get a paternity test. Wouldn't you like to know for sure? If you find out that your daughter is yours then do the right thing and pay child support. It's better to volunteer to pay it than for the courts to make you pay it.

Answer 10

As they say, 2 wrongs don't make a right. You are morally, ethically, and legally responsible for this girl if she's yours. I say first get tested and make sure she's yours. Don't take the woman's word for it. It's your right to ask for this. Of course, I don't know how your wife claims omniscience in this.

So let's assume she is yours. Paying child support is not an option. Will your wife be any happier if you're in jail (actually, she might)?

I have a friend in a similar situation. I respect his decision to be part of his child's life. It does make things uncomfortable at times, but it is the right thing to do.

I'm sure it makes your wife unhappy. This will be a constant reminder of your screw-up. But if you sired her, you must take your proper role in her life.

Answer 11

Well, in my opinion, you should pay child support for your daughter. If your wife wanted to have proof, then take a DNA test. That will provide all the evidence and clear all suspicions. After all that IS your child, no matter what, you should never abandon her.