I am in a situation where the guy I would like to be my boyfriend is really wrapped up in work and does not talk to me for long periods of time. He goes into "work mode" and does not talk to anyone, not even his own mom. Right now we are in a gray are between friendship and romance. He is very scared of getting into a new relationship because the last one he was in he was very hurt. I have been waiting around, and don't really want to anymore. I have found whenever I e-mail him and say I am going out on a date with a really cute guy, he will snap right back and call me up. I hate playing games, but I am at the end of my rope. I thought if I e-mailed him and said that I had met this really cool guy that was really hot and that wanted to take me out, maybe it would work? I don't know, it just seems like the only way right now. What do you think?
2006-07-30 16:52:41 · 22 answers · asked by Rose 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, you know how to get his attention....the key thing is, though, you need to figure out if he works like this, to protect himself, or if he's always like this.
If he's too focused on work, you need to sit down, and ask him, is there room in your life for me? Or ask him, should I just buy a plant to talk to?
I know a lot of great girls, that got stuck, settling for a workaholic, and it's a shame...in a few years they break up, but it costs them a few years to learn the mistake. Find out what he's willing to do, to make it work, and if it's not enough, tell him. communication is the number one thing you need to do....and if anything, corner him one night, break his concentration, and get into his mind...and find out what you need to know. Good luck.
2006-07-30 16:57:05 · answer #1 · answered by steveraven 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's really 2 things U can do here. Deal with his behavior or move on. U can tell him that "work mode" cuts him off from U and u don't like that. U play games by telling him that ur going out on a date. So if you're dating others while still dating him, don't let him know. That's only if UR really tired of playing games. Keep dating - he may not be the one. He'll find in time that U don't know what U got till it's gone.
2006-07-31 00:05:19 · answer #2 · answered by Gremlin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should just go about doing what you want to do. First of all, you aren't even in a realtionship with this guy. There is no reason for you to email him and tell him that you met a really "cool guy" and he was "hot" and wanted to take you out. If I were you, instead of threatening that, go out and meet someone. Don't sit around waiting for him. If he wanted a relationship with you, he would have started one already. Give it time. Maybe if you do go out with someone once or twice, and he finds out about it, he'll be calling you all the time. Take that risk.....and find out how he truly feels. Good luck......
2006-07-30 23:58:19 · answer #3 · answered by trueblond195 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like the type that if you give him an ultimatum, he is outta there. Go live your life and who knows...you might have fun and meet someone else. Or, he might begin to miss you and come back. It sounds like it isn't personal, since he does it to his own mother. If this is a behavior you can't live with, move on. If you go into a relationship thinking you can change the other person, it is doomed from the start. Go be yourself and stop waiting around for Mr Moody. Don't say anything to him, just fade out. You'll hear from him.
2006-07-30 23:55:22 · answer #4 · answered by curiositycat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth is you don't want to be involved with this guy where he is right now. You want him to be more into you than work.
You have to look at yourself in the mirror every day and knowing that you lied from the beginning of the relationship in order to get him interested will definitely cause a rift in your relationship.
I would recommend that you truely pursue a relationship with someone else. If it comes down to it in the future and you are both at a place where you want to try the relationship thing again, great....but if not, at least you can hold your head high and be proud of all the decisions that you made.
2006-07-30 23:59:41 · answer #5 · answered by Holly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you aren't getting what you need out of the relationship, then you'll have to be a bit selfish and end it. A relationship takes two people, not one. That is what you will need to say to him.
Although you need to respect his work ethic, he also needs to pay attention to you. Relationships don't just happen; they are the result of a lot of work and a significant time investment.
If he doesn't change quickly after you telling him that, then leave and find a guy who gives you as much as you give him.
2006-07-30 23:55:25 · answer #6 · answered by The B Man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot expect him to change for you. He is who he is. Accept him or move on.
However, you can get some time with him and explain what traits you don't like about him and see if he is willing to work on those. Tell him how serious you are in considering leaving him. You need to have an open, honest discussion.
2006-07-30 23:54:07 · answer #7 · answered by Plasmapuppy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You wanna no what I think, Grow Up and just comunicate with the guy, if you can't do that you shouldn't even be in a relationship, thats why you play games,cause your a player
2006-07-30 23:58:22 · answer #8 · answered by .? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but he's just not into you. He obviously gets more from work than personal relationships. He'll die a bitter old fool. Go and find someone who's worth your time and attention. Don't waste any more time on this loser.
2006-07-30 23:56:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi , my namne is reign, i think that u should let him go because it is a waste of time ,your waiting for him but hes not giving u the time of day sweetie, there are so many others out there that are willing to give u there time, not only that but who is loving,and who will support u in everything that u do, dont wait another min waiting for him ,because hes not willing to heall and move forward with u, so dont put ur life on hold for someone who does not appreciate you. so i encourage you to move on with ur life sweetie.
2006-07-31 00:00:48 · answer #10 · answered by reign820022000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋