How does one forgive someone who has died?

Question

A secondary question is what your definition of forgiveness is. I think it's giving a situation to God. After all a perpetrator of sin has the ultimate responsibility of repenting.

Answer 1

Well forgiveness shouldn't require the person to ask for it. (God says to forgive first) Forgiveness isn't for the person (thier sin is still going to be dealt with) forgiveness is for YOU. You need to let it go or you are sinning by holding onto the anger or resentment.

Answer 2

First, what is forgiveness? Most of the people responding here don't know. Forgiveness is when you put aside your anger and start wishing someone to have all of God's blessings. That does not mean that you have to for example, invite your rapist to your house for dinner. That would be reconciliation. Forgiveness simply means that you hope the best for them. For the Christian this should mean that we hope that those who have hurt us will learn about Christ and accept his salvation. Whatever else happens in this life is nothing compared to that. Whatever a person did to me is no worse than what I did to my savior. If I am forgiven by Christ, what right do I have to withhold my forgiveness to another. There is a parable in Matthew18:21-35. It is known as the parable of the unmerciful servant. It explains this much better than I can.
If you read this, you will see that our sins are really against God more than against each other. So if God offers forgiveness to someone who has sinned against you or I then how can we not do the same since we have sinned against God. The effect of holding on to that anger is ultimately more damaging to us. We have all seen the families of murder victims (in the news at least), who have been waiting for 20 yrs for the killer to be executed. They are often so full of hate that they have become a secondary victim. They never let go of all that anger and eventually it damages them.

Answer 3

You can, and should, forgive a person after they have died. The measure that you forgive is the measure of forgiveness you will receive. It's in the Lord's Prayer.

Just because a person who has offended you is dead does not mean you do not need the healing that forgiving brings you.

Forgiving someone is the right thing to do, whether or not that forgiveness is accepted by the offender is not your responsibility, whether they are dead or alive.

Answer 4

I understand how that feels, trying to forgive someone who died. We tend to blame the other person for leaving almost as if it's their fault, but I think the best way to "forgive" them, is to realize everyone has their time and it's not their fault at all - it's just their time to go. Then you realize you don't even need to forgive them at all.

Yeah, I agree that it's their ultimate responsibility to pay for that sin, but if you're Christian, you also believe that Jesus died for your sins, taking away that responsibility from you. That right there contradicts everything about ultimate responsibility between us and God.

Answer 5

Try this. You imagine that person sitting in a chair and you tell them essentially what they did to you and how they should not have done that. And how for doing that, they should have known better and apologized, and begged your forgiveness. But they never did, and you now realize that they never will. Still, because they never did ask for forgiveness as they should have, they have been with you in your thoughts and sometimes in your anger and you really don't want them there any longer. They have no right to be there. So you have decided to move on with your life. And as part of that, you have decided to forgive them--not because they want it, and not because they deserve it. But because you are in charge of your own life now, and they simply can't have that place in your daily thoughts any more. You tell them you know your decision is a good one. And then you move on.

Answer 6

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself, not the other person. You owe it to yourself to forgive this wrong so you can move on and live a great life. Forgiveness is a choice, and it can be done. When it's hard to forgive, remember all the things you've done God has forgiven you for, and ask Him to help you view this situation through His eyes instead of your own.

Answer 7

Your forgiveness of a person isnt your asking the person to accept that forgiveness. Its about you. Its about letting go of whatever hold that gridge has on your life. Just forgive them and let it go. Give it to God if that's what you think you should do. Move on and live your life to the fullest and dont let that person and what they did to you rule your life.

Answer 8

Ask God to help you forgive the person and know you will never have to see the person again.It is not condoning what the person did, its just forgiving something you cant change that happened.

Answer 9

How does one forgive someone who has died?
WOW if you're still hold a grudge against someone thats 6 foot under, then you really need a life!

Answer 10

I believe that for both the person living and the one who's passed, there's opportunities to forgive for both. Myself, I have a brother who committed suicide. For me, it is a process of understanding his own pain prior to him taking his life, and forgiving him for doing so. He caused our family a lot of pain. Yet, I have to remember he was in a lot of pain himself. Understanding and having compassion for him made it easier for me to move on. There may be people answering your question without thinking about how much it means to you to be able to forgive and move on. It isn't easy. It takes time, talking with people who understand you, and praying helps too.