Does it wreck your karma to have a friend with benefits and have a major crush on someone else and even if your "friend" says that you can see eachother from time to time until we both meet someone else, I feel a little guilty. Will it ruin my chances of meeting someone else, or help it?
2006-07-30 15:38:54 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It definitely will. You will send mixed signals to a potential husband by keeping your friend with benefits.
2006-07-30 15:42:25 · answer #1 · answered by Shaana 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think the guilt your feeling should give you an indication as to the seriousness of the situation. You might see your "friend" as someone to pass the time with until someone better comes along. But there are some potentially negative consequences to your actions.
First, if your with this "friend" it could hamper your ability to attract single, quality guys. I don't make it a thing to approach a girl if she is with some guy at the time. So, you could be missing out on potential opportunities when your with him.
Second, you have to deal with word of mouth if someone knows the two of you are "friends". Since most people can't keep things to themselves your going to have to anticipate others sharing your arrangement. This could also lead to quality, and I say quality because that is the type of guy you should be looking for, guys being turned off on the news. Although some guys might get interested only on the premise that they think you could be someone you could sleep with. These guys however will only waste your precious time and bring you grief, misery, and disappointment.
Third, even though you might not want any emotional attachment to your “friend”, inevitably some amount most always exists. This could prevent you from wanting to move on to a much more meaningful relationship. The fear of being alone constantly keeps people in unnecessary relationships. There is a connection between you two, it might just be on a level that you don't usually see. But remember it can surface at any time and cause complications detrimental to your future relationships.
So, please give thought into what the relationship is really worth. Also, remember that if you want to meet someone to move onto a much more satisfying, meaningful, worthwhile, and caring relationship you need to be serious about looking. Its hard to see the light if someone’s hands are in your face.
2006-07-30 23:06:21 · answer #2 · answered by mstang 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it will ruin your chances of meeting someone else. You both have an understanding that until you meet someone else you can have the "friend with benefits" type of relationship. It would be different if only you understood it to be that way and he was really in love with you.
2006-07-30 22:44:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't wreck your karma, I just think that the party that does not have a crush is going to get slighted a little bit or possibly a lot on the "benefits" while the crush is in the picture.
2006-07-30 22:44:04 · answer #4 · answered by creerhnter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In other words, you feel guilty about sleeping with a "friend" although you have a crush on a guy...but that crush is going unrequited?
So you enjoy the comforts of the "friend" till you find (and he finds) mates for the long-run?
I think I'm reading it right...
My answer is no harm, no foul--enjoy each other's warmth--I think when these situations grow wrong is when lying is involved. Like when one is married and doesn't tell the other, or when one has vd and doesn't tell the other, or when one really, really digs the other and pretends that it's only sexual...the list goes on and on.
If it's honest and upfront and for sex and companionship, go for it without guilt. Enjoy it--but how do you end it gracefully?
2006-07-30 22:51:22 · answer #5 · answered by jalfredprufrock 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do the friends with benifits thing it is harder to find someone really special. You just don't have the same kind of drive to pursue guys. It isn't a karma thing, just a mind set regardless what you tell yourself. Friends with benifits can be great, but not something i would do for any length of time.
2006-07-30 22:42:41 · answer #6 · answered by bluechick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there done that...
Had one of those. I had trouble when i got into a relationship because he missed not being able to get it whenever which made me feel bad enough to give in & that was wrong because that boyfriend was betrayed. It seems harmless but honestly you're not reliable in a relationship.
Plus, you have to worry about if something happens & you get pregnant or get a disease. Thank God I didn't have to worry about either but I'm pretty sure there's plenty people that have.
2006-07-30 22:46:15 · answer #7 · answered by NicNac 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think so, since you are aleady getting what you need out of the friend with benefits, then you're not going to just sleep with anyone, probably enhance your chances of meeting someone you like, not just lust after.
2006-07-30 22:45:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ruin it.... if i seen a chick with a guy all the time and i was into her or just wanted to see what was up, it would be a definate turn off or i would just think she was a slut (yes i am a girl and no im not lesbian). plus your friend might think he could just get away with it anytime and try things on you when you are dating someone. if you were horny enough, then you would be cheating. not a good thing!
2006-07-30 22:43:04 · answer #9 · answered by scrappy06 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't meet someone if your gettin busy with another. The person you really like may find out about you doing your friend and think your with that friend and he'll move on.
2006-07-30 22:43:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It won't. Like you said a friend with benefits. That means he wants to find that special someone too.
2006-07-30 22:42:36 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋