me and my b/f have been living together for 8 months - yesterday we broke up.... what do i do?

Question

recently i went away for the night and he slept in the same bed (they did nothing) with one of my "friends"... i got over it and we continued to be together but now this friend has told me that my b/f told her that i am just a cumfort zone for him and he is using me to get over his ex. i know he is still in love with his ex. i told him i was stupid for thinking that he would eva love me and he didnt say anything... does this mean what my friend says must be true??? HELP!

Answer 1

you wanted to be blinded by your bf feelings towards his ex, and since you have been living together for 8 months you thought, at least he is with me (his body) but you know his toughs were somewhere else as well you know that he was with you (comfort zone) because he wasn't with the person he wanted to be with, let go, it was more pain than pleasure what he gave you....but you only wanted your 15 minutes of happiness even thou the rest of the time will be pain......balance what you have received from him (good and bad) and you will realized that most of the effort in this relationship has been made by you..... this is your relationship not his.....its better to be alone than like that. besides you are not giving yourself a chance to meet the right guy for you.....give time for yourself (by alone with any relationships) then open your heart for something fresh and good for you.....

Answer 2

It is sure hard to break up, no matter how long you have been together, but especially after living together. Try to stop all the "noise" in your head first, and concentrate on your loss and healing your heart. At this point, nothing makes sense, and you need to take care of YOU. We can analyze forever but we may never know the truth about other people's feelings and motives, because we are not them. You CAN control your reactions and you can know your feelings. I suggest writing them all down, getting them out and then putting them away in a box or drawer. Then, take a nice bath, relax, get some sleep, and when you awake tomorrow write a list of all the things you know are GOOD about you! You are a separate person, a woman of value. You are lovable and if he decides not to be with you, that is okay, it doesn't make you a lesser person. You will find a lover who truly appreciates you and who is emotionally available, give it time.

Answer 3

This is a bit confusing. One thing you will learn as you age is that the "he said, she said, he said etc. isn't a good way to live. Best to hear things from him and forget the gossip.

Sounds like the guy needs a comfortable living situation. Sounds like you want him to be your LOVE. Why don't you two sit down and agree to not fight, but ask him.......exactually what are you expectations for this relationship. Then don't get upset when he tells you.....becasue you need to know and you asked.
If you are on different pages than him...you might need to treat him like a roomate and not a bf. Or you might need to find someone else to rent with you, or live along.

Answer 4

i say that either his friend is into him and wants to split you guys up or he just doesnt want to be with you anymore. how did you find out about them sleeping in the same bed? if he told you then he probably was looking for a way to make you mad so that he could get out of the relationship. and another thing- why would he sleep in bed with someone else besides you? there are always floors, there is no excuse. if he didnt answer you then chances are that he doesnt want to continue the relationship. i say you should just move on and find someone who is respectful of you and where he sleeps. good luck!!

Answer 5

Girl, any guy who would sleep in the same bed with your "friend" while you were away for a night is not someone you want to be with in the first place. Really.

Find your own place, and start over. By staying there with him one minute longer, you are just postponing the inevitable.

Answer 6

I once lived with someone for almost 2 years, the whole time telling him that while I loved him, I wasn't "in love" with him. Somehow he kept telling himself that we had a "real" relationship, but for me it was terrific sex and avoiding living with my parents (I was only 21 at the time).
As to your question -- you already know the answer. "Silence is Golden" as the saying goes. And there's nothing you can do to get him to love you. We have no control over who we love, just what we do about those feelings.
Why throw your life away with a man who doesn't love you? That means you won't be available when you DO meet a man you can freely love, and who will be able to love you back.
Good luck to you.

Answer 7

It is best for both of you to sit down and just "clear the air." If he is using you as a "comfort zone" then you guys should just be friends so that you can still be there for him and listen to his problems. But yes, you two should really sit down together and talk it out. Thats the best communication for you two right now.

Answer 8

well, my answer to this would be sort of scattered but you could figure it out with the situation that is going on with you and your boyfriend. Two situations could be going on with you guys...

1.Your boyfriend may have done something in bed with your friend and your friend may want to be with your b/f so she told you this so you and ur b/f could brake up. If this is the scenario that her plan worked...dont let her get to you.

2. Also, your boyfriend may actually be doing this.....but if he is, he is not worth it because nobody should use anyone.....no matter what. if your friend does hook up with him...dont let it get to you. It is his loss. Your friend shouldnt be telling you things like this even if she really did hear this. She should be more conscious of your feelings. i would talk to her about it and just tell her if she ever does hear something like this again....(ur choice) tell me or keep it to urself.

Finally, just keep true to yourself and remember you dont need a boyfriend to be happy in life. If people are gonna treat you this way and cause you this stress, I would think twice about staying with them.....or you could stay with them & just tell them to not tell you things like this again. Just tell her politely, & make sure she understands, and dont get mad when you are telling her this...because it shows she is a threat and that you get mad over it. If you do get mad and she realizes it...she is gonna know it bothers you & do it to you again. If you feel like you are gonna break down.....just tell her you have to go to the bathroom & release your feelings in there...
Good Luck with this!!!
Hope I helped!!!

Answer 9

if u knew he wasnt over his ex u probably should have stayed away from him to start. well first of all u guys will have to do something about the living situation. who will be staying? will you have to break the lease? either way u guys need to seperate. and get a good man who has love for u.

Answer 10

It's a good thing that you found this out when you did. Otherwise it woulda been harder to get over him. It sounds to me like what your friend said was true... unfortunately :( Sorry girlie. If he got mad bout it then maybe it woulda been diff't. But it sounds to me that he didn't know what to say cuz he was shocked that you found out what was really going on...

Just be glad that he is out of your life. It'll be hard, I know. It was 7 wks ago when I broke up w/ MY bf. Life goes on... Don't worry, one day you'll get over him.