my father who I haven't seen or spoken to in over 18 years is hospitalized...visiting won't be easy as he lives in another province. I'm dying to visit but on the other hand I'm scared to death. The estrangement is a result of his alcholism, and his hospitalization is probably in some way connected to that as well. I feel like I have to go because he's sick and should be surrounded by family but I'm worried that 18 years of anger will spill over. He doesn't need that at this moment in time...any words of wisdom on how I should handle this?
2006-07-30 14:46:09 · 10 answers · asked by MissKat999 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
definately go and see him
you have nothing to lose except the chance of bever seeing him again...
if it is a result of alcoholism him seeing you after all this time may give him a reason to survive...
with addictions you can often hurt the people you love and make bad choices... im sure he didnt do this becasue he didnt love you... give it a chance you will feel like you have achieved something so big no matter how it turns out
2006-07-30 14:54:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 9⤊ 0⤋
coach that you want him, yet somewhat than lecturing him or saying you come back first, supply him a challenge. Promise him that if the day comes, and purely then, that he can triumph over this drug difficulty and get the help needs to stay sparkling, that you desire not something more effective than to come back see him and attempt to ascertain some type of relationship back. Be honest and enable him comprehend how important that could be to you, yet besides make effective he's widely used with it is going to not in any respect happen see you later as he's on drugs. you're certainly giving him a very last threat and it will be as a lot as him, in his constrained means, to locate some reason behind desire and motivation in that message to get the help he needs. If money is mandatory for rehab, are you and your siblings prepared to foot the invoice to attempt to get your Dad back? if so, make effective he's widely used with that so money would not grow to be basically yet an extra reason to stay on the drugs.
2016-10-15 10:29:51 · answer #2 · answered by beaudin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a feeling when you see him lying there sick, you will be able to keep your anger in check (although I understand your concern.) You should definitely go to see him...if something should happen to him, you'll probably regret it the rest of your life that you weren't there for him right now.
Maybe if you just go in with the idea that, if you start to feel any anger, you'll excuse yourself and leave the room until you calm down. Then you have a plan.
2006-07-30 14:54:01 · answer #3 · answered by Schleppy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even with the fact that he treated you like he did, two wrongs don't make a right. Go on to the hospital and see him. I feel that if you don't go and something was to happen and you never got to see him again, you would live to regret it.
My ex-husband treated my kids very badly when they were growing up. Now that they are both grown, my daughter does go to see him from time to time, not cause she cares about him. But she does it out of respect for him, that's more than he ever gave her!!
2006-07-30 15:04:47 · answer #4 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel that you must go, then go. Do not have any expectations. Go to comfort a poor sick man.
I feel true sorrow that substance abuse has driven a wedge in your relationship.
Simply be compassionate, kind, decent. Nothing more, nothing less.
Prove that you are the bigger person. Good luck and God bless.
2006-07-30 14:51:32 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please bury any hard feeling and make the sacrifice to go see your father. It won't kill you and I bet the "reunion" will go better than you may think. He needs his children now.
2006-07-30 14:51:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go see him before it is too late. Once he is gone that'll be forever.
2006-07-30 14:54:29 · answer #7 · answered by GRUMPY 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you may want to call him first, it is probably a good idea to protect yourself emotionally from him - be prepared he may not want to see you due to his own insecurities
2006-07-30 14:50:59 · answer #8 · answered by leo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
please DO visit him, i am Sure he would want to see you... dont hold a grudge, hun, life is WAY too short for that... he may die soon, and you will have a regret if you Don't see him
2006-07-30 14:49:57 · answer #9 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go and if it does it needed to be said
2006-07-30 15:35:33 · answer #10 · answered by heather f 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋