2006-07-30 13:53:34 · 39 answers · asked by Emsy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes, but not for the fear of being alone. I don't know how long you've been in the relationship, but just so ya know, love is something that doesn't just happen right away. If this person makes you happy, stay with them. Who knows, you might just fall in love after the relationship has had time to mature.
Now if you're just saying you're happy in that he's not a jerk, that's something different entirely. Personally, I think that if you have to ask this question, you probably aren't as happy as you say you are. Moving on is hard when you don't want to hurt your partner's feelings, but you can't just make them give you the feelings that make you happy...
2006-07-30 13:55:38 · answer #1 · answered by Axel 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
This is a very thorny issue. Had you not mentioned the 'fear of being alone' I would have been inclined to think that you should stay and work on the quality of your relationship to see if love might develop between you; by this I mean aim to improve the communication between you and introduce new activities into what you do together, try some spontaneity. Sometimes people become obsessed with the idea of falling in love and lose sight of the fact that love is something which can grow and requires a lot of effort to nurture.
The fact that you have mentioned the fear of being alone leads me to think that you may only be staying with this person out of emotional dependency: you feel that you need someone to validate yourself. I left someone whom I didn't feel was right for me, but after she stopped seeing me as a friend I felt an enormous need to have her back. By this time she had moved on and wasn't interested. This led me to have what has felt like an emotional breakdown. I'm starting to see that the reason for this was that I was still very much emotionally attached to this person and had come to rely on her to validate me as a person. Everyone needs first and foremost to learn to value themselves as good and integral human beings who are not dependent on others to provide them with emotional security.
If you do decide that you will not be content with this person in the long run and that it is best to separate, then a clean break is the least heart-rending way in the long run. If you continue to see them as a friend you will feel a pull toward them still which will prevent you from moving on with your life.
For now don't rush into anything. Maybe keep a private journal to work things out clearly in your mind over the coming months. Best wishes.
2006-07-30 22:56:12 · answer #2 · answered by compassionandreason 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
.
Absolutely not ...
Sorry to sound so harsh, especially not knowing your full story,
but all you will be doing is prolonging the pain of a relationship
gone stale or whatever has happened.
If your being alone is as big as you say it is then I really suggest that you get some help from someone who specialises in dealing with emotional issues like these, a counsellor or therapist, there is a reason why you have this fear and it CAN be dealt with giving you a better quality of life in the long term, it may be painful to both split and do the work but it WILL be worth it if you can stick with it...
2006-07-30 14:02:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to be in love just to be in a relationship, but being with someone simply because your afraid to be alone is just awful. Whats going to happen when your partner does fall in love? But you didn't think of the feelings that are bound to get hurt.
2006-07-30 13:57:37 · answer #4 · answered by laciarlene89 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to tell you the truth i think that would all depend on if your happy or not because if your not then get out while you can and if you are happy sure, stick it out just that little bit longer, just think about number one at the end of the day an you never no whats on the other side of the door but just remember a change is good as a rest
2006-07-30 17:02:33 · answer #5 · answered by justdavin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not! You are cheating yourself, and him too. You are not in love with him, and both of you deserve someone to love them, and also be "in love" with them. The fear of being alone is never justification for staying in a loveless relationship.
2006-07-30 13:59:29 · answer #6 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you shouldn't. That wouldn't be fair to the other person. It would be selfish on your part to stay with this person if you don't love them and you would be hurting them a lot more than if you were to leave. You should just get out of the relationship, if this is how you feel.
2006-07-30 13:57:02 · answer #7 · answered by Fuzzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Because life is out there along with the right person for you.. Don't worry about being alone, be active and go out to quality places where you can meet quality marrying type guys.. Take care and good luck...
2006-07-30 13:57:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it depends on if you both feel the same way about each other. it would be unfair to remain in this type of relationship if your partner was totally in love with you. If you are both happy with the situation then you should stay there
2006-07-30 14:09:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not. There will always be someone out there to keep you company. Plus, you are not only hurting yourself, you are deceiving the other person by staying in the relationship.
2006-07-30 13:56:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋