I have offered to pay her at those times she helped, but she wouldn't take it. I would never be able to pay her all that I would owe her. I do appreciate it, she says I don't, I guess because I argue back with her or I won't do what she wants or I do things she don't want me to. Sometimes it seems as though she helps me so that she can have control over me. She goes on and on and won't listen to what I have to say. She is married and lives down the road from me. I am single, her little brother, age 53. It seems like she is constantly on my case about something. Am I suppose to let her have her way because of all she has done for me, or am I still suppose to have my own life, even though she helps me? She doesn't try to understand things, like how much the groceries cost me, etc. It upsets me so when she bitches that it makes my stomach upset, and gives me a tension headache from the stress. How can I get through to her?
2006-07-30 13:34:03 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
She throws up in your face?!
Man, I'd stop letting her help if that's going to happen.
2006-07-30 13:37:54 · answer #1 · answered by Snidley Whiplash 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She probably means very well in helping you and she helps you because she loves you, but yes it would appear that she has some control over you because of her helping you with money. You are both adults and you should tell her how you feel and note all of the times she has thrown money in your face.
When you give money to someone to help them out it should be a gesture of kindness and love, never to be brought up again, especially with negative connotation attatched. Next time she brings something like that up, you need to stand up to her if you ever want this cycle to end. She may get mad or stop helping you for a while, but eventually she will come around. I'm not saying blow up at her, but just tell her you love her and appreciate her and all she does for you, but that it doesn't give her the right to bad mouth you and make you feel worthless.
2006-07-30 20:44:51 · answer #2 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost you need to stop accepting money from her if it comes with conditions. I also assume that she has children because of the way that she is mothering you. She needs to understand that you are a grown man and can handle decisions on your own. Let her know that you respect her advice but that doesnt mean that you have to take it. If she is not willing to back off then thank her for the money she has loaned you thus far and tell her that you no longer want her help.
2006-07-30 20:42:08 · answer #3 · answered by emismommy01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would say that first off your her little brother, so she is going to probably feel that she has to teach/tell you things that will probably help you she thinks. then she has to give you money when she feels that your old enough to support yourself, also frustrating her, because she has faith in you that you could take care of yourself. then there is what i have experienced, you sister is probably in her sixties, and mybe kindof old fashion, mybe to the point where she believes that when your told to do something by someone that has money unlike you that you should do it because they said so because she obviously knows what she's talking about.. there for throwing it back in your face, this is where, there is 2 ways she could be, she could be understanding, or doesn't care what you say because she knows what she taking about and that will never change, this is where you talk to her (when your not asking for money) and ask her to please listen to everything you have to say before she says anythng, then you tell her that you appreciate all her help, then ask her to explain why she says things like...."what ever example you feel that expresses her throwing it in your face" or the 2nd what she could be...which i would have to say that she is from what you wrote... that she thinks that she is right and you are stupid for not being able to support yourself, and expresses her superiority over you because she has it and you don't, so from the experience of that... you should not take money from her, showing that she is not needed all the time, there for have nothing to throw in your face, and if she shoves the past in your face then that's exactly what she is trying to do have power, so get another job, get your own money and you wont have that problem
2006-07-30 22:03:25 · answer #4 · answered by truthbear1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you take her money, you take her crap.
Stop taking her money and either learn to live within your means or find a way to earn more money.
You are 53 years old. Learn how to make it on your own.
2006-07-30 20:53:10 · answer #5 · answered by BoomChikkaBoom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get upset but forget about it. Kindley help her in other ways. Then you will have some ammo to throw back in her face, Then she will see how it feels!
2006-07-30 20:41:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a choice. If you can live within your own income then why put up with the abuse. Cut her loose!
2006-07-30 20:38:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop accepting her help. She won't have anything to throw in your face any longer.
2006-07-30 20:38:37 · answer #8 · answered by sara bellum 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋