Anyone who has kids around 1-3yrs old,,, Need ur help?

Question

my kids won't gve up the binky... And my oldest son won't potty train he just turned 3 in july... Everyone in my family and/or friends think he needs to be pottied trained by now... I have tried everything i can think of and now i have little hope. I have three kids my son 3yrs old, daughter soon to be 2 in dec., and a 7month old daughter.. I have tried to break them of the binky but my old man keeps giving it back to them... Please need your help, will try almost any thing? What's your best ideas for potty training, and losing the binky?

i have tried the sticker board after awhile he found where i hid them. He got them out and sticker-ed his sisters...I have tried rewards but lack of money has my hands tied.... he stubborn like his dad... i have tried reading to him on the potty, dad has tried to show him..... but the only thing he want's from the potty is to see how much he can stick in it before it floods over... Which he has done four times.... I don't want to shut-off the bathroom but i don't know what else to do????

Answer 1

Ignore the binky. If the 7-month-old is getting one the 2- and 3-year-old aren't going to let it go. I think you will have to wait that one out until your youngest is ready to give it up.

Since your oldest is a boy, try the Cheerio trick (get his dad to help). Have dad take him into the bathroom and demonstrate "hitting the target" on some Cheerios in the pot. If you don't want to set a "food in the potty" example, there are little target kits and similar training toys on the market you might look into. You could tie this to getting the pull-up type training pants - just like dad's underwear, and just for big boys who mostly go in the potty!

3 isn't necessarily too young to start, but he's not so old that I'd be worried about potty training yet particularly since he's the oldest of three who are all very young and he probably doesn't have any older siblings to demonstrate going in the potty. If you and dad are lucky enough to actually get some privacy in the bathroom, he may not have even family examples to demonstrate that what he's doing in his diaper may be done elsewhere. I bet you will have a much easier time with your almost 2-year-old when she is ready to train. My now 6-year-old (only child) was well into her 3's before we got her to be interested at all in using the toilet, and she was never interested in the training potty - only the big one. She was late in her 5's before we slept consistently without having an accident once or twice a week.

Be patient, have dad demonstrate the principle a few times. I guarantee you your son will eventually get it.

***I read your additional comments. I would say he is not ready, or at least he is not ready to take his performance in the potty seriously. Is he in any sort of play group with children his age? I know this can be seriously hard to schedule when you are busy - and you have two other small children, so you are probably busier than most women I know - but when kids are around others their age or older, particularly when there is a strong but loving adult who supervises them, they seem to watch one another for clues on how to behave. Our daughter attends day care when she is not in school because we both work, and this helped immensely. I know that some people think it is horrible for a child to be in day care, but we spent a tremendous amount of time and effort finding just the right person. Our day care provider is home-based, certified with the state, and she has the perfect "tough-love" attitude that gets the kids respect and love. The messages that our daughter gets about all sorts of character issues are reinforced at her daycare - if she gets in trouble there, she is in trouble at home and vice versa - when she went to school, having her know that mom and dad know when she steps out of line even if she is not with us, and that there are consequences at home for unacceptable behavior outside the home really helped her to police her own behavior. When our girl saw that other kids were using the big potty, she wanted to also and became a partner in the effort instead of having it forced on her. It's one of those first steps toward socialization that are so important.

I think a regularly scheduled pre-school, daycare, or play-date activity where your son gets to spend a few hours with other kids his age or a bit older would be very valuable. It doesn't have to cost money like daycare - get in touch with other mothers you know and trust and arrange a rotating schedule of play at someone's house. This could also give each of you a regular break from your toddlers (it gets so much better when they are about 4 - all of it - they become new people - ones who care what you think!).

Good luck!

Answer 2

Cut the tips off the binkys and they will no longer have that suction and will not be fun to suck on anymore. If this doesn't work, just take them with you one day when you go out and throw them away in a public trash can.
I would ask your hubby why he thinks his children should be dependant on something that interferes with speech development. Hopefully that will get through to him.
As for potty training, all 3 of my daughters were potty trained at 3. Don't worry about it.
Tell him all his friends are using the potty and that diapers are for babies, not big kids. Use a reward, like a swim lesson or a special place to go, like a movie, and tell him he can only go oif he is using the potty.
Don't be pushy, and make sure to tell him how proud you are of him that he is such a big boy. Make it seem like it's his decision.
Good luck!

Answer 3

It would probably help if you and your husband were on the same page on this. Talk with him about why you want your son to give up the pacifier. Then talk about whether you'd like to just get rid of the pacifier cold turkey or more slowly. As for potty training, my daughter was almost 3 yrs. when she potty trained. We had tried other things, but what worked best was making a chart where she got stickers when she went to the bathroom. After so many stickers, she would get to pick something from a box of toys, stickers, and candy. She finally decided she wanted to train. That made all the difference.

I read your added information and just wanted to say that you could still use rewards even if you're strapped for cash. You could use rewards of going to the park, having a friend over, getting to pick what he gets for dinner, etc. Not having a lot of cash means you have to be more creative - not that you can't do it.

Answer 4

first you have to throw out every binky in the house and resolve not to buy replacements. at this point the kids are going to have to go cold turkey. I have 5 yr old twins and they were pretty hooked... that's the only thing that worked for me.
as for potty training... have you tried a reward chart?
you hang it right next to the toilet or potty chair. give your son a star/sticker for every time he uses the potty. tell him when he fills a row you'll do something special together (of his choosing)...or some other special reward. also, remind him that he'll be going to school soon, and he HAS to have going potty down pat before school starts. these both worked for my son too...and he was very hard to potty train.
Well, best of luck! it's tough work, but soon it will all come together.

Answer 5

ok, mom of a 3 year old here, and i've been a daycare provider out of my home in the past for years, and i also have several younger siblings (6 to be exact). first the binky. let me first say the younger they are, the easier it will be to take it away. my son stopped binky at 6 months because i didn't wanna see him with it forever. and it seems like with 3 of them on the binky its gonna be easier to do all of them at once. i never had this problem so can't say this is from experience, but i've heard this works. just get rid of all of them. don't keep one for emergencies, don't let hubby hide them or buy more, just toss 'em all out and they'll get over it. potty training... my son turned 3 in march and won't even talk about the potty. but that's ok, because he will eventually. he's not too big. some kids train earlier, like 2, some don't train til 4 years old. boys train later than girls do too. does it suck changing big old stinky diapers? yep. can you force him to train? you can try, but you'll only make it more difficult. he'll have accidents and he'll get in trouble and it will ruin his self confidence. or you can train yourself to scoop him up and set him on the potty when he's gonna go, but that doesn't train him, it trains you. my advice? don't sweat the small stuff, hon. enjoy your kids, don't worry about what other people think, or what they do, or what their kids do. just smile and say, "he will when he's ready, and he's not ready yet." and brush them off. bottom line is you have to train him when he's receptive or he's going to make it 10 times harder for you.

Answer 6

throw all binky's away..tell him that Santa don't bring gifts to kids at the age of ? that have binky's. ur man ain't gonna go buy another..i promise.., the potty training..spankings or just leave the dirty clothes on him until it leaves a rash and then tell him that is what happens when you go potty in ur pants. i know it sounds bad but you need to stop it and if u have tried everything else....why not try this?

Answer 7

On the potty training, when my youngest refused to give up diapers at three I told her that she could no longer go to the store, park or to grandmas because she would not wear big girl panties. She stopped going in diapers in 2 days. Check with the doc to make sure there isn't any reason for this, but usually it is being stubborn, and scared of the unknown, so just make the reward sweeter, good luck

Answer 8

i dont have kids but i babysit a lot of 1-3 yr olds. when he had to get rid of his binky his mom just took it from him and told him he was a big boy and he didnt need a binky anymore it seemed to work well for him because whenever i tucked him in bed at night he never complained. As far as potty training you should tell your child that if he doesnt wet himself or bed at night he will get dessert or any reward and if he does wet himself dont give him dessert or any reward. hope this helps.

Answer 9

get rid of every binky in the house they will be fine after a day or two. as for potty training my son turned 3 and had the pull ups on and just went in his pants because he knew he could. i put underwear on him and told him he can't pee in underwear because he would be wet and big boys don't pee in underwear and he is now 4 and only had 2 accidents and not one has been overnight.

Answer 10

i kno exactly how u feel. i dont hav a son lik that but i used to hav a brother lik that. i can tell u one thing everytime he urines on his pants u should tell him in a mean way to not do that and tell him that hes a big boy. it may seem forever to tak but once u keep tellin him that he'll keep that in mind and he would kno how to potty all by him self it just takes time. so be very patient. trust me it'll work i guarentee.

good luck!