my oldest is almost 8 and the youngest is 2.
2006-07-30 11:28:40 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
we fight over the petty stuff and $. but i am getting tired of the fighting.
2006-07-30 11:30:01 · update #1
It's hard for children not having both parents there all of the time, but you need to weigh the pros and cons. It's not good for your children if you two are constantly fighting either.
2006-07-30 11:32:03 · answer #1 · answered by mightymight 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all, Stop fighting in front of them. You will make it so they think it's their fault for you two fighting. If you two love the children as much as you two say you do, Then the only time you two should fight is when the children are no where near, around or in the house.. Send them to a friend and/or family then fight. But when the children are around you two don't have to love each other But don't show that to them. Make them feel that just because you two can't get along. That you two STILL love them.. But signs to look for if your worried that it has been effecting them is tantrums, acting out, hit some one or some thing.. Never speak a ill word about each other in front of them.. Remember no matter what age they are they love both of you and the more you fight they will grow up thinking that, Is this love? Mommy & Daddy do it.. you both are responesable for those childrens future. Even if you do separate, let the children know its not because of them ( both of you should do this even if its the last thing you do together) they will love you guy more for telling them and you won't have as many problems later.. Now if you guys find some one new DON'T let them talk bad about the other parent in front of the children.. Or your in for a long ride...
2006-07-30 18:59:48 · answer #2 · answered by momma_is_god_ha 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fighting is a normal part of living with other people. The trick is to do it in a way that shows respect for the other person. If there is a problem in the relationship the goal should be to solve it. In a fight it is important to try to listen to the other person as well as being heard. If the situation involves a lot of shouting then neither hearing or listening is not getting done. I believe that it is important to try to keep the family together but if the fighting is nonconstructive and if there is a lot of verbal and physical abuse then instead of teaching the children that fighting in a relationship is normal you end up teaching them that abusing a person during a fight is acceptable.
2006-07-30 21:03:55 · answer #3 · answered by DeeDee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they sometimes like 1 parent more than the other or they try and get the parents bak 2gether there can b great depression on their part but maybe there wont b sumtimes the kids seek special attention becaus ethey think that ( subconsiencly ) they dont get enough of both parents. unless u both realllllllyyyyy cant stand each other any more i wouldnt get divorsed. sometimes its better for children 2 think that their parents still luv each other enough 2 stay maried rather than 2 put them in a situation between parents. if u want 2 no anything else plz e-mail me with other questions about how 2 solve problems in family or just how 2 pass the day away without any arguments. I hope that helps u!
2006-07-30 18:46:58 · answer #4 · answered by gabberswhiffendor 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop the fighting and seek counseling you really should try to stay together and at least it you can not love each other respect each other as parents of your children. Separation and divorce devastates children. Try to remember why you fell in love in the first place. Go to the library or book store and find books on the subject. Put the children first and do not fight and especially do not fight in front of the children.
2006-07-30 18:37:10 · answer #5 · answered by Debbk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone fights first of all. Children suffer in many ways, but one thing I can tell you is when one parent bad mouths the other in front of the kids, that really hurts them. I don't bad mouth my ex and he doesn't bad mouth me in front of our son. We both agreed not to do that because both of our parents did it to us. Really if you fight about petty things can't you work it out? Maybe there is some other reason you two fight. Is either one of you bitter about something else? Staying together and fighting in front of the kids is also hard on them. Tough decision to make. Good luck.
2006-07-30 18:41:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my girls were young when i got separated from my x. The largest problem I have had is that they have separation anxiety. I have to be with them a lot or they think I'm going to leave too. That takes time to get over. your oldest is old enough to understand what's going on so talk to him/her. just don't take out your anger or frustration about your either impending or occuring separation. good luck
2006-07-30 19:41:33 · answer #7 · answered by christina s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stability is thrown out the window. The bickering between itself is damaging. You guys are an example to your kids. They see these things and your 8 year old especially might end up the same road you are in. Once your separated it seems things may still be rocky between you and your husband and soon(if you already havent), you guys will begin to use the kids against each other which further isolates them. Its really damaging to them.
2006-07-30 18:43:18 · answer #8 · answered by omsuperhoops 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The worst feeling for the children is that of being unwanted. Do your best to make the children feel involved and part of things, ask them questions as if they are adults, listen to their responses, take their suggestions seriously.
Do not have a competition for the childrens affection.
2006-07-30 18:35:00 · answer #9 · answered by Jim G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My two kids were the same age as yours were when I finial left and got my divorce from their dad. The effects on them is worse if you stay in the bad relationship as opposed of getting out of it. By staying in mine as long as I did, effected my son worse (him being the oldest) than it did my daughter.
When there is fighting going on, it is best to end it.
2006-07-30 18:54:17 · answer #10 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋