What's the best way to approach your teenager to do their chores without voices getting raised and back talk?

Question

My teenage daughter has to be constantly reminded and told about her chores, and then she raises her voice, turns her eyes at me, and then won't do them correctly, and when told about it she has to have the last word. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!! Idon't want to be the bad person, but I want her to understand resposibility.

Answer 1

Dont battle with her ,dont even yell because your feeding the monster.She knows what her chores are shes just trying to make it hard you need to make it easy and simple.Be as clam about it as possible.Dont tell her she has to do her chores,she allready knows it,but when she comes and asks you if she can go some where then thats when you clamly ask her if she finished her chores.now you allready know the routine shes going to throw a fit and roll her eyes.so shock her by doing something different,tell her your sorry and you would love to let her go but your time is just as important as hers and because she has wasted your free time by refusing to do her part that its only fair that she must loss her free time as will ,smile at her and ask her if she might have a change of heart,if not then go do the chore yourself and calmly go about your day.remember that she is going to be every mad trying to pull out all her tricks to get you to cave,the key here is to remain calm and find a little humor in it.and stick to your guns dont cave.Be consistent with your mood jolly even though you want to ring her neck.after awhile she knows its not working and the battles she was so good at have no effect on you any more.Thats when you will see the change

Answer 2

Make a chart with the chores and when you want them done each week. Make a contract that your daughter must sign in order to get her allowance or other privileges. You cannot force a child to do something but you can withhold certain perks like new clothes or entertainment. Under no circumstances should you allow this person to drive. If she is too young to drive, stop being the chauffeur. No more trips to the mall, movies, or non essentials till she faces her responsibilities.

Answer 3

First, you could try suspending her allowance or divide the total amount up by individual chores. That way, the more she does the more $ she gets.
Second, in the reverse of #1, the less she does, take that amount out.
Third, don't be afraid to discipline in creative ways i.e. take away computer and/or TV privileges. My parents used to make me write sentences.
Fourth, tell her how you want the chores done so they meet with your satisfaction. If she does it like a two year old, show her how you want it done and ask why you have to treat her like a two year old.
Fifth, don't be afraid to put your foot down. You are the parent, not her friend. Parents that are friends with their kids often find that disciplining them is harder to do.
Sixth, my personal favorite....tell her it's your house and she is going to live by your rules. Take charge, let her know who puts food in her tummy and keeps clothes on her back.
Hope this helps, have a great day.

P.S. Ignore her yelling and remain calm. THAT will really get to her.

Answer 4

Duct tape, and the threat of electric shock.

Duct tape is a time honored method of reducing back talk in teenagers. Simply apply a 8" long sheet of tape to the offending teenagers cheeks and mouth, and silence usually results.

Teenagers generally have a deep aversion to 110 volt current. Hooking them up to wall outlets before dinner, for about a week, usually makes chore doing much more prompt. Studies done in Tennessee and Arkansas report almost a 90% success rate, after allowing for factors such as hurricanes and power outages.

The key is to use common household items to nurture and encourage your children to be obedient. Duct tape and electricity are two great examples.

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Answer 5

You have to set up a scenario that forces her to do her part.

Involve her in meal preparation. Give her one step to do, such as cutting up and washing the vegetables for the salad. She will see that if this isn't done, she is responsible for holding up the meal preparation. If she does it, everyone will have salad, if she does not, nobody will. She will feel empowered in a positive way, and learn some food prep skills.

Then move on to dishes. Same deal. If the dishes aren't done, nobody will eat next time. Build up her confidence by complimenting her organiziation, neatness, and thoroughness.

She needs to know you are helping her prepare for adult life, and notn get the wrong idea you are just 'being mean.'

Answer 6

show her that doing those things can also help her get wat she wants she just has 2 work for them. ask her wat she thinks that u do everyday and tell her some more things and how u feel about urself wen she wont do herpart in creating a goo dlife for her. find out if she really likes a band or something simple like her favorite ice cream and tell her 2 do her chores and if she does them that u will have a surprise for her like going 2 a concert wether or not u like it show her that thats how u acheive things in life and that u make her do little things like chores not just so u can get help with things that u need 2 do but so that wen she is a mom or a wife wen she grows up that this will help her in a tremendous way! good luck and e-mail me if it doesnt work cuz i mite be able 2 help u more nowing wat she does wen u do these kinda things ! i hope that i can help u !

Answer 7

show her or make her feel that doing the chores is not a burden but an enjoyable task. If you whine and nag about it then she would feel that you are just making her do the chores you don't like doing yourself. Take her to shops where you can both enjoy a bedromm showcase, kitchen showcase that will inspire you both to make your house look that way.

Answer 8

The best you can do is stand firm and let her know that there will be consequences for failure to perform her chores. You must follow up on any punishments, but more importantly, if she does something correct, you must praise her. This is critical. Overall, do not beat yourself up over this. You are doing a great job, even if no one acknowledges that.

Answer 9

Not to sound mean or cliche ur not her friend ur her parent. Best I could tell u is that if she doesnt want to work she shouldnt get to play.If she has say an xbox/ps2 and games take them,or if she likes to go out with friends ground her.If she has to work for the things she wants shell appreciate them more.

Answer 10

Tell her if she doesn't do her chores, and do them correctly, then she won't be able to do certain things, like hanging with her friends, or shopping.