About death???

Question

My 5 yr old seams to be completely obsessed with death. Every time we hear a song on the radio that mentions soldiers dying or we drive past a cemetary she puts her hands over her ears and starts humming. Is this normal for her age? I've tried to talk to her about it but she doesn't want to talk when I mention anything about it. She says she's scared that I'm going to die. and wants to know when I will die and when she will die. No one in our family or people we no have died either. I don't know what to do about it besides hope she'll just grow out of it. Any suggestions?

I've told her that when we die here on Earth that we will go on to live in Heaven and that it is a much better place. I've tried to explain to her that we will sort of be living forever. But she still freaks out.

Answer 1

She has heard about death from somewhere, or she would not be acting this way. She may have seen a TV show or heard people talking about it.

The putting her hands over her ears and humming, indicates that she may think that the dead will talk to her.

I feel she has had a very bad experience concerning death. No matter how, or when it may have occurred, she needs reasurrance that death is a normal process of the life cycle.

I would suggest taking her to counseling, to find the root of her fear. I wouldn't say she is obessed by death, I feel that she scared by it, or of it.

She has learned from someone or somewhere about death and is very frightened, and is probably having nightmares about it.

Answer 2

Maybe one of her friends had a relative that died and told her about it. This probably scared her. She is probably having nightmares. Try to get it off of her mind so maybe she won't be thinking about it when she goes to sleep. Before bedtime watch a movie with her (that doesn't involve death in any way). So she will have something happy on her mind as she sleeps.

Avoid the subject for a while, see if she grows out of it in any way. If she doesn't change her behavoirs in a couple of weeks, talk to her. Don't sit her down and make her feel awkward and uncomfortable, but just start a conversation about school. Just a normal conversation that you would have any day, so that it is normal to her. If she becomes suspisious of any awkwardness she she won't answer your questions. Ask her about school and her friends. Then ask her what her friends have been doing? Wants she starts to open up to you, then slowly start to explain to her that people don't die until they are ready. Wants everyone is done with everything that God sent us here to do. You aren't ready to die yet because you still need to raise your beautiful daughter that you care about very much. God won't let you go because you still have too much on Earth to do. And she won't die until she has done everything that she needs to do in life. She still has her whole life ahead of her. Wants she understands, maybe take her to a cemetary, and have fun there. Cemetaries are happy places. Point out all of the pretty flowers.

good luck!

Answer 3

This is normal, especially since she hasn't had to experience grieving yet. Simply reassure her to it's normal to be scared about dying and see specifically if she can say what she is scared off. If you believe in heaven, explain the concept of heaven to her. If not, just explain what you believe happens after death. Tell her that nobody knows when they will die, but you love her very much and hope that you will live a long, long time. This is a phase that she is going through - be open and honest with her and she will move through it faster.

Answer 4

My daughter at 3 started asking ? about death, her grandmothers dog died and she told my daughter that the doggy went to heaven, ever since when my daughter See's a cemetery, she says "Mommy, all those people are in heaven". Also she asks when she will die, and I tell her when you are very,very old, and she asks when that will be and I tell her around 100 yrs old, lol , I think it is a stage all children go through. Don't worry, she'll outgrow it, cause my daughter also asks when I will die and I tell her when I'm 100 yr old .

Answer 5

Tell her that you will live forever (if you are religious, then that would work perfectly...kinda). Also tell her that she is perfectly healthy and people who are severly sick will die (Don't let her think 48 hour viruses or Colds could kill her...). It's just a stage and she will grow out of it. When she gets older in school, she will learn more about death and how to live longer (by being active), ect.

Answer 6

at that age I HAD to answer that question as to why Daddy was no longer here. I said, when you are born that's the beginning, when you die that's the end of of your life and before you die, you are in the middle of your life.

Answer 7

if shes in school, talk to her teachers. she had to have been introduced to death in some way.....she probally doesnt understand the meaning. tell her about heaven and angels. make death seem like its a completley normal thing that happens. refer to a pet or stuffed animal. she will grasp it better than using humans such as yourself and others

Answer 8

sit down to her family meal and talk to her about it. if she says she doesn't want to talk about it continue to do so it may seem shes ignoring you but shes listening and tell her that it is a natural thing and that every one dies but no one knows when they do and that you wont die for a long time and she wont ether.

Answer 9

i would say talk to her dr and see what they say i think all kids go through that stage at one time or another .. just make sure she isnt watching anything that relates to death

Answer 10

maybe she saw a scary movie that u didn't know about. i mean i know i get exactly like that when i see a scary movie. and i 17. try not to worry too much.