How do I convince my parents to get me married to a Man from another caste? -- From India.?

Question

I am from India. My Father has a carpentry business. My mom is a house wife. I work as an IT Security consultant. I am in love with my colleague. He is a brahmin, and we are Vaisyas. My boyfriends parents like me, but my parents dont want to get me maried to a person from a different caste coz it will bring them a bad name and cannot face the society.

I am their only daughter. I have not spoken of this to any of my other family members or my parents friends. Firstly, for fear that they may disagree with me, and so increase resistence to myself. Secondly, because I am scared my parents will consider this to be a dis-respect that someone from outside the family knows this. Both me and my boyfriend did not want to go out and get married, as we want our parents blessings. I am still with the same opinion, but my boyfriend is now asking me make a decision to either choose them or him, as his father is too old and wants to get married while he is still healthy. We know each other from the last 6 years now. I have spoken to most people about this, but not got any reall practical view of what is it that the parents have to face in society, if I marry a man of another caste?

Answer 1

I guess it's a matter of asking them to compare their status in society and to view your love in a person on this world. Do they favor their status? Or their daughters love? Would they prefer to keep their status? Or to have a daughter who holds them somewhat responsible for changing her life in a way she didn't want?

I now live with a young woman of a different race, in the South, a part of the USA who views interracial partnerships as 'unfavorable' to put it in it's nicest terms. I'm Hispanic and she is White. I have allot of respect for her in her facing her community, as I am from California, and be proud of our home.

In short, I guess, it's what you and them are willing to compromise. My baby daughter wil probably force me to meet this or another challenge, and I have certain issues I will not bend or give into, and she might when she gets to that time. Somebody, you or them, is gonna have to accept it, tolerate it, or lose a connection.

Answer 2

This is really a very difficult question. I don't think I can give a convincing answer, but these are just some humble opinions.
Hinduism was right with its theory about various castes in the society. In older regional societies order was maintained through old values.
Now the world becomes almost one village, all old values are to be reconsidered and to be adopted in a world civilization. In marriage, not only the matter of caste to be considered, but there are many other important matters concerned such as real love among the couple, their education, their happiness, their new family, their children, their relations with people of other religions and ideologies...
So please lovingly and patiently convince your parents to tolerantly look out to see the new things and new conditions of the world and allow you to make decision for your own life. Your love, your patience, and particualy your understanding will help you in obtaining their reconsideration.
Hindu people also believe in prayers, so pray ardently in order that the divine Krishna will cause them to think more about your happiness.
God bless you.

Answer 3

To my knowledge Brahmins are the highest caste. If you're boyfriends parents like you enough for them to want you to get married, your parents should see this as a great compliment.

As Brahmins are also charged with having the most spiritual caste, your parents should accept that his parents acceptance of you is more spiritually sound than their ideas.

It's generally only seen as shameful to marry a lower caste.

If they are true Hindu's they will take your love as a blessing from Brahma.

Good luck and God Bless you.

Answer 4

Hey dear !! Howz ya ?? So you are in a problem of marriage. okay. According to me, marriage is bringing 2 unknown families together. It is said that if u marry going against your parents, god gives lot of troubles to that couple. So while thinking of marriage, each and every member of ur family's consideration is taken into account provided he/she is eligible. But since you have gone against your parents, I can't say that you will last long in your marriage. This happens a lot in those couples who leave their parents for the 1 whom they love but they fail to realize what parents have done for their own kids by killing their dream (ur parents dream) so that their child should not suffer or think that you should not be kept aside from the whole group/society. After their marriage, at first everything will go normal only, but later on, the fight starts. This creates a lot sin afterwards. To avoid all these, you need loads and tonnes of understanding and trust between both of you. Secondly, you are staying in 21st century, the century of science and technology, how can you believe someone who has just read your kundali. He has not been and will not b with you for the whole life time. Stop believing in your kundali and superstition. Think what you want from life coz man is the product of what he thinks. Its your life, so you are the sole responsible for whatever happens in your life and you will only have to correct the mistakes. Don't ask anybody, just do what your heart says. So cut short, go with your heart and do only that your heart says to you. God bless you.

Answer 5

Wow, I have no idea how to answer your question, but is this a normal problem for young single Indians? Are your caste levels close enough together that it really shouldn't matter? Isn't the Brahmin the top level? How many castes are there?

Answer 6

Sorry, I SO do not understand the whole caste system in India. I will have to read up on it and educate myself.

However, if it anything like mixing religions or races personally I think that racism and discrimination in any form is wrong. We all need to realize that there is only one race, the human race and that none are better than any other.

We are all equal. Not the same. But equal.

Answer 7

so they are from the lower caste and you from the higher? Yes, in India everything is dependent on the family. (not that I need to tell you) A daughter doing this would be shaming the family. In my opinion, the only way to get through this is for Christianity to be involved. IN Christ, we are all one; there is no need or room for prejudice.

Answer 8

caste, caste..... rubbish... the credit goes to the brahmins who were from ariyans... being an indian... i should say nowadays more intercaste marriages were allowed... its worth thinking about the boy and the status of his well being in the society.... say he should not be druken or smoker or pimp or such kind of activities of having other extramarital affairs...

tell ur father... he can judge the fellow whom he hate and being ur bf... tell him that.... marrying a guy who is polluted in the society will be the worst to get married... even if he is from ur caste... will ur father accept to married u to that guy who was polluted....

tell ur father... we are living in mordern India... why are u trying back to old cultures... did he want to see the pain and sorrows still we are suffering in the being in the name of caste...

and also my frnd.. i should say.... do not go outside for marriage until u get the permission from ur parents... its a pity of runing from the house for marriage, then the society won't accept than the intercaste marriage.....

make ur parents understand... make them speak with the boys father and mother... good luck...

Answer 9

my opinion:

is anyone else in your family supporting your decision, your brother, sister, uncle for instance? if so, maybe have them talk to your parents. if they truly support your decision, it would be easier for them to convince your parents, since they are going to be talking to them leaving the emotions out of the discussion, which i think is what you will essentially need to convince your parents. if no one is on your side, maybe try to talk to people your parents really trust and respect, and have them talk to your parents.

Answer 10

'Manonukulam prathamam prashashtham" is the recommendations of the Shastras. marry without
parrents permission, that would not be a sin.
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