My brother called police last night...?

Question

I am a little upset since last night because my brother called the police and said my mum and us sisters were not letting him go on his own free will. I am muslim and was born and bred in the uk. I am 21 years old and work full time and pay my way. My father has remarried and mum brought me and my 2 sisters and brother up on her own. My brother doesn`t give anything towards the house, even though he works. He sleeps during the day and goes out in the night. He is in debt off about 5 grand and owes mum 2 and half grand. Mum confronted him last night and said i want my money and u owe too debt companies aswell, but he lied and called police. Police didn`t listen too us they thought were liars. He hasn`t come home since last night he went with the police. My mother is a single parent and brother is 20 and im 21 the eldest. I think he does drugs. Shall i phone him or leave it for a few days. Mum cries alot because only son and is missing him, i said don`t call him teach him a lesson.

i have had enough because i pay for nearly all the bills and food he just goes out and eats and sleeps. I didn`t sleep since last night.

Answer 1

let him stay out - he will soon learn that he will have to budget, pay for bills etc and it won't be as easy as it was at home afterall he is 20 not 15.
He might then appreciate what he did have after a while of trying to cope on his own.
Also if he does manage to live on his own he might find it easier to understand what he was doing wrong at home.

Good luck.

Answer 2

HE needs to work this out as it is his chapter of the big book of lifes mysteries.

There is a lot of money being owed and sounds like he panicked when he rang the police so maybe he is dabbling with some class a's or gambling.

You should all club together and go on a long holiday away from his usual scene.

Family love is bigger than any debt and it wll work in the end.

Don't get the police involved as they're normally more interested in anything outstanding plus it is domestic family problems and they have their own.

Answer 3

I think you are correct in not phoning him. If you call him, he is the one that is in control of the situation. If he is away he will have time to think on his own and he may make the right decision. If you think he is on drugs, it is his problem, no matter how much you love someone and try to help them they will not stop unless they want to themselves. Your mum loaning the money to him is helping him. It makes his life to easy having no responsibilities. Its hard being a single parent and your brother is showing no respect for your mum. I know it must be hard for your mother, you and your 2 sisters. But being hard on him will be the best for him, trust me.
I had to learn the hard way to, I had a brother who was the same when he was younger..
Good luck, hope everything goes weel for you.
Just be there for your mum. OK.
X

Answer 4

call. And the reason ...my ex husband did drugs and when he was "clean" I would let him be a part of our daughters life, and when he was "using" I wouldn't allow him around. Well about 5 weeks ago he went back out after staying clean for 7 months, I told my daughter her dad was back on drugs and we would not be able to have him in our lives until he got clean again. To make a long story short he called on a Tuesday and left 2 messages to please let him see Jessica, well as long as he was using we didn't. He was murdered 2 days later in a bad drug deal. I at times wish we could have seen him one last time before he died. Please do all you can because we are never promised tomorrow.

Answer 5

Pack his bags and teach him a lesson. This boy is walking all over your mom and thats BS. As long as she keeps taking it he'll keep doing it and obviously babying him is NOT getting him anywhere in life. A person like this will bankrupt and devestate an entire family in no time. Let him go out in to the world and fall on his face.

Answer 6

Your brother is mad!! He thinks that being that way is ok & it isn't. Unfortunately, you & your mum should let him go & make his mistakes (sometimes that's the best way we learn in life). You'll be there when/if he really needs you & your mum but right now I say cut him loose, comfort your mum & sister, take a deep breath & get some sleep tonight.

Answer 7

I would not call him he needs to be taught a lesson he can`t treat you or your mother the way he is if anything he should be looking after your mum and helping her out as i bet she does his washing ironing cleaning and cooking his food it`s about time he got a kick up the back side i would let him stew and wait and see what his response is tell your mum not to worry about him he is a big boy now and it`s about time he learnt how to look after himself.

Answer 8

This guy has no respect what so ever and manages to have your mother wrapped around his finger. Punishment has to be issued and for once he needs to be able to stand on his own two feet and without the support of his family he will quickly learn that no one but yourselves will help him because for now he thinks life owes him and he owes life nothing in return. The shallowness will not help him in life at all. He needs to earn the respect given to him.

IT MAY BE HARD AT FIRST TO EXPECT HIM TO FEND FOR HIMSELF but how else will he learn

Answer 9

He is 20 & should be responsible. Though being eldest you owe a duty of care for him. But if he is such irresponsible, the it's worth forgetting him bcz you should take care of ur mom & young sister.

If he is drug addict send him to rehab center with the help of police.

Answer 10

Leave him out in the big bad world to pay for himself - he will soon realise how good he had it at home.
Also contact all the debt companies and let them know he no longer lives there - this will stop them from potentially transferring the debt into the family name or black listing your family/house.
Be strong - you will get through this