My dad and my sister don't get along and haven't for awhile, I hate it what can I do?

Question

My family doesn't get why their fighting bothers me so much, and I want to be supportive of my sister and be on her side, but on the other hand my dad is partially right. I should stay out but I want my family to get along.

Answer 1

I doubt that there is a right or wrong answer here. Most importantly I would try not to take sides. You said you wanted to support your sister, but that you also felt your father was partially correct. Your admitting that each person in this conflict has some validity to their arguments. If I were you, if asked by your father, I would try to articulate your sisters position to him in the hopes that he might understand it better. Likewise, if asked by your sister I would try to make her understand your fathers position. Hopefully if they could understand where the other is coming from without the anger they might find some comman ground and a solution. The other thing to remember is that a family is not a democracy, it is a parental dictatorship. If the argument is about, your sister going out to a keg party and she's only sixteen, and somthing were to happen, your parents are legally liable for your sisters actions. Your greatest challenge I feel will be to resist internalizing the hurtful things that are said in anger that might be directed at you. If you try to explain the validity of your fathers position to your sister she may brand you a traitor and vice versa. Most children, especially ones in their mid to late teen years, think their parents are out of touch and therefore know little about any given situation you face. But the reality is usually that they really do know the score. Their vast years of experience allow them to be able to discern truth from lies, sincereity from deception, etc. far better than you or your sister do. My life improved immensely when I quit fighting their rules and went along with them. What I didn't, and could never have understood about their seemingly unjustifiable positions then becomes clearer as time passes and your emotional maturity grows. With very few exceptions, looking back, my parents were most often correct. I lost a daughter to a herion overdose some years back. We fought about her dating a man who was, at that time, 15 years older than her. To her I was arbitrairly imposing my will for no other reason than to exercise my authority. She completely discounted the fact that I spent one on one time with him and, given my experience, could see he was nothing but a coniving control freak who had no respect for himself and even less for women. She resolved the argument by running away with him. Six months later she was gone. My daughter did not have the opportunity to learn that some people pay attention to you in order to victimize you or control you. She only saw his attention as love. And to keep his love she did anything he wanted including injecting herself with drugs, stealing, and prostituting herself. My daughter was a good student, and was preparing to go to college when all this took place. She was confident and competent individual who sadly took my stance against here choice of lover as a groundless and arbitrary exercise of parental authouity. It was not, and she, as well as our family, paid a heavy price for her stubborness.

Answer 2

My family has the same kind of problem. Except I am the sister who's fighting with the dad. Try not to take sides and tell them both that they should just try not to talk too much with each other and if they start fighting, one of them should ignore the other.

Answer 3

You may have to just accept it--my sister began fighting with me and my mother about 20 years after my father died (and a rich aunt who left Mattie Mae nothing). She was partially insane or possesed by a demon--I think both.

There was nothing I could do to relieve the breaking apart of our three hearts--actually my sister removing hers from our trinity.

Try sitting both down and telling them the fighting is hurting you and you love them both and want them to love each other so you will be less unhappy. It may work but I have my doubts. In any case, don't take sides between THEM. Work to get YOUR side a part of the picture and beg (yes, beg) for their love.

Answer 4

A complicated situation. Why wouldn't your family understand why it bothers you? It seems like they're too busy fighting to care about your feelings. Hopefully you can find some friends who can sympathize with you and help you stay out of the line of fire at home.

Answer 5

my dad use to yell so i carry the residing house lived with my mom then a pair moths later have been given right here decrease back the yelling had stoped yet you suggested your mom died ( I m sorry) in case you have an close uncle or aunt grand dad/mom to stay with for a time to lit him cool off and take your little brother in case you cant stay thougher then attempt to grant him yet yet another aunt or something in case you cant dont pass away him there if all else is long previous call a help cyber web artwork or something

Answer 6

The best thing you can do is is give your love and support to both of them. Both may have their differences and always will. They must take the responsibility to come to a middle ground and settle their differences because they will always be father and daughter. That comes first before anything else. Its something they must take upon themselves and will someday. Cause push comes to shove.

Answer 7

Your heart is in the right place, but they have to work this out for themselves. Don't take sides, just support each separately.

Answer 8

Send an email to the Dr. Phil, you may be the next Dr. Phil family.

Answer 9

Same here...
I always wanted my older brother and my father to get along..
But its only a dream...
What I came to realise all through these years is that,
do what u can to make them get along,
But dont feel bad (NEVER feel bad) if u cannot succeed..

Answer 10

remind them the time when they were happy together. don't worry, tell ur sister to respect ur father's feelings, n do whatever he says for the time being. 'coz parents always want the best of their children. GOOD LUCK. have faith in GOD .